"But...what are they doing here?" the mayor asked. "I thought you said Officer Jenny ran them out of town!" Jerry: Alas, like a particularly bad head cold, they came back.
So they dumped some NyQuil on J&J's heads.
The only worse one would be also getting a phobia of Nurse Joys. ...Incidentally, has there every been a theory that they're all a bunch of Dittos that have Become The Mask? Tom: Nah, but that gives a whole new meaning t' badfic Pod People.
Hey, I'd believe that sooner than I'd believe Cori's tripe.
"Houlihan?" Meowth said as he extended his paw. "Can I just call ya Hot Lips?" Guardian's Song: *long face* That's the screenname of one of Cori Falls's Rocketshipper friends.
Let me guess. Rachel M. Houlihan was her real name?
Yes, Hot Lips WAS the name of one of Cori's friends. Maybe it was! But I already know she's making a MASH joke, so at least that's a possiblity rather than just KNOWING Cori inserted her friend into the fic.
Jerry: (Mayor) Meanwhile, I didn't investigate on my own at all because Lulu is my gay lover, and I trust whatever she says unconditionally. Tom: An' th' jokes continue t' be more interestin' than th' fic.
LESBIANS :D
Jerry: Maybe those towns, in canon, don't actually have Supermayors ready to right all Team Rocket's wrongs on a whim? Tom: Aw, 'a course they do. 'M sure anythin' else is just 'cause'a Ash's great-uncle or somethin'. Jerry: Don't give her ideas.
Noober: *has all the mayors tied up in a closet* Hahahahaha! They bought my village idiot act flawlessly! Now I can force you all to play Yahtzee with me! While watching the Felix the Cat movie! And Sleepaway Camp III! Mayors: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tom: An' would it have KILLED y' t' WEAR CIVILIAN CLOTHES when y' weren't in th' middle'a a mission? Jerry: But then, these poor souls couldn't be ~persecuted~ enough!
Tom, Earth Logic doesn't work on Cori Falls. Remember? D:
"Fortunately, they weren't very bright -- Tom and Jerry: You think the readers are going to argue with that, Miss Falls? once they were outside of town, a nice little boy named Ash Ketchum fought them off with his Pikachu and helped me get the food back!" Officer Jenny continued.
OH GOD JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE ASH TRASHING WAS OVER
Behind me, I could hear Jessie muttering a string of curses under her breath. I looked and saw James place his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her. Jerry: You know, if he's her therapist to this extent, MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T BE DATING. It would be one thing if they could handle the situation maturely, but since BOTH of them collapse into dysfunctional heaps whenever they get into a fight and lose their support structure? No. Unless getting suicidal over haircuts is supposed to be ~healthy~ now. Tom: Never gonna get over that, are you? Jerry: Would YOU if Butch and Cassidy were shown contemplating suicide over chipped nails? Tom: ...-_________- Y' don't hafta put those images into my head, y' know.
No one wants to imagine their parents being Cori Falls pod people. NO ONE. Poor 3rd Gen Morgan
Tom: *ROARING WITH LAUGHTER* Jerry: Oh, YES! Let's ask the CROOKS what THEY think happened! What a BRILLIANT breakthrough in criminal justice! Of course we should trust the words of known crooks and their patsies over the words of TRAINED POLICE OFFICERS! Tom: 'Oh, Officer! I only stole all those expensive dresses for resale on the black market... because I've always felt like a woman on the inside.' Jerry: 'My Furby says it's true!' Tom: 'All right, then, I'll totally let you go!' Jerry: 'And I only kidnapped all those Chanseys... because I'm depressed and I never got enough hugs as a child.' Tom: 'If you don't believe me, ask my accomplice!' Jerry: 'We'll release you on the spot, and it's a crying shame the taxpayers aren't paying for your Prozac!' Tom: 'I only beat up that ten-year-old... because he reminded me of my mother.' Jerry: 'My therapist agrees!' Tom: 'Little shit had it coming anyway! Have a nice day!' Jerry: *pause* Okay, now we're getting uncomfortably close to actual fic!logic. Tom: Th' sad thing is that y' can't make this up. 'Cept it's even less reasonable than 'He reminded me'a Mummy'. Jerry: 'He didn't value the life of the hardened criminal over an innocent Celebi!' Tom: 'THAT CHARD MONSTER!!11!!' Jerry: ...And, come to think of it, How James Got His Mojo Back was essentially the first scenario with "woman" replaced by "Moltres". Tom: *shudders* Yeah, let's drop this like a hot potato...
'I only kicked that puppy...because my father abandoned me before I was born and never came back to give me hugs! My Tumblr friends all know this!' 'Poor baby! Anyone who thinks you're a bad person after that needs to be slapped!'
Okay you took all the good ones. XD But man, this thing really IS sporking itself at this rate.
Jerry: (Mayor) I always believe criminals! Those poor Enron executives - they told me their dogs ate their accounting books!
Dogs: *om nom nom* Officer: Then in that case, those dogs need to be put in jail! BAD LITTLE SHITS! Dogs: RUFF, RUFF! (Screw you!) *eat the officer's clothes*
[Jenny arguing with the chief and the mayor and Lulu]
Jerry: So Jenny is a conservative strawcreature, obsessed with tradition and the law over safety, and Lulu is a liberal strawcreature, obsessed with ~kindness~ and ~empathy~ over safety.
This fic is made of so much straw you could stuff a scarecrow with it.
That poor Jenny. How dare she arrest criminals for stealing! I hope she finds a new job somewhere else that's free of Cori's whiny influence.
and protect with a greater degree of competence." Tom: (Lisa Simpson) AS THE LIZARD QUEEEEEEN
And then Lisa made a law that no one was allowed to eat meat anymore and they fired HER, too.
Tom: (Mayor) I'm becoming a man! A man... with blond hair and a tan!
*Mayor* I'm good for relieving your...tension!
Jerry: Why doesn't JESSIE ever comfort JAMES like this in these fics?! Tom: Because James is a manly man and Jessie is his poor weeping maiden.
Rule #2 of Corific. Rule #1 of course is that Team Rocket is ALWAYS right.
Again, poor Jenny. She's really the woobie in all of this, losing her job because she refused to kiss the asses of quartet of whining Team Rocket members.
[Jessie being all nervous about public speaking]
This is Jessie. She'd never sweatdrop or panic or need James's reassurance. She'd just waltz onto the stage and start bullshitting her way through a fantastical explanation. Complete with melodramatic swirls and overwrought emotions just for the hell of it.
Jerry: (Ash) I don't mean you any harm, either! I just want you to STOP STEALING MY POKEMON!!!
Jessie and James: BUT IT'S MAGICAL! WE NEED IT! James: With the money the boss gives us for bringing Pikachu to him I can buy new dresses! Jessie: And I can buy the most expensive makeup! Meowth: And I can buy a grocery store! Ash: GET A JOB!
Guardian's Song: *through teeth* It demeans legitimate sincere apologies when Miss Falls sets the whole thing up to be an automatic asspat. Because people who sincerely apologize for real? Know their apologies may not be accepted. Know they may be setting themselves up for scorn and humiliation. Know they won't have all forgiven.
And they do it anyway, because they're sincerely sorry and they want others to know that, and they feel that they owe those whom they wronged an apology.
Here? Let's face it, it's so that Cori Falls can lob just another group-lovefest at her favorite characters. Cori doesn't feel it was REALLY Wrong - she makes that obvious with all the characters who excuse Team Rocket completely ~because they were hunnngry~. She just wants Team Rocket to get forgiven. And, of course, for Ash to be bashed because he didn't MAGICALLY know that the perpetual crooks, con-artists, and fraudsters for ONCE weren't out for Number One.
I feel strongly about her making a mockery of repentance! I DO!
*APPLAUDS*
Also, were Jessie and James really sorry they did wrong, or were they sorry they got caught and made people ~mad at them~? Because the way Cori writes it it feels like the latter. They're always more concerned about making sure nobody's mad at them and thinks they're Good People than actually feeling remorse for doing wrong. Even in their dealings with each other, it's always "WAAAAAAH I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD AT MEEEEEE" and not "I shouldn't have acted like such an asshole".
And of course Jessie cries. That's aaalll she does in these fics is CRY. And yep, everyone's applauding and patting them on the ass and ALLLL IS FORGIVEN BECAUSE TR ARE SUCH NICE PEOPLE. :D Can I strangle them now?
And holy hell, AN ENTIRE FUCKING FESTIVAL?! This is beyond asspats, this is flat-out PUBLIC ORAL SEX! If we go any further these people will be bending over to let Jessie and James assfuck them all night long!
"Let's have a vote! Those in favor of holding a second festival?"
All of the villagers raised their hands.
"Those opposed?"
Silence.
"Then it's unanimous -- we're having another party!"
Everybody began to cheer again.
...too late. D:
[blah blah blah James strokes Jesise and they make out while Wobbuffet faps to it]
And now, as my friends and I stood at the buffet table, helping ourselves to lettuce wraps, roasted chicken, pimento cheese sandwiches, strawberry rhubarb pie, and various other things that the villagers had made,
FOOD PORN. D: Cori's food porn either annoys you or makes you hungry. Or both.
[blah blah blah sappy speech and more tl;dr crap]
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT END, CORI, LET IT END. Just say "and they had a wonderful festival with yummy food and felt accepted and loved, THE FUCKING END"!
One firework in particular caught my attention, however -- it exploded in the shape of a giant red heart. Seeing it reminded me of the love we all have for each other...and the bright future that Jessie and James's love was going to make possible.
I am so lucky I never read this fic again because I thought it was too boring and forgettable. All of Cori's fics are blatant masturbation of her favorite characters, but this one is especially gross about it.
Yeah, it is, I told him. But I was also hoping it'd make Jess and Jim get all lovey-dovey again. Tom: WHAT?! Gah! Stop that stuff, y' disgustin' HUMAN-VOYEUR!
He's manufacturing his own furry porn! D: Jerry: *from bathroom* Ohhhhhh gaaaaaaaaaawd. *retches*
"Heh! Great minds think alike!" Meowth laughed. Then, turning back to James, "Hey! Wobbu sez he wants ya ta give Jessie a kiss!" Tom: D8
James blushed.
Come on, lover-boy! Give her a big, juicy, wet one! You know you want to! I said. Tom: D:
EW EW EW WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHY
Jessie returned his smile and his embrace. "Yeah. Not everybody's as dense as that twerp."
Had to get in one last shot at poor Ash, didja?
[Jessie and James getting ready to leave]
OH GOD IT NEVER ENDS THEY'RE GIVING THEM MORE GIFTS AND SEEING THEM OFF
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[snip TR getting monuments and plaques made for them]
at this point Cori can just have them burp rainbows and sparkles and make their armpits smell like roses and I won't even bat an eyelash
and it just keeps going and going and going with more Wobbuffet masturbation
Guardian's Song: For fuck's sakes, REALLY?!
Right. So if ANYONE does ANYTHING wrong but they ~had good intentions~, THAT LETS THEM OFF COMPLETELY?!
Holy ****! I'm not even going to ADDRESS that one! I'm not even going to dignify it with a response! Holy ****!
The only thing I'll say about that is that she's not counting ASH'S good intentions or JENNY'S good intentions, and let the READERS rant about ALL THE MYRIAD THINGS WRONG WITH THAT ONE SENTENCE!
AND YET WHEN ASH AND OFFICER JENNY TRY TO STOP KNOWN CRIMINALS FROM BREAKING THE LAW AND BEING DICKBAGS, ASH GETS BEATEN UP OR INSULTED AND JENNY LOSES HER FUCKING JOB
THAT'S FAIR, CORI! THAT'S REEEEEEEAAALLL FAIR!
"Check it out, Wobbu!" he snickered. "It would appear dat our friends is renewin' dere membership in the Mile High Club...yet again!" Tom: Stop watchin' furry porn, y' two perverts! Yer POKEMON! Not HUMANS!
I looked and saw that Jessie and James were kissing. They'd taken off their shirts, and James was unhooking Jessie's bra while she unzipped his pants. Yep. Looks like Team Rocket's gettin' it on again! I agreed.
...oh God.
SHE JUST HAD TO GO THERE.
MEOWTH, YOU'VE CORRUPTED WOBBUFFET INTO A HUMANSEXUAL VOYUER
GAAAAAAAAH
And HOW is having a Meowth and a Wobbuffet on top of a balloon not unsafe, Cori? Really?
(also screw her for trying to ruin the mile-high club concept in smutfic D: someone needs to write GOOD fic about an older Ash and Misty doing it on top of Charizard someday. Or even Jessie dominating James in the balloon)
Awwww Snooopy! :D [cuddles picture and momentarily forgets about crapfic]
...over a day? REALLY? Jeez, and I thought some of the pairs I've written and RPed were horny little buggers. Over a WEEK I could understand, but a day? JEEZ.
Aw, cut them some slack, Meowth, I said. They're young, they're in love, and they're going to spend the rest of their lives together -- I think it's beautiful that they have such a healthy sex-life!
CORI DID YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW GROSS THIS IS?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
And does she even realize she wrote Meowth/Wobbuffet slash? XD I know it's gross considering the fic, but I find it hilarious. I almost wanna write totally serious Meowth/Wobbuffet slashy fluff...or rather, I would have back in the day where she was still batshit insane.
(Wobbuffet) Benny, MY BLITZLES HATE YOU NOW. D:<
HAHAHAHA XD
[blah blah blah more sappy introspection from Wobbuffet]
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONGER THAN I REMEMBER. I mistakenly thought this was one of her SHORTER fics. @_@ And 34 counts of cursing? For a fic this long that seems small, but then I remember this is a POKEMON FIC.
You, madam, are braver than I am for taking this on.
no subject
"But...what are they doing here?" the mayor asked. "I thought you said Officer
Jenny ran them out of town!"
Jerry: Alas, like a particularly bad head cold, they came back.
So they dumped some NyQuil on J&J's heads.
The only worse one would be also getting a phobia of Nurse Joys. ...Incidentally, has there every been a theory that they're all a bunch of Dittos that have Become The Mask?
Tom: Nah, but that gives a whole new meaning t' badfic Pod People.
Hey, I'd believe that sooner than I'd believe Cori's tripe.
"Houlihan?" Meowth said as he extended his paw. "Can I just call ya Hot Lips?"
Guardian's Song: *long face* That's the screenname of one of Cori Falls's Rocketshipper friends.
Let me guess. Rachel M. Houlihan was her real name?
Yes, Hot Lips WAS the name of one of Cori's friends. Maybe it was! But I already know she's making a MASH joke, so at least that's a possiblity rather than just KNOWING Cori inserted her friend into the fic.
Jerry: (Mayor) Meanwhile, I didn't investigate on my own at all because Lulu is my gay lover, and I trust whatever she says unconditionally.
Tom: An' th' jokes continue t' be more interestin' than th' fic.
LESBIANS :D
Jerry: Maybe those towns, in canon, don't actually have Supermayors ready to right all Team Rocket's wrongs on a whim?
Tom: Aw, 'a course they do. 'M sure anythin' else is just 'cause'a Ash's great-uncle or somethin'.
Jerry: Don't give her ideas.
Noober: *has all the mayors tied up in a closet* Hahahahaha! They bought my village idiot act flawlessly! Now I can force you all to play Yahtzee with me! While watching the Felix the Cat movie! And Sleepaway Camp III!
Mayors: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tom: An' would it have KILLED y' t' WEAR CIVILIAN CLOTHES when y' weren't in th' middle'a a mission?
Jerry: But then, these poor souls couldn't be ~persecuted~ enough!
Tom, Earth Logic doesn't work on Cori Falls. Remember? D:
"Fortunately, they weren't very bright --
Tom and Jerry: You think the readers are going to argue with that, Miss Falls?
once they were outside of town, a nice
little boy named Ash Ketchum fought them off with his Pikachu and helped me get
the food back!" Officer Jenny continued.
OH GOD JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE ASH TRASHING WAS OVER
Behind me, I could hear Jessie muttering a string of curses under her breath. I
looked and saw James place his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her.
Jerry: You know, if he's her therapist to this extent, MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T BE DATING. It would be one thing if they could handle the situation maturely, but since BOTH of them collapse into dysfunctional heaps whenever they get into a fight and lose their support structure? No. Unless getting suicidal over haircuts is supposed to be ~healthy~ now.
Tom: Never gonna get over that, are you?
Jerry: Would YOU if Butch and Cassidy were shown contemplating suicide over chipped nails?
Tom: ...-_________- Y' don't hafta put those images into my head, y' know.
No one wants to imagine their parents being Cori Falls pod people. NO ONE.
Poor 3rd Gen MorganTom: *ROARING WITH LAUGHTER*
Jerry: Oh, YES! Let's ask the CROOKS what THEY think happened! What a BRILLIANT breakthrough in criminal justice! Of course we should trust the words of known crooks and their patsies over the words of TRAINED POLICE OFFICERS!
Tom: 'Oh, Officer! I only stole all those expensive dresses for resale on the black market... because I've always felt like a woman on the inside.'
Jerry: 'My Furby says it's true!'
Tom: 'All right, then, I'll totally let you go!'
Jerry: 'And I only kidnapped all those Chanseys... because I'm depressed and I never got enough hugs as a child.'
Tom: 'If you don't believe me, ask my accomplice!'
Jerry: 'We'll release you on the spot, and it's a crying shame the taxpayers aren't paying for your Prozac!'
Tom: 'I only beat up that ten-year-old... because he reminded me of my mother.'
Jerry: 'My therapist agrees!'
Tom: 'Little shit had it coming anyway! Have a nice day!'
Jerry: *pause* Okay, now we're getting uncomfortably close to actual fic!logic.
Tom: Th' sad thing is that y' can't make this up. 'Cept it's even less reasonable than 'He reminded me'a Mummy'.
Jerry: 'He didn't value the life of the hardened criminal over an innocent Celebi!'
Tom: 'THAT CHARD MONSTER!!11!!'
Jerry: ...And, come to think of it, How James Got His Mojo Back was essentially the first scenario with "woman" replaced by "Moltres".
Tom: *shudders* Yeah, let's drop this like a hot potato...
'I only kicked that puppy...because my father abandoned me before I was born and never came back to give me hugs! My Tumblr friends all know this!'
'Poor baby! Anyone who thinks you're a bad person after that needs to be slapped!'
Okay you took all the good ones. XD But man, this thing really IS sporking itself at this rate.
Jerry: (Mayor) I always believe criminals! Those poor Enron executives - they told me their dogs ate their accounting books!
Dogs: *om nom nom*
Officer: Then in that case, those dogs need to be put in jail! BAD LITTLE SHITS!
Dogs: RUFF, RUFF! (Screw you!) *eat the officer's clothes*
[Jenny arguing with the chief and the mayor and Lulu]
Jerry: So Jenny is a conservative strawcreature, obsessed with tradition and the law over safety, and Lulu is a liberal strawcreature, obsessed with ~kindness~ and ~empathy~ over safety.
This fic is made of so much straw you could stuff a scarecrow with it.
That poor Jenny. How dare she arrest criminals for stealing! I hope she finds a new job somewhere else that's free of Cori's whiny influence.
and protect with a greater degree of competence."
Tom: (Lisa Simpson) AS THE LIZARD QUEEEEEEN
And then Lisa made a law that no one was allowed to eat meat anymore and they fired HER, too.
Tom: (Mayor) I'm becoming a man! A man... with blond hair and a tan!
*Mayor* I'm good for relieving your...tension!
Jerry: Why doesn't JESSIE ever comfort JAMES like this in these fics?!
Tom: Because James is a manly man and Jessie is his poor weeping maiden.
Rule #2 of Corific. Rule #1 of course is that Team Rocket is ALWAYS right.
Again, poor Jenny. She's really the woobie in all of this, losing her job because she refused to kiss the asses of quartet of whining Team Rocket members.
[Jessie being all nervous about public speaking]
This is Jessie. She'd never sweatdrop or panic or need James's reassurance. She'd just waltz onto the stage and start bullshitting her way through a fantastical explanation. Complete with melodramatic swirls and overwrought emotions just for the hell of it.
Jerry: (Ash) I don't mean you any harm, either! I just want you to STOP STEALING MY POKEMON!!!
Jessie and James: BUT IT'S MAGICAL! WE NEED IT!
James: With the money the boss gives us for bringing Pikachu to him I can buy new dresses!
Jessie: And I can buy the most expensive makeup!
Meowth: And I can buy a grocery store!
Ash: GET A JOB!
Guardian's Song: *through teeth* It demeans legitimate sincere apologies when Miss Falls sets the whole thing up to be an automatic asspat. Because people who sincerely apologize for real? Know their apologies may not be accepted. Know they may be setting themselves up for scorn and humiliation. Know they won't have all forgiven.
And they do it anyway, because they're sincerely sorry and they want others to know that, and they feel that they owe those whom they wronged an apology.
Here? Let's face it, it's so that Cori Falls can lob just another group-lovefest at her favorite characters. Cori doesn't feel it was REALLY Wrong - she makes that obvious with all the characters who excuse Team Rocket completely ~because they were hunnngry~. She just wants Team Rocket to get forgiven. And, of course, for Ash to be bashed because he didn't MAGICALLY know that the perpetual crooks, con-artists, and fraudsters for ONCE weren't out for Number One.
I feel strongly about her making a mockery of repentance! I DO!
*APPLAUDS*
Also, were Jessie and James really sorry they did wrong, or were they sorry they got caught and made people ~mad at them~? Because the way Cori writes it it feels like the latter. They're always more concerned about making sure nobody's mad at them and thinks they're Good People than actually feeling remorse for doing wrong. Even in their dealings with each other, it's always "WAAAAAAH I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD AT MEEEEEE" and not "I shouldn't have acted like such an asshole".
And of course Jessie cries. That's aaalll she does in these fics is CRY. And yep, everyone's applauding and patting them on the ass and ALLLL IS FORGIVEN BECAUSE TR ARE SUCH NICE PEOPLE. :D Can I strangle them now?
And holy hell, AN ENTIRE FUCKING FESTIVAL?! This is beyond asspats, this is flat-out PUBLIC ORAL SEX! If we go any further these people will be bending over to let Jessie and James assfuck them all night long!
"Let's have a vote! Those in favor
of holding a second festival?"
All of the villagers raised their hands.
"Those opposed?"
Silence.
"Then it's unanimous -- we're having another party!"
Everybody began to cheer again.
...too late. D:
[blah blah blah James strokes Jesise and they make out while Wobbuffet faps to it]
And now, as my friends and I stood at the buffet table, helping ourselves to
lettuce wraps, roasted chicken, pimento cheese sandwiches, strawberry rhubarb
pie, and various other things that the villagers had made,
FOOD PORN. D: Cori's food porn either annoys you or makes you hungry. Or both.
[blah blah blah sappy speech and more tl;dr crap]
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT END, CORI, LET IT END. Just say "and they had a wonderful festival with yummy food and felt accepted and loved, THE FUCKING END"!
One firework in particular caught my attention, however -- it exploded in the
shape of a giant red heart. Seeing it reminded me of the love we all have for
each other...and the bright future that Jessie and James's love was going to
make possible.
JSDBGISFAO9URP3Q9485YUO438YUHEUWKIHRJISDLHFIKLDJFD
I am so lucky I never read this fic again because I thought it was too boring and forgettable. All of Cori's fics are blatant masturbation of her favorite characters, but this one is especially gross about it.
Yeah, it is, I told him. But I was also hoping it'd make Jess and Jim get all
lovey-dovey again.
Tom: WHAT?! Gah! Stop that stuff, y' disgustin' HUMAN-VOYEUR!
He's manufacturing his own furry porn! D:
Jerry: *from bathroom* Ohhhhhh gaaaaaaaaaawd. *retches*
"Heh! Great minds think alike!" Meowth laughed. Then, turning back to James,
"Hey! Wobbu sez he wants ya ta give Jessie a kiss!"
Tom: D8
James blushed.
Come on, lover-boy! Give her a big, juicy, wet one! You know you want to! I
said.
Tom: D:
EW EW EW WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHY
Jessie returned his smile and his embrace. "Yeah. Not everybody's as dense as
that twerp."
Had to get in one last shot at poor Ash, didja?
[Jessie and James getting ready to leave]
OH GOD IT NEVER ENDS THEY'RE GIVING THEM MORE GIFTS AND SEEING THEM OFF
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[snip TR getting monuments and plaques made for them]
at this point Cori can just have them burp rainbows and sparkles and make their armpits smell like roses and I won't even bat an eyelash
and it just keeps going and going and going with more Wobbuffet masturbation
Guardian's Song: For fuck's sakes, REALLY?!
Right. So if ANYONE does ANYTHING wrong but they ~had good intentions~, THAT LETS THEM OFF COMPLETELY?!
Holy ****! I'm not even going to ADDRESS that one! I'm not even going to dignify it with a response! Holy ****!
The only thing I'll say about that is that she's not counting ASH'S good intentions or JENNY'S good intentions, and let the READERS rant about ALL THE MYRIAD THINGS WRONG WITH THAT ONE SENTENCE!
AND YET WHEN ASH AND OFFICER JENNY TRY TO STOP KNOWN CRIMINALS FROM BREAKING THE LAW AND BEING DICKBAGS, ASH GETS BEATEN UP OR INSULTED AND JENNY LOSES HER FUCKING JOB
THAT'S FAIR, CORI! THAT'S REEEEEEEAAALLL FAIR!
"Check it out, Wobbu!" he snickered. "It would appear dat our friends is
renewin' dere membership in the Mile High Club...yet again!"
Tom: Stop watchin' furry porn, y' two perverts! Yer POKEMON! Not HUMANS!
I looked and saw that Jessie and James were kissing. They'd taken off their
shirts, and James was unhooking Jessie's bra while she unzipped his pants.
Yep. Looks like Team Rocket's gettin' it on again! I agreed.
...oh God.
SHE JUST HAD TO GO THERE.
MEOWTH, YOU'VE CORRUPTED WOBBUFFET INTO A HUMANSEXUAL VOYUER
GAAAAAAAAH
And HOW is having a Meowth and a Wobbuffet on top of a balloon not unsafe, Cori? Really?
(also screw her for trying to ruin the mile-high club concept in smutfic D: someone needs to write GOOD fic about an older Ash and Misty doing it on top of Charizard someday. Or even Jessie dominating James in the balloon)
Awwww Snooopy! :D [cuddles picture and momentarily forgets about crapfic]
...over a day? REALLY? Jeez, and I thought some of the pairs I've written and RPed were horny little buggers. Over a WEEK I could understand, but a day? JEEZ.
Aw, cut them some slack, Meowth, I said. They're young, they're in love, and
they're going to spend the rest of their lives together -- I think it's
beautiful that they have such a healthy sex-life!
CORI DID YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW GROSS THIS IS?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
And does she even realize she wrote Meowth/Wobbuffet slash? XD I know it's gross considering the fic, but I find it hilarious. I almost wanna write totally serious Meowth/Wobbuffet slashy fluff...or rather, I would have back in the day where she was still batshit insane.
(Wobbuffet) Benny, MY BLITZLES HATE YOU NOW. D:<
HAHAHAHA XD
[blah blah blah more sappy introspection from Wobbuffet]
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONGER THAN I REMEMBER. I mistakenly thought this was one of her SHORTER fics. @_@ And 34 counts of cursing? For a fic this long that seems small, but then I remember this is a POKEMON FIC.
You, madam, are braver than I am for taking this on.