To be fair, Jessie and James are canonically nutjobs who would forever be sniping one minute then snuggling the next. But in canon, it would be FUNNY. Because it'd be more like "YOU USED ALL THE HAIR SPRAY YOU JERK! /punt" "AIIIEE DON'T HIT ME hey wait YOU ARE THE LAST RICEBALL" 5 seconds later "ILU you're the only one pretty enough for me~" "me too Jess". Not this constant weepy melodrama that makes most shoujo manga of the 1970s look discreet. :P
Yes, but we're both agreed they're a wholly different type of melodramatic nutjob than those displayed here. And we're not expected to believe they have the Most Perfect And Pure Relationship Ever in canon. :P

Meowth: Hahaha, what a story, James.
James: Meowth? Shut up.
Meowth: I'm so happy I have you as my best friend!
James: You can say that again.
Meowth: I'm so happy I have you as my best friend!
James: ...o_o

But getting a haircut = losing mommy all over again? What?
HER HAIR IS HER MOTHER
IT ALL MAKES SENSE
...If one plans to end up on fandom_wank. :P

So basically this entire fic was one of the many fics in which Cori is working through her childhood traumas. I always thought so.
Fixed that for you. :P

I'm just surprised she didn't add a scene where the trio beat Misty into a bloody pulp for what she did! Then again, thank God for small favors.

She hadn't completely unhinged yet. If this had been written post-Break-From-Canon... Oi. Try Misty, Ash, AND Tracey.

...if Cori ever got into Bleach, she would latch onto Orihime so fucking hard because of HER backstory.
No doubt. As I said in my FE-Cori post, she would subject Nergal-and-family to a Never Too Late redux...

Also James's little story about his dad forcing him to get his head shaved? Turns out to be a lie later on. James made up an unhappy ending because he didn't want Jessie to feel so aloooooone in her suffering...and when he admits it to her, she doesn't kick his ass but is actually HAPPY the story had a happy ending!
WHAT?!
*FACEPALM*

...Tom, you managed to read that and NOT feel like puking your guts out or going off on a rant about how disgusting it all is? You're stronger than I am, buddy.
Hahaha, I can tell you wrote the comment before reading the later parts. X)

Even before the SJW craze set in, my head went all desky over her comparing the haircuts to rape. REALLY, CORI?!
*sigh* This is Cori Falls. The answer is always YA RLY.

LOL at Cori accidentally endorsing Yamushipping and Kokoshipping. XD
*snerk* She REALLY needed to pay more attention to her metaphors.

Actually, it'd be more IC for Meowth not to give a shit about Jessie and James's fucking hair. Them as people, yes, but their hair?
It would be more IC for NO ONE to give a shit about their hair after five minutes of weeping and moaning. But really, this is only the most hilariously insane of countless issues with Cori!Team Rocket period... :P

Think it applies to rape metaphors, too?
YES YES YES YES YES. Definitely.

And then I remember this is all over a few haircuts.

Sigh.
Sums up this fic perfectly, doesn't it? :P