"So they dumped some NyQuil on J&J's heads." XD NOOOO THINK OF THE HAIRCUTS ACTUALLY YES THINK OF THE HAIRCUTS >:D
"Noober: *has all the mayors tied up in a closet* Hahahahaha! They bought my village idiot act flawlessly! Now I can force you all to play Yahtzee with me! While watching the Felix the Cat movie! And Sleepaway Camp III! Mayors: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" XD
"Tom, Earth Logic doesn't work on Cori Falls. Remember? D:" Tom: I keep tryin', though I KNOW better, dang it!
"OH GOD JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE ASH TRASHING WAS OVER" That really sums up these fics, doesn't it? Just when you thought the Ash-trashing was over... SON of Ash-trashing!
"No one wants to imagine their parents being Cori Falls pod people. NO ONE. Poor 3rd Gen Morgan" D: Yep. Poor 3rd Gen Morgan. (Hey, think of poor Severa! She'd be Jessieized in no time flat! D:)
"Okay you took all the good ones. XD But man, this thing really IS sporking itself at this rate." D: No matter how silly the parody, it PROBABLY ALREADY HAPPENED IN-FIC!
"This fic is made of so much straw you could stuff a scarecrow with it." Feed it to a donkey. :P (And hope it doesn't misread "Ash" as "ass". Poor thing might get its feelings hurt.)
"*Mayor* I'm good for relieving your...tension!" *Mayor* I can feel you shiver with antici...pation!
"Rule #2 of Corific. Rule #1 of course is that Team Rocket is ALWAYS right." How could I have forgotten?!/1/1/1/!?!!?
"This is Jessie. She'd never sweatdrop or panic or need James's reassurance. She'd just waltz onto the stage and start bullshitting her way through a fantastical explanation. Complete with melodramatic swirls and overwrought emotions just for the hell of it." In a situation where she was genuinely remorseful and needed to apologize, I can see her choking up just because she's never done anything like it before. JAMES being able to just waltz on and give the speech while SHE'S freezing up, however, is just... *makes indecent gesture at fic*
"Ash: GET A JOB!" Jessie and James: FURSECUTION!11!!
"Also, were Jessie and James really sorry they did wrong, or were they sorry they got caught and made people ~mad at them~? Because the way Cori writes it it feels like the latter. They're always more concerned about making sure nobody's mad at them and thinks they're Good People than actually feeling remorse for doing wrong. Even in their dealings with each other, it's always "WAAAAAAH I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD AT MEEEEEE" and not "I shouldn't have acted like such an asshole"." I'll give Cori the benefit of the doubt on the guilt, because she repeatedly emphasized that the guilt was over hurting such nice people. As in, you know, it wouldn't have mattered at all if they had been anything less than saintly towards Team Rocket. D|
"And of course Jessie cries. That's aaalll she does in these fics is CRY. And yep, everyone's applauding and patting them on the ass and ALLLL IS FORGIVEN BECAUSE TR ARE SUCH NICE PEOPLE. :D Can I strangle them now?
And holy hell, AN ENTIRE FUCKING FESTIVAL?! This is beyond asspats, this is flat-out PUBLIC ORAL SEX! If we go any further these people will be bending over to let Jessie and James assfuck them all night long!" XD XD XD I am gratified to see that even READING the sporking accurately recreates the feeling of DOING the sporking! I did this entire thing without reading ahead, so you can see my gradual descent into WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING through the characters. :P
"FOOD PORN. D: Cori's food porn either annoys you or makes you hungry. Or both." I just feel like I'm reading a catering menu for a conference. D:
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT END, CORI, LET IT END. Just say "and they had a wonderful festival with yummy food and felt accepted and loved, THE FUCKING END"!" BWAHAHAHA! And then it keeps going and going, doesn't it? >:D
I am so lucky I never read this fic again because I thought it was too boring and forgettable. All of Cori's fics are blatant masturbation of her favorite characters, but this one is especially gross about it." Boring, yes. Forgettable? I think your brain just Refused To Comprehend The True Form. XD ...To be fair, READING it is probably much easier, since the brain can gloss over the repetition. Sporking has the unfortunate side effect that you're literally going line-by-line. D:
"EW EW EW WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHY" XD
"Had to get in one last shot at poor Ash, didja?" (Cori) You can NEVER get in enough shots at Ash! (/Cori)
"OH GOD IT NEVER ENDS THEY'RE GIVING THEM MORE GIFTS AND SEEING THEM OFF
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" XD I hate to say it, but I'm enjoying the knowledge that I'm not suffering alone.
"[snip TR getting monuments and plaques made for them]
at this point Cori can just have them burp rainbows and sparkles and make their armpits smell like roses and I won't even bat an eyelash" Come to think of it, isn't all that Wiccan stuff the equivalent of that? :P
"and it just keeps going and going and going with more Wobbuffet masturbation" Is THAT the reason for Wobbuffet's expression?! *dodges rotten tomatoes*
"AND YET WHEN ASH AND OFFICER JENNY TRY TO STOP KNOWN CRIMINALS FROM BREAKING THE LAW AND BEING DICKBAGS, ASH GETS BEATEN UP OR INSULTED AND JENNY LOSES HER FUCKING JOB
THAT'S FAIR, CORI! THAT'S REEEEEEEAAALLL FAIR!" YEP. WELCOME TO CORILAND.
"...oh God.
SHE JUST HAD TO GO THERE.
MEOWTH, YOU'VE CORRUPTED WOBBUFFET INTO A HUMANSEXUAL VOYUER
GAAAAAAAAH" Yeeeeeah, the authorcam of 'OMGOSH J/J IS SO HAWT ^_^' goes horribly wrong when it's through a Pokemon's eyes, doesn't it?
"And HOW is having a Meowth and a Wobbuffet on top of a balloon not unsafe, Cori? Really?" Because... because Coriphysics, that's why! Don't ask silly questions! :P
"(also screw her for trying to ruin the mile-high club concept in smutfic D: someone needs to write GOOD fic about an older Ash and Misty doing it on top of Charizard someday. Or even Jessie dominating James in the balloon)" If you want extra hilarity, remember that it usually goes on for four hours. So they'll be incapacitated for that period of time.
Now, the two other possible pilots are ATOP THE BALLOON, so they aren't going to be able to do ANYTHING if anything suddenly goes wrong. Unless "NOT DIE" counts as something.
What happens if a sudden gust of wind picks up? ;D
"...over a day? REALLY? Jeez, and I thought some of the pairs I've written and RPed were horny little buggers. Over a WEEK I could understand, but a day? JEEZ." I believe thees is called "sex addiction". Par excellence.
"CORI DID YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW GROSS THIS IS?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" 'OMGAWD JESSIE/JAMES ARE SO HAWT HOTTEST PEOPLE EVER MMM MM OMGAWD HAAAAAW- 'What do you mean, I shouldn't use a Wobbuffet as my mouthpiece? 'Why? 'What implications? I'd think Jessie/James sex is a very FORTUNATE implication! 'It's good for them to have a healthy sex life! 'Why are you backing away from me like that? 'Seriously, what am I doing wrong? '...Huh. Weirdo. Well, nothing to be done about it, I guess! Time for me to write more hot four-hour true-love sex! :D'
"And does she even realize she wrote Meowth/Wobbuffet slash? XD I know it's gross considering the fic, but I find it hilarious. I almost wanna write totally serious Meowth/Wobbuffet slashy fluff...or rather, I would have back in the day where she was still batshit insane." Do it anyway! Horrify your audiences in a whole NEW way! XD
"HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONGER THAN I REMEMBER. I mistakenly thought this was one of her SHORTER fics. @_@ And 34 counts of cursing? For a fic this long that seems small, but then I remember this is a POKEMON FIC." It's actually her tenth-biggest/nineteenth-smallest (if I'm counting right) oneshot, which places it... around the middle of the pack. (I'm using http://sarajaye.superbusnet.com/Fanfics/Corific/?C=S;O=A , by the way.) "A Hard Night's Work", "SEVEN SHADES OF RED", "Dark Reflection", "Stories for Supper", "A Bird in the Hand", "Heroic Hearts", "A Phony Matrimony", "To Extend Our Reach To The Stars Above", and "Never Too Late" are longer. *SHUDDER*
And yep, 34 counts of shit/crap/ass/damn. Apparently Team Rocket is full of incredible pottymouths who never at all swore in front of Ash and the others while the cameras were running. Who knew? :P
"You, madam, are braver than I am for taking this on." It helps that I did a blind run, such that I had NO IDEA what sort of shit I was heading into past the fairly-innocuous 'Oh, Cori!TeamRocket is bitching again' start... Heh. Actually, I planned to only do another half of it before hiatus-ing the sporking again, but I said to myself, "Y' know what? If you can survive this thing all the way through, you can go download a Pokemon Blue ROM and try a Nuzlocke," and so I powered through and finished it. OI, I EARNED THAT REWARD. D: D8 @_@
no subject
YEP. @_@
"So they dumped some NyQuil on J&J's heads."
XD NOOOO THINK OF THE HAIRCUTS
ACTUALLY
YES THINK OF THE HAIRCUTS >:D
"Noober: *has all the mayors tied up in a closet* Hahahahaha! They bought my village idiot act flawlessly! Now I can force you all to play Yahtzee with me! While watching the Felix the Cat movie! And Sleepaway Camp III!
Mayors: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
XD
"Tom, Earth Logic doesn't work on Cori Falls. Remember? D:"
Tom: I keep tryin', though I KNOW better, dang it!
"OH GOD JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE ASH TRASHING WAS OVER"
That really sums up these fics, doesn't it? Just when you thought the Ash-trashing was over... SON of Ash-trashing!
"No one wants to imagine their parents being Cori Falls pod people. NO ONE. Poor 3rd Gen Morgan"
D: Yep. Poor 3rd Gen Morgan.
(Hey, think of poor Severa! She'd be Jessieized in no time flat! D:)
"Okay you took all the good ones. XD But man, this thing really IS sporking itself at this rate."
D: No matter how silly the parody, it PROBABLY ALREADY HAPPENED IN-FIC!
"This fic is made of so much straw you could stuff a scarecrow with it."
Feed it to a donkey. :P (And hope it doesn't misread "Ash" as "ass". Poor thing might get its feelings hurt.)
"*Mayor* I'm good for relieving your...tension!"
*Mayor* I can feel you shiver with antici...pation!
"Rule #2 of Corific. Rule #1 of course is that Team Rocket is ALWAYS right."
How could I have forgotten?!/1/1/1/!?!!?
"This is Jessie. She'd never sweatdrop or panic or need James's reassurance. She'd just waltz onto the stage and start bullshitting her way through a fantastical explanation. Complete with melodramatic swirls and overwrought emotions just for the hell of it."
In a situation where she was genuinely remorseful and needed to apologize, I can see her choking up
just because she's never done anything like it before. JAMES being able to just waltz on and give the speech while SHE'S freezing up, however, is just... *makes indecent gesture at fic*"Ash: GET A JOB!"
Jessie and James: FURSECUTION!11!!
"Also, were Jessie and James really sorry they did wrong, or were they sorry they got caught and made people ~mad at them~? Because the way Cori writes it it feels like the latter. They're always more concerned about making sure nobody's mad at them and thinks they're Good People than actually feeling remorse for doing wrong. Even in their dealings with each other, it's always "WAAAAAAH I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD AT MEEEEEE" and not "I shouldn't have acted like such an asshole"."
I'll give Cori the benefit of the doubt on the guilt, because she repeatedly emphasized that the guilt was over hurting such nice people. As in, you know, it wouldn't have mattered at all if they had been anything less than saintly towards Team Rocket. D|
"And of course Jessie cries. That's aaalll she does in these fics is CRY. And yep, everyone's applauding and patting them on the ass and ALLLL IS FORGIVEN BECAUSE TR ARE SUCH NICE PEOPLE. :D Can I strangle them now?
And holy hell, AN ENTIRE FUCKING FESTIVAL?! This is beyond asspats, this is flat-out PUBLIC ORAL SEX! If we go any further these people will be bending over to let Jessie and James assfuck them all night long!"
XD XD XD I am gratified to see that even READING the sporking accurately recreates the feeling of DOING the sporking! I did this entire thing without reading ahead, so you can see my gradual descent into WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING through the characters. :P
"FOOD PORN. D: Cori's food porn either annoys you or makes you hungry. Or both."
I just feel like I'm reading a catering menu for a conference. D:
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT END, CORI, LET IT END. Just say "and they had a wonderful festival with yummy food and felt accepted and loved, THE FUCKING END"!"
BWAHAHAHA! And then it keeps going and going, doesn't it? >:D
"JSDBGISFAO9URP3Q9485YUO438YUHEUWKIHRJISDLHFIKLDJFD
I am so lucky I never read this fic again because I thought it was too boring and forgettable. All of Cori's fics are blatant masturbation of her favorite characters, but this one is especially gross about it."
Boring, yes. Forgettable? I think your brain just Refused To Comprehend The True Form. XD ...To be fair, READING it is probably much easier, since the brain can gloss over the repetition. Sporking has the unfortunate side effect that you're literally going line-by-line. D:
"EW EW EW WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHY"
XD
"Had to get in one last shot at poor Ash, didja?"
(Cori) You can NEVER get in enough shots at Ash! (/Cori)
"OH GOD IT NEVER ENDS THEY'RE GIVING THEM MORE GIFTS AND SEEING THEM OFF
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
XD I hate to say it, but I'm enjoying the knowledge that I'm not suffering alone.
"[snip TR getting monuments and plaques made for them]
at this point Cori can just have them burp rainbows and sparkles and make their armpits smell like roses and I won't even bat an eyelash"
Come to think of it, isn't all that Wiccan stuff the equivalent of that? :P
"and it just keeps going and going and going with more Wobbuffet masturbation"
Is THAT the reason for Wobbuffet's expression?!
*dodges rotten tomatoes*
"AND YET WHEN ASH AND OFFICER JENNY TRY TO STOP KNOWN CRIMINALS FROM BREAKING THE LAW AND BEING DICKBAGS, ASH GETS BEATEN UP OR INSULTED AND JENNY LOSES HER FUCKING JOB
THAT'S FAIR, CORI! THAT'S REEEEEEEAAALLL FAIR!"
YEP. WELCOME TO CORILAND.
"...oh God.
SHE JUST HAD TO GO THERE.
MEOWTH, YOU'VE CORRUPTED WOBBUFFET INTO A HUMANSEXUAL VOYUER
GAAAAAAAAH"
Yeeeeeah, the authorcam of 'OMGOSH J/J IS SO HAWT ^_^' goes horribly wrong when it's through a Pokemon's eyes, doesn't it?
"And HOW is having a Meowth and a Wobbuffet on top of a balloon not unsafe, Cori? Really?"
Because... because Coriphysics, that's why! Don't ask silly questions! :P
"(also screw her for trying to ruin the mile-high club concept in smutfic D: someone needs to write GOOD fic about an older Ash and Misty doing it on top of Charizard someday. Or even Jessie dominating James in the balloon)"
If you want extra hilarity, remember that it usually goes on for four hours. So they'll be incapacitated for that period of time.
Now, the two other possible pilots are ATOP THE BALLOON, so they aren't going to be able to do ANYTHING if anything suddenly goes wrong. Unless "NOT DIE" counts as something.
What happens if a sudden gust of wind picks up? ;D
"...over a day? REALLY? Jeez, and I thought some of the pairs I've written and RPed were horny little buggers. Over a WEEK I could understand, but a day? JEEZ."
I believe thees is called "sex addiction". Par excellence.
"CORI DID YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW GROSS THIS IS?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"
'OMGAWD JESSIE/JAMES ARE SO HAWT HOTTEST PEOPLE EVER MMM MM OMGAWD HAAAAAW-
'What do you mean, I shouldn't use a Wobbuffet as my mouthpiece?
'Why?
'What implications? I'd think Jessie/James sex is a very FORTUNATE implication!
'It's good for them to have a healthy sex life!
'Why are you backing away from me like that?
'Seriously, what am I doing wrong?
'...Huh. Weirdo. Well, nothing to be done about it, I guess! Time for me to write more hot four-hour true-love sex! :D'
"And does she even realize she wrote Meowth/Wobbuffet slash? XD I know it's gross considering the fic, but I find it hilarious. I almost wanna write totally serious Meowth/Wobbuffet slashy fluff...or rather, I would have back in the day where she was still batshit insane."
Do it anyway! Horrify your audiences in a whole NEW way! XD
"HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONGER THAN I REMEMBER. I mistakenly thought this was one of her SHORTER fics. @_@ And 34 counts of cursing? For a fic this long that seems small, but then I remember this is a POKEMON FIC."
It's actually her tenth-biggest/nineteenth-smallest (if I'm counting right) oneshot, which places it... around the middle of the pack. (I'm using http://sarajaye.superbusnet.com/Fanfics/Corific/?C=S;O=A , by the way.)
"A Hard Night's Work", "SEVEN SHADES OF RED", "Dark Reflection", "Stories for Supper", "A Bird in the Hand", "Heroic Hearts", "A Phony Matrimony", "To Extend Our Reach To The Stars Above", and "Never Too Late" are longer. *SHUDDER*
And yep, 34 counts of shit/crap/ass/damn. Apparently Team Rocket is full of incredible pottymouths who never at all swore in front of Ash and the others while the cameras were running. Who knew? :P
"You, madam, are braver than I am for taking this on."
It helps that I did a blind run, such that I had NO IDEA what sort of shit I was heading into past the fairly-innocuous 'Oh, Cori!TeamRocket is bitching again' start...Heh. Actually, I planned to only do another half of it before hiatus-ing the sporking again, but I said to myself, "Y' know what? If you can survive this thing all the way through, you can go download a Pokemon Blue ROM and try a Nuzlocke," and so I powered through and finished it. OI, I EARNED THAT REWARD. D: D8 @_@