guardians_song (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guardians_song) wrote2013-06-11 09:57 pm
guardians_song) wrote2013-06-11 09:57 pm
Entry tags:
Meme-edy-meme, Code Veronica Edition
First, write down the names of 12 characters of your choice. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use. Otherwise where would the fun be?
1. Claire Redfield
2. Chris Redfield
3. Steve Burnside
4. Alfred Ashford
5. Alexia Ashford
6. Albert Wesker
7. Alexander Ashford
8. Leon Kennedy (honorable mention)
9. William Birkin (honorable mention)
10. Jill Valentine (honorable mention)
11. Manuela Hildago (vaguely honorable mention)
12. Ashley Graham (memetically LEON HAAAAALP mention)
Have you ever read a six (Wesker)/Eleven (Manuela) fic? Do you want to?
No, and I don't. Though I think there's probably been a Wesker/Everyone fic by this point, since he's the fandom Memetic Sex God and all.
Do you think 4 (Alfred) is hot? How hot?
...Noooooo. He's not really "hot" so much as "entertaining", and I probably wouldn't have an opinion beyond that on the character if not for the dynamic he has with Alexia.That, and said dynamic slots him tightly into the 'submissive, irrational, psychotically-dependent love interest' role that's normally reserved for 'romantic heroines', so he's an interesting subversion...
What would happen if Twelve (Ashley) got Eight (Leon) pregnant?
AHAHAHAHA
THE FANDOM WOULD KILL HER
THE FANDOM WOULD KILL HER
AND EVERYONE ELSE WOULD BE LAUGHING THEMSELVES SICK
DEAR GAD
THIS IS WONDERFUL
(Context: Leon, currently a secret agent, has to protect Ashley, the President's daughter, during a looooooong escort mission. Ashley is notorious for being not-so-easy-on-the-eyes, loud-mouthed, somewhat whiny (for good reason, admittedly), and, whenever an enemy picks her up:
LEON, HAAAAAAAAAAAALP!
LEON, HAAAAAAAAAAAALP!
LEON, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP!
She is not very-well-liked by RE4 players. And by "not very-well-liked", I mean "she doesn't have fans so much as she has people who didn't want to repeatedly slap her in the face".
Can you read any fic(s) about Nine (Birkin)?
*perks up* Oh, sure! ...Can't recommend any, though. Mostly there's a lot of Wesker/Birkin PWP.
Would Two (Chris) and Six (Wesker) be a good couple?
*LAUGHS LIKE A HYENA* NOT EVEN THEIR SHIPPERS WOULD SAY THAT
In all seriousness, they are a popular hatesex couple in the fandom due to Wesker's obsessive hatred for Chris and Chris's desire to take him down. It helps that they're both reasonably good-looking pre-RE5 and musclemen come RE5, so they manage to snag both the yaoi and the bara fanart.
...A good couple, though? No. Their main interactions in canon consist of shooting at each other, beating each other to a pulp, and screaming each others' names. ...Okay, when I put it like that, I understand why the fandom latches onto them. >_>
Five (Alexia)/Nine (Birkin) or Five (Alexia)/Ten (Jill).
...In canon, Birkin endlessly hates Alexia's guts, to the point where he's still raving about showing her up over a decade after her apparent demise. On the other hand, Jill's never met Alexia.
I vote for Alexia/Birkin solely because his sobbing from sheer rage would be entertaining. (If it helps you gauge it, he would be throwing more of a fit than the brony fandom does over Hasbro's various decisions.)
What would happen if Seven (Alexander) walked in on Two (Chris) and Twelve (Ashley) in bed together?
He'd botch it all up. Somehow. We're given to understand that the man was an in-universe memetic-fuckup.
If he tried to film them, he'd spill coffee on the camera. If he tried not to film them, he'd turn out to have left his cellphone on and be broadcasting to the entire Antarctic base. If he tried to blackmail them, he'd wind up accidentally confessing to that time he dressed up as a maid and made out with a pony dressed up like JFK. If he tried to exit politely, he'd end up crashing into the door and knocking it off its hinges for the butler and all the rest of the cleaning staff to see. If he tried to charge in and confront them, he'd slip on a banana peel.
Welcome to the glorious Ashford family!
Make up a summary for a Three (Steve)/Ten (Jill) fic.
...
...
...
...This meme has actually invented a new pairing.
*AHEM* All right. "While imprisoned by Wesker, Jill befriends another one of the mastermind's test subjects." If you want to get corny -
"While imprisoned by Wesker, Jill befriends another one of the mastermind's test subjects; can hope blossom even in the darkest of circumstances?"
Is there any such thing as One (Claire)/Eight (Leon) fluff?
BLEEPTONS OF IT.
See, the fandom does not like Leon's canon love interest (Ada Wong, mysterious spy with a cold demeanor) or Claire's canon love interest (Steve Burnside, whiny teenager who dies before he can fully get out of his character arc). Leon and Claire first appeared when they co-starred in Resident Evil 2, widely regarded as one of the best games in the series. They've also appeared together in CGI-movie sidestories to the series.
Ta-da, you have the fandom favorite ship for them both. (Chris and Jill, also co-stars in Resident Evil [and Resident Evil Revelations], get the same treatment. It helps that the series has never given Chris or Jill serious love interests.) Would you like to link you to the reams and reams of "Cleon" art, fanfiction, and AMVs, or...?
Suggest a title for a Seven (Alexander)/Twelve (Ashley) hurt/comfort fic.
"At Group Therapy For Fandom's Memetic Losers (AGTFFML)"
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Alfred) to deflower One (Claire)?
...This may be the only time I can utter the sentence "Mercifully, I can't see a noncon fic, because he's too obsessed with his sister".
My answers are:
1) High School AU!
2) Hardcore woobiefication*!
3) Well... okay. Speaking seriously here, I suppose that if he somehow managed to get stuck in the same cellblock as Claire during the zombie outbreak, he didn't start randomly blaming her for the outbreak and she didn't catch on that he was the local Umbrella commander, and they had nothing better to do during the entire 'don't get eaten by zombies' part of the game... maybe they could chat a bit and bond over their missing-sibling issues. And maybe if they accidentally got high off of medical supplies... and adrenaline convinced them that they didn't want to die as virgins...
...I can aaaalmost see this, but it would require driving Alfred heavily out of character via sheer stress-fueled breakdown, and he seemed to get hysterical, sadistic, and homicidal in response to any major stress placed upon him during the game... 180o around from what fuck-or-die/fuck,-we're-dying shipping needs. (Unless, of course, he's interacting with Alexia. Then he gets all worshipful and submissive...)
*Alfred has been spared from this fate, by and large, because the dimmer part of fandom is convinced that he's gay. And I don't mean "ooh, subtext~" gay, because he never actually interacts with a male character except to shoot at him, but rather "OMG LIEK HE'S SOOO GAY" gay. ...I say "the dimmer part" because yes, he is a giggling, high-pitched, melodramatic twit with a... unique... fashion sense, but the game also *ehem* strongly hints his one true love is his twin sister. To the point, in fact, that he goes above and beyond New Moon!Bella when deprived of her presence. So he's at least bisexual...
At any rate, because he comes off as more of the "screaming flamer" type than the "tragic soul" type of gay, the usual woobiefication fandom doesn't seem to latch onto him. Actually, I don't think RE has much of a woobiefication fandom towards the villains - probably because the games extensively beat you over the head with the horrors of the human experimentation that all the villains are conducting. Not that it's ever stopped fandom before, but...
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Alexander) slash?
Noooooooo. I don't even think there is any.
Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Steve) slash?
...With all due respect to Steve fans, I haven't interacted with any of them recently...
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Manuela)?
*blankly* Does she get more than the occasional token piece of fanart/fanfic? She only existed in one rail-shooter game...
Would anyone on your friends list write Two (Chris)/Four (Alfred)/Five (Alexia)?
...I am not really sure I want to imagine the circumstances in which Chris "/" Alfred/Alexia would occur. Alfred never interacts with Chris, and Alexia's only interactions with Chris are to attempt to kill him via immolation in retaliation for Alfred's death at the hands of Steve and Claire (who killed him in self-defense). And considering that Alexia and Alfred are canonically both conscienceless sadists, that the sole cutscene of them as children shows them looking lovingly at each other (and seemingly being about to kiss when the film reel cuts out) after tearing off a dragonfly's wings and feeding it to ants, and that they have it in for the Redfield siblings...
Yeah. I don't want to think too hard about the Ashford twins having a "threesome" with Chris. Mostly because I have this weird fetish about having all participants in a threesome ALIVE by the end of it. :D *scrubs brain and heads on to the next question*
What might Ten (Jill) scream at a moment of great passion?
In a one-on-one session? "I'LL MAKE YOU SEE S.T.A.R.S.!"
In a threesome? "I AM A JILL SANDWICH!!!"
*memetic mutation*
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Leon), which song would you choose?
At this point, Veteran of the Psychic Wars would probably be appropriate.
If you wrote a One (Claire)/Six (Wesker)/Twelve (Ashley) fic, what would the warnings be?
#"LEON HAAAALP" #crack #ooc #that is the first and last time I'm ever taking LSD #the fuck #what?
What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Chris) to use on Ten (Jill)?
"The fandom's been barking for it for over a decade. Let's satisfy 'em."
When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Alexia)?
...A few days ago? Actually, I'm supposed to be filling out 30 Day OTP Challenge for Alexia/Alfred... >_>
What is Six's (Wesker's) super-secret kink?
Sunglasses.
...He's a narcissist.
Would Eleven (Manuela) get in bed with Nine (Birkin)? Drunk or sober?
Heavily drunk. And then, in the morning, neither remembers WTF happened.
If Three (Steve) and Seven (Alexander) get together, who tops?
Pre-zombiefication, I'd say Alexander is absolutely shitty at whichever position gets chosen.
Post-zombieification... I don't know. Do tentacle-claws and poison gas trump super-juiced muscles and freakin' enormous axe?And if not, is mutant!Steve a power bottom?
Fill in the numbers of this sentence with the names:
"1. (Claire) and 9. (Birkin) are in a happy relationship until 9. (Birkin) suddenly runs off with 4. (Alfred). 1. (Claire), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11. (Manuela) and a brief unhappy affair with 12. (Ashley), then follows the wise advice of 5. (Alexia) and finds true love with 3. (Steve)."
*SPITTAKE* Alexia is advising Claire to find true love?! With Steve, no less? Hoooly sheet, hell has frozen over!
And why is Alfred screwing Birkin!? And... good gad, Claire/Manuela + Claire/Ashley is... pretty spectacular, considering that they've never met or been in circumstances where they would have met. That's not to mention that Claire's only interaction with Birkin was filling his hideously-twisted G-Virus forms with bullets, of course.
What title would you give this fic?
I Have Fucking Weird Dreams
Name three people on your friends list who might read it.
*morosely* Every Das Sporking member.
Name one person who should write it.
*pulls out vodka bottle and energy drinks* Brill, go take these and knock them all back within a half-hour interval, then look at the above summary and spew out whatever comes to mind. If you don't remember a word after you sober up, that's all right. If you can't figure out why allryeour typingew looks liek . thsi, that'as srall right.s, trust me.A/ If you're wondering why I would do such a thing to you - that's what friends are for, right? >:D
How would you feel if Seven (Alexander)/ Eight (Leon) was canon?
Post-zombiefication - eeeeee-yuck, I do NOT like zombie porn.
Pre-zombiefication... Alexander was last human in 1983. Leon was born in 1977. How about NO NO NO NO NO THANK YOU?
1. Claire Redfield
2. Chris Redfield
3. Steve Burnside
4. Alfred Ashford
5. Alexia Ashford
6. Albert Wesker
7. Alexander Ashford
8. Leon Kennedy (honorable mention)
9. William Birkin (honorable mention)
10. Jill Valentine (honorable mention)
11. Manuela Hildago (vaguely honorable mention)
12. Ashley Graham (memetically LEON HAAAAALP mention)
Have you ever read a six (Wesker)/Eleven (Manuela) fic? Do you want to?
No, and I don't. Though I think there's probably been a Wesker/Everyone fic by this point, since he's the fandom Memetic Sex God and all.
Do you think 4 (Alfred) is hot? How hot?
...Noooooo. He's not really "hot" so much as "entertaining", and I probably wouldn't have an opinion beyond that on the character if not for the dynamic he has with Alexia.
What would happen if Twelve (Ashley) got Eight (Leon) pregnant?
AHAHAHAHA
THE FANDOM WOULD KILL HER
THE FANDOM WOULD KILL HER
AND EVERYONE ELSE WOULD BE LAUGHING THEMSELVES SICK
DEAR GAD
THIS IS WONDERFUL
(Context: Leon, currently a secret agent, has to protect Ashley, the President's daughter, during a looooooong escort mission. Ashley is notorious for being not-so-easy-on-the-eyes, loud-mouthed, somewhat whiny (for good reason, admittedly), and, whenever an enemy picks her up:
LEON, HAAAAAAAAAAAALP!
LEON, HAAAAAAAAAAAALP!
LEON, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP!
She is not very-well-liked by RE4 players. And by "not very-well-liked", I mean "she doesn't have fans so much as she has people who didn't want to repeatedly slap her in the face".
Can you read any fic(s) about Nine (Birkin)?
*perks up* Oh, sure! ...Can't recommend any, though. Mostly there's a lot of Wesker/Birkin PWP.
Would Two (Chris) and Six (Wesker) be a good couple?
*LAUGHS LIKE A HYENA* NOT EVEN THEIR SHIPPERS WOULD SAY THAT
In all seriousness, they are a popular hatesex couple in the fandom due to Wesker's obsessive hatred for Chris and Chris's desire to take him down. It helps that they're both reasonably good-looking pre-RE5 and musclemen come RE5, so they manage to snag both the yaoi and the bara fanart.
...A good couple, though? No. Their main interactions in canon consist of shooting at each other, beating each other to a pulp, and screaming each others' names. ...Okay, when I put it like that, I understand why the fandom latches onto them. >_>
Five (Alexia)/Nine (Birkin) or Five (Alexia)/Ten (Jill).
...In canon, Birkin endlessly hates Alexia's guts, to the point where he's still raving about showing her up over a decade after her apparent demise. On the other hand, Jill's never met Alexia.
I vote for Alexia/Birkin solely because his sobbing from sheer rage would be entertaining. (If it helps you gauge it, he would be throwing more of a fit than the brony fandom does over Hasbro's various decisions.)
What would happen if Seven (Alexander) walked in on Two (Chris) and Twelve (Ashley) in bed together?
He'd botch it all up. Somehow. We're given to understand that the man was an in-universe memetic-fuckup.
If he tried to film them, he'd spill coffee on the camera. If he tried not to film them, he'd turn out to have left his cellphone on and be broadcasting to the entire Antarctic base. If he tried to blackmail them, he'd wind up accidentally confessing to that time he dressed up as a maid and made out with a pony dressed up like JFK. If he tried to exit politely, he'd end up crashing into the door and knocking it off its hinges for the butler and all the rest of the cleaning staff to see. If he tried to charge in and confront them, he'd slip on a banana peel.
Welcome to the glorious Ashford family!
Make up a summary for a Three (Steve)/Ten (Jill) fic.
...
...
...
...This meme has actually invented a new pairing.
*AHEM* All right. "While imprisoned by Wesker, Jill befriends another one of the mastermind's test subjects." If you want to get corny -
"While imprisoned by Wesker, Jill befriends another one of the mastermind's test subjects; can hope blossom even in the darkest of circumstances?"
Is there any such thing as One (Claire)/Eight (Leon) fluff?
BLEEPTONS OF IT.
See, the fandom does not like Leon's canon love interest (Ada Wong, mysterious spy with a cold demeanor) or Claire's canon love interest (Steve Burnside, whiny teenager who dies before he can fully get out of his character arc). Leon and Claire first appeared when they co-starred in Resident Evil 2, widely regarded as one of the best games in the series. They've also appeared together in CGI-movie sidestories to the series.
Ta-da, you have the fandom favorite ship for them both. (Chris and Jill, also co-stars in Resident Evil [and Resident Evil Revelations], get the same treatment. It helps that the series has never given Chris or Jill serious love interests.) Would you like to link you to the reams and reams of "Cleon" art, fanfiction, and AMVs, or...?
Suggest a title for a Seven (Alexander)/Twelve (Ashley) hurt/comfort fic.
"At Group Therapy For Fandom's Memetic Losers (AGTFFML)"
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Alfred) to deflower One (Claire)?
...This may be the only time I can utter the sentence "Mercifully, I can't see a noncon fic, because he's too obsessed with his sister".
My answers are:
1) High School AU!
2) Hardcore woobiefication*!
3) Well... okay. Speaking seriously here, I suppose that if he somehow managed to get stuck in the same cellblock as Claire during the zombie outbreak, he didn't start randomly blaming her for the outbreak and she didn't catch on that he was the local Umbrella commander, and they had nothing better to do during the entire 'don't get eaten by zombies' part of the game... maybe they could chat a bit and bond over their missing-sibling issues. And maybe if they accidentally got high off of medical supplies... and adrenaline convinced them that they didn't want to die as virgins...
...I can aaaalmost see this, but it would require driving Alfred heavily out of character via sheer stress-fueled breakdown, and he seemed to get hysterical, sadistic, and homicidal in response to any major stress placed upon him during the game... 180o around from what fuck-or-die/fuck,-we're-dying shipping needs. (Unless, of course, he's interacting with Alexia. Then he gets all worshipful and submissive...)
*Alfred has been spared from this fate, by and large, because the dimmer part of fandom is convinced that he's gay. And I don't mean "ooh, subtext~" gay, because he never actually interacts with a male character except to shoot at him, but rather "OMG LIEK HE'S SOOO GAY" gay. ...I say "the dimmer part" because yes, he is a giggling, high-pitched, melodramatic twit with a... unique... fashion sense, but the game also *ehem* strongly hints his one true love is his twin sister. To the point, in fact, that he goes above and beyond New Moon!Bella when deprived of her presence. So he's at least bisexual...
At any rate, because he comes off as more of the "screaming flamer" type than the "tragic soul" type of gay, the usual woobiefication fandom doesn't seem to latch onto him. Actually, I don't think RE has much of a woobiefication fandom towards the villains - probably because the games extensively beat you over the head with the horrors of the human experimentation that all the villains are conducting. Not that it's ever stopped fandom before, but...
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Alexander) slash?
Noooooooo. I don't even think there is any.
Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Steve) slash?
...With all due respect to Steve fans, I haven't interacted with any of them recently...
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Manuela)?
*blankly* Does she get more than the occasional token piece of fanart/fanfic? She only existed in one rail-shooter game...
Would anyone on your friends list write Two (Chris)/Four (Alfred)/Five (Alexia)?
...I am not really sure I want to imagine the circumstances in which Chris "/" Alfred/Alexia would occur. Alfred never interacts with Chris, and Alexia's only interactions with Chris are to attempt to kill him via immolation in retaliation for Alfred's death at the hands of Steve and Claire (who killed him in self-defense). And considering that Alexia and Alfred are canonically both conscienceless sadists, that the sole cutscene of them as children shows them looking lovingly at each other (and seemingly being about to kiss when the film reel cuts out) after tearing off a dragonfly's wings and feeding it to ants, and that they have it in for the Redfield siblings...
Yeah. I don't want to think too hard about the Ashford twins having a "threesome" with Chris. Mostly because I have this weird fetish about having all participants in a threesome ALIVE by the end of it. :D *scrubs brain and heads on to the next question*
What might Ten (Jill) scream at a moment of great passion?
In a one-on-one session? "I'LL MAKE YOU SEE S.T.A.R.S.!"
In a threesome? "I AM A JILL SANDWICH!!!"
*memetic mutation*
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Leon), which song would you choose?
At this point, Veteran of the Psychic Wars would probably be appropriate.
If you wrote a One (Claire)/Six (Wesker)/Twelve (Ashley) fic, what would the warnings be?
#"LEON HAAAALP" #crack #ooc #that is the first and last time I'm ever taking LSD #the fuck #what?
What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Chris) to use on Ten (Jill)?
"The fandom's been barking for it for over a decade. Let's satisfy 'em."
When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Alexia)?
...A few days ago? Actually, I'm supposed to be filling out 30 Day OTP Challenge for Alexia/Alfred... >_>
What is Six's (Wesker's) super-secret kink?
Sunglasses.
...He's a narcissist.
Would Eleven (Manuela) get in bed with Nine (Birkin)? Drunk or sober?
Heavily drunk. And then, in the morning, neither remembers WTF happened.
If Three (Steve) and Seven (Alexander) get together, who tops?
Pre-zombiefication, I'd say Alexander is absolutely shitty at whichever position gets chosen.
Post-zombieification... I don't know. Do tentacle-claws and poison gas trump super-juiced muscles and freakin' enormous axe?
Fill in the numbers of this sentence with the names:
"1. (Claire) and 9. (Birkin) are in a happy relationship until 9. (Birkin) suddenly runs off with 4. (Alfred). 1. (Claire), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11. (Manuela) and a brief unhappy affair with 12. (Ashley), then follows the wise advice of 5. (Alexia) and finds true love with 3. (Steve)."
*SPITTAKE* Alexia is advising Claire to find true love?! With Steve, no less? Hoooly sheet, hell has frozen over!
And why is Alfred screwing Birkin!? And... good gad, Claire/Manuela + Claire/Ashley is... pretty spectacular, considering that they've never met or been in circumstances where they would have met. That's not to mention that Claire's only interaction with Birkin was filling his hideously-twisted G-Virus forms with bullets, of course.
What title would you give this fic?
I Have Fucking Weird Dreams
Name three people on your friends list who might read it.
*morosely* Every Das Sporking member.
Name one person who should write it.
*pulls out vodka bottle and energy drinks* Brill, go take these and knock them all back within a half-hour interval, then look at the above summary and spew out whatever comes to mind. If you don't remember a word after you sober up, that's all right. If you can't figure out why allryeour typingew looks liek . thsi, that'as srall right.s, trust me.A/ If you're wondering why I would do such a thing to you - that's what friends are for, right? >:D
How would you feel if Seven (Alexander)/ Eight (Leon) was canon?
Post-zombiefication - eeeeee-yuck, I do NOT like zombie porn.
Pre-zombiefication... Alexander was last human in 1983. Leon was born in 1977. How about NO NO NO NO NO THANK YOU?