Guardian's Song: *sourly* I left that unsporked so you can see Cori Falls's tendency to reeeeally take her tiiiime with food scenes. And the thing is? Those get WORSE after the Break From Canon!
But see, she HAS to because poor Team Rocket are staaaaarving!! We have to make absolutely sure they eat and get the bestest foods ever!
Oh, god. Don't tell me he's still here.... I said to myself. Tom: Oh Articuno, Zapdos, an' Moltres, don't tell me we need MORE Ash-bashin'. Jerry: *sourly* You even have to wonder, at this point?
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
[Ash bashing bullshit]
And then Ash snapped and turned into a male Noire before using Cori!TR as his archery practice targets. No? Damn.
Once he was finished, the two of us high-fived. Tom: I wanna "high-five" 'em with a Doubleslap. Jerry: It wasn't even a good cursing spree!
Oh God, now they're acting like immature middle school boys who think they did the cutest cleverest toughest thing ever because they called a girl fat and made her cry. Cori's TR is doing the equivalent of peeing their name in the snow then acting like they created a work of art!
...oh, yeah, this is also the one where Misty breaks off her "secret friendship" with TR because she doesn't publicly kiss their boots. D: "Friends never criticize friends" is a stupid "rule" anyway. I mean, okay, no one LIKES to be criticized but not all criticism is meant to be mean. It's a word that SOUNDS harsh, and some people would rather call it guidance, but I feel like true friends will just plain be HONEST with you. If they honestly have no issues or things they feel they need to poke you about, that's fine. If they feel the need to remind you to kick certain bad habits or cultivate better ones, that's fine too.
Ash smirked. "I'm just glad you guys finally realized how evil and rotten Team Rocket really is and ran them out of town!" he said. "I can't believe everybody actually thought they were nice! That's a laugh!"
Misty: Didn't they save your life once? Ash: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for them always trying to steal my best non-human friend! Misty: ...good point.
STOP CURSING TEAM ROCKET YOU'RE MAKING ANDREW DICE CLAY LOOK LIKE A PRUDE.
"GRRR!!! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?!?!?!" Ash demanded. "DIDN'T YOU CAUSE ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY?!"
Brock: MR. BURNS IS CAUSING US ALL TO YELL! Misty: That's it, I'm throwing out the capslock button as soon as we get to a place with a trash can.
And ugh, the usual "Bad Ash, stop talking smack, Team Rocket are very nice people and you're a bad boy for not loving them and kissing the ground they walk on!" crap.
Aaand Ash's Pokemon side against him, as if Cori really needed to drive the point home that Everybody Hates Ash and Team Rocket Is Pure And Right. Great.
Pikachu frowned and flattened his ears. "Pikaaa?
Pikachu: (Oh no, don't tell me they replaced MY trainer with this OOC King Gangrel wannabe.)
*meanwhile*
Gangrel: EMMERYN! Let's have a Pokemon battle! :D Emmeryn: ...um. What are you talking about? Chrom: He's drunk, let's go back to Ylisstol. Gangrel: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT! D:
And, um, I get that Pokemon tries to use the "there are no bad Pokemon, just bad trainers" logic, but Pokemon DO have minds of their own. When they attack TR, they're being loyal to their trainer and fellow teammates. Pikachu is THEIR friend, too.
It's about friggin' time those other twerps called Ash on what a jerk he is! I said as I watched the exchange.
Yay, Callout Culture! Never used when it's actually necessary (Jessie, James and Meowth ROBBING PEOPLE) and always used when it's not (Ash not trusting the people who TRY TO ROB HIM ON A DAILY BASIS).
[the horrible melodrama of Ash throwing a rock at James]
Really? REALLY?! God, did Cori get things thrown at her a lot when she was a kid? Cause she always makes it sound like a fucking trauma. "Wah! Those kids almost hit me with a rock!" "Eep! A little plastic cheeseburger whizzed by my ear!" *shakes head*
"And if you ask me, they EARNED that food! There was nothing pretend about the way they saved our festival -- it was an act of true heroism!"
IF SHE REALLY THOUGHT SO WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST GIVE IT TO THEM INSTEAD OF THEM HAVING TO STEAL IT?! Oh, right, ~dramaaaaa~.
[rant on empathy trolling]
That's a good name for it. And I hate it, too, so fucking much. "Whaddaya MEAN you don't think my babies are precious lambs of Jesus?! YOU MUST BE A MONSTER WITH NO HEART OR SOUL!!". Fandom in general often does this, too, when they put in examples for The Woobie or Tear Jerker on TVTropes they'll say "if you didn't sob helplessly when X thing happened, you have no soul" or "if you don't want to give Y character a big hug, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Guardian's Song: Because you're just using lofty ideals and soft, smiling words to tell him that he's a soulless, retarded waste of air who makes the lives of those around him worse just by existing.
It's a mercy that Cori!Ash is too "dumb" to realize what you're trying to say. It's a mercy.
If he could, he would be in therapy forever for constant guilt complexes and self-loathing for shit he never did wrong.
God, if I didn't wanna read your sporking comments I'd just skip through the whole part. We get it, Cori, Ash is an unrepentant shitweasel of a turd-shit-fucker-fucktard-bitchcake-cowfucker-asshole-bastard-shit-heel-dickfart with no soul because he has the fucking cheek to distrust the people who rob him on a daily basis and deserves to be put in his place by your Author Avatar who is good and right and loves Team Rocket for who they are Inside.
So I'll just point out that she's not even talking to him any more. She's just slowly stroking herself while fantasizing about what a worthless, lying, deluded shit he is, and how saintly she is for being so much better than he is. And, if Cori!Ash wasn't so dense that it bounced off his skull (thank heavens), he'd come to believe it.
It's wrong to do that to a child. I don't care how righteous you think you are. It's wrong.
Preeeeetty much.
Guardian's Song: Yeah, I'm sure this is very funny if you haven't received the same treatment in real life. Oh, we're so ~righteous~. We're so righteous that we get off on telling a ten-year-old that he's a nasty, spiteful person who shouldn't be allowed near decent people. Oh, and, as a bonus, that he's too retarded to understand How Things Are, so he'll just have to take it on faith if he doesn't want to be told what an evil little shit he is again.
Oh, yes, Cori. Tell me again how much your characters are good, noble people who despise cruelty, unfairness, and lording it over those weaker than you.
Suddenly I'm glad I made Essie so unrepentantly unsympathetic. Because otherwise her behavior would trigger genuine rage from the people behind the socks instead of hilarity when she got what was coming to her.
I'm sorry for the way Ash acted just now -- it was completely uncalled for. I honestly don't know what got into him. I know he hates you guys, but he's not normally like this...."
Brock: I think he got into the OOC crack again. They need to stop making it look like candy. Misty: *running around with a Pidgey on her head* I AM MISTY THE MOLTRES! Brock: ...yeah, I'm gonna have a talk with those people. In fact they need to stop making it all together.
Aaand now Misty gets Called Out. Yay.
"That's different," James told her. "Jessie, Meowth, and I can get away with teasing each other because we're close, and we know it's all in good fun."
...really? Because last time I checked Cori thought comic relief teasing was Very Mean and felt the need to use her fics to make it into a big deal so they could have sobby apology sessions.
"And when we say or do something that really is hurtful, we don't just apologize -- we make a real effort to work through it and make things better." Jerry: (James) So we can crash right back into an emotional breakdown in the next fic! :D
Well said, well said.
Tom: (Misty) I'll stop keeping up the APPEARANCE, then. *slaps them all and rides off on Starmie before they can retaliate*
Jessie: Waaaaaaait! Misty: *turns around* Yeah? What is it? Jessie: You owe me five bucks! Misty: Screw you. *continues riding away. Jessie: #$%&^%&ING TWERP.
Aaand of course the Secret Friendship is ~over~ and it's so sad and dramatic and I actually feel sorry for Misty. She's the one who tried to be the bigger person by giving KNOWN CRIMINALS a chance, and when she didn't kiss their asses all the time they gave her a lecture.
And there's still more left, isn't there. D: Now I remember why I never re-read this thing. It's not the first time Cori's tried to emotionally manipulate her readers, but this is just a huge author tract from the mouth of an OOC blue blob about Why Team Rocket Is Good People And Ash And Misty Are Mean.
Re: damn character limits
But see, she HAS to because poor Team Rocket are staaaaarving!! We have to make absolutely sure they eat and get the bestest foods ever!
Oh, god. Don't tell me he's still here.... I said to myself.
Tom: Oh Articuno, Zapdos, an' Moltres, don't tell me we need MORE Ash-bashin'.
Jerry: *sourly* You even have to wonder, at this point?
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
[Ash bashing bullshit]
And then Ash snapped and turned into a male Noire before using Cori!TR as his archery practice targets. No? Damn.
Once he was finished, the two of us high-fived.
Tom: I wanna "high-five" 'em with a Doubleslap.
Jerry: It wasn't even a good cursing spree!
Oh God, now they're acting like immature middle school boys who think they did the cutest cleverest toughest thing ever because they called a girl fat and made her cry. Cori's TR is doing the equivalent of peeing their name in the snow then acting like they created a work of art!
...oh, yeah, this is also the one where Misty breaks off her "secret friendship" with TR because she doesn't publicly kiss their boots. D: "Friends never criticize friends" is a stupid "rule" anyway. I mean, okay, no one LIKES to be criticized but not all criticism is meant to be mean. It's a word that SOUNDS harsh, and some people would rather call it guidance, but I feel like true friends will just plain be HONEST with you. If they honestly have no issues or things they feel they need to poke you about, that's fine. If they feel the need to remind you to kick certain bad habits or cultivate better ones, that's fine too.
Ash smirked. "I'm just glad you guys finally realized how evil and rotten Team
Rocket really is and ran them out of town!" he said. "I can't believe everybody
actually thought they were nice! That's a laugh!"
Misty: Didn't they save your life once?
Ash: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for them always trying to steal my best non-human friend!
Misty: ...good point.
STOP CURSING TEAM ROCKET YOU'RE MAKING ANDREW DICE CLAY LOOK LIKE A PRUDE.
"GRRR!!! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?!?!?!" Ash demanded. "DIDN'T YOU CAUSE
ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY?!"
Brock: MR. BURNS IS CAUSING US ALL TO YELL!
Misty: That's it, I'm throwing out the capslock button as soon as we get to a place with a trash can.
And ugh, the usual "Bad Ash, stop talking smack, Team Rocket are very nice people and you're a bad boy for not loving them and kissing the ground they walk on!" crap.
Aaand Ash's Pokemon side against him, as if Cori really needed to drive the point home that Everybody Hates Ash and Team Rocket Is Pure And Right. Great.
Pikachu frowned and flattened his ears. "Pikaaa?
Pikachu: (Oh no, don't tell me they replaced MY trainer with this OOC King Gangrel wannabe.)
*meanwhile*
Gangrel: EMMERYN! Let's have a Pokemon battle! :D
Emmeryn: ...um. What are you talking about?
Chrom: He's drunk, let's go back to Ylisstol.
Gangrel: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT! D:
And, um, I get that Pokemon tries to use the "there are no bad Pokemon, just bad trainers" logic, but Pokemon DO have minds of their own. When they attack TR, they're being loyal to their trainer and fellow teammates. Pikachu is THEIR friend, too.
It's about friggin' time those other twerps called Ash on what a jerk he is! I
said as I watched the exchange.
Yay, Callout Culture! Never used when it's actually necessary (Jessie, James and Meowth ROBBING PEOPLE) and always used when it's not (Ash not trusting the people who TRY TO ROB HIM ON A DAILY BASIS).
[the horrible melodrama of Ash throwing a rock at James]
Really? REALLY?! God, did Cori get things thrown at her a lot when she was a kid? Cause she always makes it sound like a fucking trauma. "Wah! Those kids almost hit me with a rock!" "Eep! A little plastic cheeseburger whizzed by my ear!" *shakes head*
"And if
you ask me, they EARNED that food! There was nothing pretend about the way they
saved our festival -- it was an act of true heroism!"
IF SHE REALLY THOUGHT SO WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST GIVE IT TO THEM INSTEAD OF THEM HAVING TO STEAL IT?! Oh, right, ~dramaaaaa~.
[rant on empathy trolling]
That's a good name for it. And I hate it, too, so fucking much. "Whaddaya MEAN you don't think my babies are precious lambs of Jesus?! YOU MUST BE A MONSTER WITH NO HEART OR SOUL!!". Fandom in general often does this, too, when they put in examples for The Woobie or Tear Jerker on TVTropes they'll say "if you didn't sob helplessly when X thing happened, you have no soul" or "if you don't want to give Y character a big hug, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Guardian's Song: Because you're just using lofty ideals and soft, smiling words to tell him that he's a soulless, retarded waste of air who makes the lives of those around him worse just by existing.
It's a mercy that Cori!Ash is too "dumb" to realize what you're trying to say. It's a mercy.
If he could, he would be in therapy forever for constant guilt complexes and self-loathing for shit he never did wrong.
God, if I didn't wanna read your sporking comments I'd just skip through the whole part. We get it, Cori, Ash is an unrepentant shitweasel of a turd-shit-fucker-fucktard-bitchcake-cowfucker-asshole-bastard-shit-heel-dickfart with no soul because he has the fucking cheek to distrust the people who rob him on a daily basis and deserves to be put in his place by your Author Avatar who is good and right and loves Team Rocket for who they are Inside.
So I'll just point out that she's not even talking to him any more. She's just slowly stroking herself while fantasizing about what a worthless, lying, deluded shit he is, and how saintly she is for being so much better than he is. And, if Cori!Ash wasn't so dense that it bounced off his skull (thank heavens), he'd come to believe it.
It's wrong to do that to a child. I don't care how righteous you think you are. It's wrong.
Preeeeetty much.
Guardian's Song: Yeah, I'm sure this is very funny if you haven't received the same treatment in real life. Oh, we're so ~righteous~. We're so righteous that we get off on telling a ten-year-old that he's a nasty, spiteful person who shouldn't be allowed near decent people. Oh, and, as a bonus, that he's too retarded to understand How Things Are, so he'll just have to take it on faith if he doesn't want to be told what an evil little shit he is again.
Oh, yes, Cori. Tell me again how much your characters are good, noble people who despise cruelty, unfairness, and lording it over those weaker than you.
Suddenly I'm glad I made Essie so unrepentantly unsympathetic. Because otherwise her behavior would trigger genuine rage from the people behind the socks instead of hilarity when she got what was coming to her.
I'm sorry for the way Ash
acted just now -- it was completely uncalled for. I honestly don't know what got
into him. I know he hates you guys, but he's not normally like this...."
Brock: I think he got into the OOC crack again. They need to stop making it look like candy.
Misty: *running around with a Pidgey on her head* I AM MISTY THE MOLTRES!
Brock: ...yeah, I'm gonna have a talk with those people. In fact they need to stop making it all together.
Aaand now Misty gets Called Out. Yay.
"That's different," James told her. "Jessie, Meowth, and I can get away with
teasing each other because we're close, and we know it's all in good fun."
...really? Because last time I checked Cori thought comic relief teasing was Very Mean and felt the need to use her fics to make it into a big deal so they could have sobby apology sessions.
"And when we say or do something that really is
hurtful, we don't just apologize -- we make a real effort to work through it and
make things better."
Jerry: (James) So we can crash right back into an emotional breakdown in the next fic! :D
Well said, well said.
Tom: (Misty) I'll stop keeping up the APPEARANCE, then. *slaps them all and rides off on Starmie before they can retaliate*
Jessie: Waaaaaaait!
Misty: *turns around* Yeah? What is it?
Jessie: You owe me five bucks!
Misty: Screw you. *continues riding away.
Jessie: #$%&^%&ING TWERP.
Aaand of course the Secret Friendship is ~over~ and it's so sad and dramatic and I actually feel sorry for Misty. She's the one who tried to be the bigger person by giving KNOWN CRIMINALS a chance, and when she didn't kiss their asses all the time they gave her a lecture.
And there's still more left, isn't there. D: Now I remember why I never re-read this thing. It's not the first time Cori's tried to emotionally manipulate her readers, but this is just a huge author tract from the mouth of an OOC blue blob about Why Team Rocket Is Good People And Ash And Misty Are Mean.