Sep. 20th, 2013

guardians_song: Ninian from Fire Emblem, knocked down and getting up (not doing so well)

Let's Read: Carmilla [Interlude]

I've decided there's just no way I can handle the discussion of Chapter 7, due to dubcon [symbolism]. The interpretation I would be forced to use, by the Internet canon, is that Laura may be enjoying it but of course she doesn't want it, heavens no, and she's so very violated... And, well, the text does not support that interpretation. Therefore we will be discussing The Appeal of the Supernatural Dubcon Fantasy instead.

I'm sorry for skipping the discussion of Chapter 7. However, this discussion is intended to cover somewhat of what I would have said. )

...I don't care if that doesn't reflect Random Person #349's experiences. It's an observation. And it's not something that necessarily always appeals. Only if it hits the right cues, obviously.

At any rate, I think the Carmilla Let's Read will continue with Chapter 8. See you whenever that is!
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Aug. 28th, 2013

guardians_song: A slightly edited posterized version of King Zephiel from Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken. (Amused)


In the afterword to his book Maps in a Mirror, Scott Card writes, “Writers should not waste their time or talent trying to tell stories in someone else’s universe.” He then goes on to explain why it’s OK that he immediately went on to participate in an Isaac Asimov fanfic anthology because, “like all laws, this one can be circumvented if you work hard enough” and because he “had a compelling story of my own to tell.”


Surprisingly, a lot of Orson Scott Card's antics make sense if you think of him as a really pretentious BNF who often goes into fits of being a really pretentious drama-queen. A paranoid pretentious drama-queen with a peculiar obsession with THE GAYS WHO WILL DESTROY SOCIETY, mind. But I plan to spend more time mocking him than being angry at him, because sapping his credibility is more effective, long-term, than propping him up as the Great Homophobe Devil. (Besides, the latter only feeds his persecution complex. A charge of idiocy is far more offensive to - and effective against - certain personalities than a charge of moral wrongdoing.)

More in a bit... in the meantime, have Scott Lynch's parody of his version of Hamlet. Sadly... I tracked down a copy through Google Books, and yes, OSC!Hamlet is really THAT BAD. (I hate to say it, but overwhelmingly condemning it for homophobia is giving it too much credit. It implies that the rest of the story might have some merit, if not for that disgusting aspect. ...It is awfulness, I swear to gad.)
"We like chicks," yelled every man in Henry's army. "And only from the front, the way god intended!"
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Aug. 12th, 2013

guardians_song: A Fire Dragon from Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken. (Fury)


Happens loads and loads of times in Fan Fiction, where, because Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls, the usual genders are most frequently seen flipped, with the female getting double-teamed by the two hot male characters the fic writer can't choose between.
Dear TV Tropes: consider that OT3s are sometimes not a matter of "can't choose", but rather CHOOSES BOTH.
No love,
Guardian's Song
(And yaaaaaay, totally handwaving every fic where it's two OR MORE girls and a guy! I totally imagined all those Harem Fics on, guys!)

My apologies, but I've shifted over the years from automatically mocking the "fanbrats" to regarding the more "enlightened" fans with as much suspicion as their simpler counterparts. There's an awful damn lot of talking down to female fans when male fans are let off with a smile and a wink, for one.

I also note sullenly that the Rooting For The Empire page looks an awful lot like the Draco In Leather Pants page from the other side of the strawman. Take that as you will.
Though it does have at least one wonderful quote.
"[...] Twilight features the three tracker vampires who are trying to kill Bella, which is seen by some as a sympathetic aim. "

And this linked page ( has one very amusing quote:
"How would you react if the descendent of Charlemagne showed up in Paris today to claim kingship over France, bringing in the shroud of Turin as the evidence?"


TL;DR - TV Tropes is at its best when people aren't opining on things, since it's not exactly objective, despite all pretenses. Fortunately, I was mainly on TV Tropes to read through the Yandere page... :D Wish there were more examples of two-way yanderes, but I suppose one has to do that oneself.

Discussion of Bella and Edward, Fail!Yanderes (and briefly Alice, a not-so-fail!yandere...) )

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Jun. 25th, 2013

guardians_song: A crop from FE7's Arcadia CG showing Nergal and two villagers chatting over scrolls. (analytical)

Randomly - have an FST!

I have to update a Harry Potter fic of mine on AO3 one of these days, but to procrastinate get inspired, I ended up making a playlist themed around the (future) plot, so... Here goes?

...Yeah, can you tell this isn't a fluffy fic? :\ ;; )
So that I'm not just boring you guys - what songs do you associate with your stories?
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Jun. 13th, 2013

guardians_song: (Fire Emblem OTP)

Spork Commentary on (Thanfiction) Amy Player’s “Apology Letter”

Unkind? Perhaps. But as it recently went off the Web Archive – and had to be retrieved from screencaps – and I have a ScrapBook backup of the page, I figured now’s as good a time as any.
For the kind-hearted on my f-list, I would like to point out the following:
1 – Thanfiction is a master manipulator. In my politically-incorrect opinion, this is how he manages to get such a fanbase when he sets up shop in a fandom – if writing is, in part, selling your story to the reader, then whoo boy does he have an M.A. in selling stories. As such, if you get drawn in? That’s not because the truth is so compelling, it’s because he’s an expert in making it sound as compelling as possible. I’ll be unpacking his tricks as I go, but still. Do not suspend your disbelief.
2 – He’s known to incorporate elements from others’ stories. So if something rings true to you – does it ring true because it originated with him, or because he knew someone who’d actually gone through something similar very well?
3 – Most importantly in this poor-pitiful-repressed-FTM narrative – Thanfiction’s preferred targets are WELL-KNOWN to be vulnerable, naïve, and somewhat immature young women. And how is he presenting himself here? As a pooooor vulnerable, naïve, and somewhat immature young woman (who turned out to be a desperately angsty and troubled young man straight out of cliché fanfiction). Gee, what a coinkydink. Particularly when it comes to adding those lovely touches of authenticity to your seminal memoir of loss, lunacy, and self-discovery.

So if you say “there but for the grace of God go I” – noooo. And, I repeat, I’ll be explaining why as I go.

To Whom It May Concern
You have known me as Amy Player, as Strwriter, as Voyagerbabe, VB, Victoria Bitter, Mr. Frodo, and Jordan Wood.
I hear he’s leaving out “Merry Brandybuck” and “Orlando Bloom” from that list, at the very least…

*sporkity spork spork spork* )
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May. 23rd, 2013

guardians_song: A sprite edit of Nils from Fire Emblem, looking shocked: CHRISTMAS EDITION (Nils)

As promised, a description of the Woobiefied Villain Personality.

Disclaimer: No, you are not a bad person if you've ever written this. You are not a bad person if you are still writing this. You are not a bad person if you are completely unrepentant. You are not a bad person if you start using this as a serious guide to producing such fics bi-weekly. (In the last case, I can only be in awe of your work ethic.) The snark is not about bashing you or your writing, it's about mocking the formula. And to spare everyone paragraphs of redundant disclaimer, I'll just emphasize that Your Manacles May Vex, Your Manuals May Vaporize, and Your Mambas May Vituperate. All right?

We now commence the description...

[...] This looks really bizarre when characters veer between weeping soulfully over their tragic backstories and manically laughing while reducing their enemies to bloody heaps of organ-donor material [...] )
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May. 17th, 2013

guardians_song: A crop from FE7's Arcadia CG showing Nergal and two villagers chatting over scrolls. (analytical)

In brighter news...

I got around to watching the Nostalgia Critic Star Trek episodes!

Read more... )

As for non-Star-Trek films... Read more... )

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May. 7th, 2013

guardians_song: A sprite edit of Nils from Fire Emblem, looking shocked: CHRISTMAS EDITION (shock)

...Is there any context for a certain branch of SPN crack!fic?

I mean, I understand the rest.

But what did the poor yaks do to you, fandom?

-- Prophecy Categories
guardians_song: A sprite edit of Nils from Fire Emblem, looking shocked: CHRISTMAS EDITION (Nils)

ANCIENT meme yanked from Gehayi:

Yanked from gehayi : Take the first lines of your last ten stories and run each of them through Translation Party until they reach equilibrium, or until the program gives up on you. Post the results.

Yes, I last did this back in 2009.

The original lines are back here.
Incarnation of the legal edge naive justified slavery abolition of her final release: means any slaves. )

And now, since I already had 21 lines laid out, for a bonus round!

Associated with effective drunken driving missions often put the risk of multiple generations or weak one breast pain. )

And now, how about you?

(As a bonus bonus, given the theme of my journal:
Disturb not the harmony of Fire, Ice, or Lightning lest these three Titans wreck destruction upon the world in which they clash. Though the water's Great Guardian shall arise to quell the fighting alone its song will fail. Thus the Earth shall turn to ash. O, Chosen One, into thine hands bring together all three. Their treasures combined tame the beast of the sea.

3 These began operation non-destructive ice Titan Thunder doom, world harmony crash. To quell the fighting failed to cause a great guardian of the water just a song. Therefore, you must enable ash to Earth. O all brings together choice 3. Join the 飼いならします treasure mammal.

Don't you want to join the
飼いならします treasure mammal?)
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Apr. 13th, 2013

guardians_song: Ken Sugimori's concept art of the Pokemon starters, with the main characters and rival beside them. (kicking it oldschool)

Commentary on those sentences -

* Good GAD, am I pretentious.

* Apparently my main characters have an irritating amount of trust issues.

* 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 17, 19, and 21 all qualify as dark!fic. I think I'm mildly justified in joking about my being a one-note author. :P
** Again - that's everything but 5, 6, 11, 15, 16, and 20. Of those, 5 is shipping, 6 is humor, 11 and 20 may end up darkfics for everyone but the protagonists, the final line of 15 leads into canon darkness, and 16 is middling-dark commentary on canon. So only two of those are completely clean.

* 1, 5, 6, and 8 contain pairings as major plot points. 3, 7, 10, and 14 contain pairings as something relevant to the main characters. For the rest, pairings are incidental at best. ...I am really NOT much of a shipficcer, am I?

* 2, 5, 7, 11, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21 are AUs. Canon, whot iz dat? :P (That's nearly 2/3rds AUs, if you're wondering.)

*TL;DR: I write a lot of cynical, pretentious genfic/darkfic with alienated, emotionally-scarred main characters. ...Excellent. Now I just have to figure out a good originalfic plotline, and I'll take the angsty-teenager market by storm. >:D
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Mar. 28th, 2013

guardians_song: (celebration)

*painfully enthusiastic (mental) squeal*

All of the random generators you could ever need.

Comes with:

Fandom-Relevant Generator Index
Browse a list of popular fandoms to find generators relevant to your interests, be they Doctor Who, The Avengers, Sherlock, Dungeons & Dragons, or many, many more.

Worldbuilding-Relevant Generator Index
Browse a list of random generators useful for building worlds and cultures.

Name Generators
Names for characters, places, and more.

Human & Humanoid Character Generators
Profiles and descriptions for humans and things mostly resembling humans.

Non-Humanoid Character Generators
Profiles and descriptions for non-humanoid characters - eg, pets, dragons, etc.

Character Detail Generators
Bits and bobs like abilities and personal details.

Genre, Plot, & Story Prompt Generators
Plots for everything from short stories to novels.

Item & Artifact Generators
Generate fictional feelies and/or crafting and art ideas!

Costume & Wardrobe Generators
Clothing and fashion for your characters.

Location & Setting Generators
Places for your story to happen in.

Other Generators
Generators that don't warrant their own category yet.

Randomly-Chosen Random Generator
Let random chance take you to your destination!

Impossible/Impractical Random Generator Requests - And Where You Should Go Instead
Every now and then, I get someone looking for something that's really not doable because it's either too broad or too narrow, so I've created this page to help people find something that should suit their purposes.

Quick Character & OC Creation Kit
A page with links to the pages I use most when creating new characters, particularly OCs. Figured if I found it helpful, so would others.

Check it out! *pins as App Tab* *continues painfully enthusiastic (mental) squealing*

EDIT: Credit to [ profile] aikaterini for linking to an article elsewhere on that site that led me to that page.
"or maybe she's a deliciously frigid frost giant or a beautiful were-alpaca -"
It's worth a read.

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Mar. 4th, 2013

guardians_song: A sprite edit of Nils from Fire Emblem, looking shocked: CHRISTMAS EDITION (Nils)

Remind me how anyone can claim with a straight face that "Carmilla" is platonic?

"And you asked for the picture you think like me, to hang in your room," she murmured with a sigh, as she drew her arm closer about my waist, and let her pretty head sink upon my shoulder.

"How romantic you are, Carmilla," I said. "Whenever you tell me your story, it will be made up chiefly of some one great romance."

She kissed me silently.

"I am sure, Carmilla, you have been in love; that there is, at this moment, an affair of the heart going on."

"I have been in love with no one, and never shall," she whispered, "unless it should be with you."

Amusingly, Twilight is supposed to be about Edward being besotted with Bella, but is really just about the lusts of his vampiric stomach. Carmilla is supposed to be about the lusts of the title character's vampiric stomach, but, ah...

(I'm not really taking that quote out of context. Carmilla has no context. Carmilla needs no context.)

(It does both annoy and amuse me that there's apparently a debate as to whether Carmilla's... affections... are romantic or gustatory. Well, yes, she's a bleedin' vampire. Of course they're gustatory. But how in the neon-painted world you can consider that platonic is beyond me.

Admittedly, it appears that Carmilla falls head-over-heels in love with her latest meal as a matter of course, but that doesn't mean her besotted state isn't real...)
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Feb. 14th, 2013

guardians_song: Part of Fire Emblem 7's Chapter 19xx CG, colored (comfort)

Advertising this again...


C'mon, the prompts are free-for-all! I've even filled a few...
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Feb. 12th, 2013

guardians_song: Part of Fire Emblem 7's Chapter 19xx CG, colored (comfort)

In reasonably good news...

Amy Player/Victoria Bitter/Thanfiction's primary assistant/victim is living a happy life and has written about her experiences being manipulated by a wildly creative psychopath. Even fandom's most batshit stories can have a happy ending.
On that topic, have a highly detailed post on what makes a sick system.

In brighter news!

Newly identified natural protein blocks HIV, other deadly viruses

Genetically-engineered virus extends lives of terminally-ill liver cancer patients by eight months
Neuroprosthesis gives rats the ability to 'touch' infrared light

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Feb. 11th, 2013

guardians_song: Part of Fire Emblem 7's Chapter 19xx CG, colored (comfort)

Fannish 5: 5 Characters Or Couples You Wish Could Have Gotten A Happy/Happier Ending.

1. Wizardmon (Digimon)
2. The entire Nergal-Aenir-Ninian-Nils family, damnit Kishuna (Fire Emblem)
3. C!Syaoran & C!Sakura (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle)
4. Saturos & Menardi (Golden Sun) [really, all the Proxians deserved more recognition than they got...]
5. Padme Amidala (Star Wars prequels)*

*And by that, I mean that I wish she had received ANY sort of dignified ending. Anything other than being consigned to a role as a walking uterus, and being carelessly discarded by the plot once she had fulfilled that purpose. I don't even care about Padme, but that was just low.

I don't quite wish the Dumbledores had gotten a happier ending, because their angst is what fuels the whole thing. ...Okay, the same could be said of a certain mixed-species family in Fire Emblem, but the whole plot repeatedly kicks you in the heartstrings once you learn exactly what's going on... *sigh*

Anyway... now for yours? :D
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Feb. 10th, 2013

guardians_song: Icon depiction of the sporker Richard. (Default)

Made-up meme: Five Very Minor Characters You Care Far Too Much About

 1. [Black Burst Dragon] Michael (Legend of Dragoon)
 2. Generic characters that survive for too long (Any tactics game)
 3. Ariana Dumbledore (Harry Potter)
 4. Aenir (Fire Emblem 7)
 5. Marionette Bloom (Dragon Quest IX)

And if I went into detail on all the *mostly* minor characters I paid disproportionate attention to, we'd be here all day...
, -- Prophecy Categories
guardians_song: A slightly edited posterized version of King Zephiel from Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken. (Amused)

Fannish 5: Five Characters Who Would Totally Camp Outside A Store All Night Just To Get Sale Prices.

1. Farina (Fire Emblem 7) [You HAVE to ask?]
2. L'Arachel (Fire Emblem 8) [and she would drag Rennac along with her, too]
3. Team Rocket (Pokemon)
4. any Fortune Sim (The Sims 2)
5. Link (Majora's Mask)

...At least, mine did stuff like that when I was maxing out his wallet capacity... >_>

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Jan. 7th, 2013

guardians_song: A crop from FE7's Arcadia CG showing Nergal and two villagers chatting over scrolls. (analytical)

*irritably* Two complaints about "independent!intelligent!"Harry cliches.

Read more... )

...Why do I care, you ask? Because I'm sick to death of Ron-bashing over points that aren't even legitimate criticisms, but instead are made up out of whole cloth. I'm sick of authors acting as though acting holier-than-thou all the time will only leave the reprimanded peons cringing in fear, shame, and awe, rather than generating overwhelming fantasies to punch Saint [Character Of Author's Choice] in the teeth. I'm sick of arrogant, pompous, look-at-how-smart-I-am, hypocritical authors making out with their own reflections through the medium of fanfiction...

...And, sorry, I'm PMSy today. *shakes head* ...I don't ask much from - let's be frank - Gary-Stu!unrealistically-intelligent-and-cunning-to-the-max!Harry, manipulative!careless-enough-to-enable-a-child-to-cotton-on-to-his-schemes!Dumbledore fanfics. Just internal consistency, a complete absence of reams of bullshit made up from whole septic tanks, lack of overwhelming arrogance, and a Harry that doesn't trade one controlling megalomaniac of a Lord for another. That shouldn't be hard to fi-

Anyway, don't mind me, just ranting. :D;;
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Nov. 6th, 2012

guardians_song: GIF flashing up Japanese characters Shi, Kata, Ga, Na, I, then "It cannot be helped" in English (Shikata ga nai)

*drinks heavily* ...Lemonade, that is.

Well, that's Election Night 2012. 2 hours left to go, but no turnarounds are going to happen now, right?

Now, we may bid a farewell to news sites, a farewell to party propaganda, and a farewell to politics in general for the next four years. Or the next two, if we're talking about local elections.

So anyone want to talk about fandoms? Just a miscellaneous chat - Pokemon, Fire Emblem, Harry Potter, whatever. Your favorite game mechanics, your least favorite game mechanics, your least-liked plot devices, your most favored plot devices, etc.

Me? Right now, I'm thinking of continuing my playthrough of HHM, trying to decide which oneshot I should actually try to complete out of the ones I have open, and perhaps sporking another Cori Falls fic. (GAYEST. COSTUME. EVER. And I don't mean that in the derogatory sense, I mean that in the sense of "I thought they saved this sort of thing for Pride parades".) What are you guys thinking of?
-- Prophecy Categories

Oct. 22nd, 2012

guardians_song: Colored picture of Ariana Dumbledore's official art (Ariana Dumbledore)

So, Sarajayechan...

Where, if anywhere, was the wank in GBA FE fandom? I know about the grand Ship Wars, I know about the occasional flares of homophobia, and I know there was some bashing of female characters... any other trends? (Yes, I know about Gunlord, though I still don't know what he got in trouble for.) Characterization-wank, non-Gunlord-BNF-wank, which-game-was-best wank? :P

Just curious.
[And am I correct in saying the main console-FE wank was over the Ike/Soren versus Ike-het ship wars?]
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Oct. 9th, 2012

guardians_song: The adult Syaoran and Sakura from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle (TRC (het) OTP)

Bein' not much of a shipper...

I have to admit I'm surprised by the FE ship wars. Except if you question the holy Eliwood/Ninian, heretic. Let's completely ignore that I managed to get Eliwood/Hector A the first time around... XP;; More seriously - how exactly do you claim anything as canon when, by definition, all the ships given in support-conversations are canon? One-sided Ninian/Eliwood is canon regardless of Eliwood's interests, but whether Eliwood is more interested in her, Lyn, or Fiora is *chokes* entirely up to the player. Same goes for Hector/Lyn, Hector/Florina, Hector/Farina, or, hell, Hector/Lyn/Florina/Farina. The only question is whether it's Hector's harem or Lyn's.

Why fight over it? Just match up the appropriate supports in your OWN games and have at it.

FE7/FE8 ship-warriors are all spoiled, anyway. Used to be only Roy got to have ANY paired endings, and Ray/Sophia, Noah/Fir, and so on and so forth had to just rot away into dust. XP

I just find it silly that a game that allows you to choose your own "canon" ships attracts ship wars. I mean, a game or story with a fixed canon? That I could understand. If the fans, for some gadforsaken reason, wanted to ship Athos/Aenir or Nergal/Bramimond or some other unnatural and heretical pairing, I could understand ship wars - There Can Be Only One. But when any Arena chapter doubles as a dating sim? Hrooonk?
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guardians_song: Icon depiction of the sporker Richard. (Default)
Guardian's Song

December 2014




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