guardians_song (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guardians_song) wrote2013-09-08 02:06 am
guardians_song) wrote2013-09-08 02:06 am
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Okay, so I have now read the navelfucking fic in more detail.
...Morbid curiosity compelled me.
I advise strongly against a sporking. It gets highly repetitive and filler-packed later on, so any sporkers would likely pass out from tedium midway through Domestic Fluff Scene #304921 or Sex Scene #580312. Yes, even WITH the caveat that some of those sex scenes would be navelfucking - the human mind can begin to find even navelfucking a bit drab after a while.
UNTIL YOU REALIZE THAT YOU JUST TYPED OUT THAT NAVELFUCKING GOT A BIT DRAB
FFS, THIS IS THE FUCKING NAVELNOMICON
YOU LOSE YOUR SANITY AND DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT
*ahem* Anyway, it's also a... looooot like the Omegaverse. I think it had no influence upon that fan cliche, so it's interesting to see the parallel evolution. There's the deus-ex-fuckina pheromones, there's the bodice-ripper dynamics, there's the MPreg, there's the irresistible compulsion for MPreg (yes, REALLY), there's the rigid everything-old-is-new-again gender roles, there's the self-lubricating orifices, there's the...
Ooooookay. I will admit. There are not the navelginas.
I'm sorry, I just cannot get over that. I actually just did a Google search for "navel" so that I could determine if I was missing something, and no, I really cannot see anyone getting the idea to fuck somebody in the navel. Oh, sweet gad, I take it back. THE HAYS CODE ACTUALLY BANNED NAVEL EXPOSURE BECAUSE IT -
SERIOUSLY -
...You know, I do not like to throw the charge of "you need to get LAID" at censors, because I really don't think getting laid affects anything of importance, but - if you have trouble telling the difference between navels and that - yes, you really DO need to get laid! Badly! With all the lights on! And body parts carefully labeled! And a detailed explanation of the female human reproductive anatomy provided afterwards!
I GIVE UP. REALITY IS WEIRDER THAN A NAVELFUCKING FIC.
WILL UN-GIVE-UP WHEN I CAN STOP SOBBING WITH LAUGHTER
CAN'T MAKE THIS UP
JUST CAN'T FUCKING MAKE THIS UP
I advise strongly against a sporking. It gets highly repetitive and filler-packed later on, so any sporkers would likely pass out from tedium midway through Domestic Fluff Scene #304921 or Sex Scene #580312. Yes, even WITH the caveat that some of those sex scenes would be navelfucking - the human mind can begin to find even navelfucking a bit drab after a while.
UNTIL YOU REALIZE THAT YOU JUST TYPED OUT THAT NAVELFUCKING GOT A BIT DRAB
FFS, THIS IS THE FUCKING NAVELNOMICON
YOU LOSE YOUR SANITY AND DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT
*ahem* Anyway, it's also a... looooot like the Omegaverse. I think it had no influence upon that fan cliche, so it's interesting to see the parallel evolution. There's the deus-ex-fuckina pheromones, there's the bodice-ripper dynamics, there's the MPreg, there's the irresistible compulsion for MPreg (yes, REALLY), there's the rigid everything-old-is-new-again gender roles, there's the self-lubricating orifices, there's the...
Ooooookay. I will admit. There are not the navelginas.
I'm sorry, I just cannot get over that. I actually just did a Google search for "navel" so that I could determine if I was missing something, and no, I really cannot see anyone getting the idea to fuck somebody in the navel. Oh, sweet gad, I take it back. THE HAYS CODE ACTUALLY BANNED NAVEL EXPOSURE BECAUSE IT -
SERIOUSLY -
...You know, I do not like to throw the charge of "you need to get LAID" at censors, because I really don't think getting laid affects anything of importance, but - if you have trouble telling the difference between navels and that - yes, you really DO need to get laid! Badly! With all the lights on! And body parts carefully labeled! And a detailed explanation of the female human reproductive anatomy provided afterwards!
I GIVE UP. REALITY IS WEIRDER THAN A NAVELFUCKING FIC.
WILL UN-GIVE-UP WHEN I CAN STOP SOBBING WITH LAUGHTER
CAN'T MAKE THIS UP
JUST CAN'T FUCKING MAKE THIS UP
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(I've never seen one either, but I'm sure I could scrounge up repressed memories from my days of binging on Encyclopedia Dramatica.)
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