I... actually love "The Rape of the Lock." When I was fifteen or sixteen years old my mother and I acted it out with a group of her old friends at a conference at Georgetown University, and it was so much fun. But we were all aware that it was meant to be a joke. Presumably Cori should be too, if she's an English major!

Yeah, I really don't get why Cori decided comparing involuntary haircuts to rape unironically was a good idea. I mean, I know that people who have traumas or psychological issues in general can get triggered by things you wouldn't expect, but not only is it incredibly melodramatic to insist that getting your hair cut without your consent is like rape, but it also diminishes the trauma of rape by comparing it to something so (objectively) trivial. This is why you shouldn't bring up real-life traumas or disorders in your fiction unless they're really relevant!