guardians_song (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guardians_song) wrote2013-04-30 01:25 am
guardians_song) wrote2013-04-30 01:25 am
Entry tags:
New Year's Resolutions Update:
1. I'm going to STUDY. Heck, I'm not just going to study school - I'm going to jump in ALL the holes! study whatever I get my hands on.
This has been... sort of going well. I've done truckloads of Codecademy work. The rest? Not so much. :S
On the bright side, I do now know the basics of programming in three different languages.
2. I'm going to adopt a realistic, pragmatic attitude towards interacting with the people around me. ...This means that I'll stop trying to reason with people who refuse to listen to reason and instead just navigate around them. ...Yes, this will be the most frequently broken resolution, how can you tell?
2.5. Related - I'm going to stop freezing up out of fear of criticism and just do what I need to do. Will I screw up? Inevitably. But any screw-ups will be my screw-ups, not things I didn't do because I was cringing like a coward.
Um... I was right about this one being the most frequently broken! :D D8
(On the bright side, I'm getting better on the 'navigating' front. But I've had a lot of problems with 2.5... partly because, as it turns out, it was more complex than 'fear of criticism'. It's clearing up now, but... eesh. I was (and still am) a mess.)
3. I'm going to exercise.
This actually HAS been going well! :D I need to do more, but I'm doing it consistently!
4. I'm going to actually keep to this year's resolutions. Stop laughing - I mean it. :P But... honestly, I do have the willpower. I just need to disconnect my willpower from what's expected of me and wanted of me and do them because I want to do them.
This is truthful. I HAVE been doing these things because I want to do them - and as a result, things are finally getting done. FINALLY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE WANTED FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN.
5. I'm going to pull myself out from under the fog I've been under for years. This may be the easiest - It's already happening on its own. But I'm going to advance the timetable.
The fog went much deeper than I thought it did... Though the fog that stemmed solely from the depression is pretty much gone, it turns out that a lot of the stuff I could charge through when I was hyper-confident, hyperactive, and hyper-aggressive can't be dismissed now that I'm more sober. I've been pulling, but, as I said above, I have issues.
6. I'm going to try to break certain compulsive bad habits. Not because I've been nagged to do so, but because I want to do so. (Do I have a mild complex about this? Yes.)
HabitRPG has been helping, but I need to be more consistent about docking myself points.
7. Most importantly of all - I'm going to grow a spine.
I've been trying. Heck knows, I've been trying.
I will say one thing, though.
"I'm recovering an interest in the world around me, I'm regaining a self-image that's more than a list of what I am not, and I'm rediscovering what it's like to have fun experimenting and learning new things."
That part has been consistent. I'm interested in the world around me - finally. My self-image actually considers that I might be a good person - stop laughing, I know that's melodramatic. :PCall me Guardian's Cullen and dump a vat of glitter over my head. And I'm (slowly, tentatively) expanding my interests and knowledge.
...I wish it happened sooner or quicker, but that's the breaks, I guess. Only thing I can do is keep a straight spine and keep on going, right? :D
This has been... sort of going well. I've done truckloads of Codecademy work. The rest? Not so much. :S
On the bright side, I do now know the basics of programming in three different languages.
2. I'm going to adopt a realistic, pragmatic attitude towards interacting with the people around me. ...This means that I'll stop trying to reason with people who refuse to listen to reason and instead just navigate around them. ...Yes, this will be the most frequently broken resolution, how can you tell?
2.5. Related - I'm going to stop freezing up out of fear of criticism and just do what I need to do. Will I screw up? Inevitably. But any screw-ups will be my screw-ups, not things I didn't do because I was cringing like a coward.
Um... I was right about this one being the most frequently broken! :D D8
(On the bright side, I'm getting better on the 'navigating' front. But I've had a lot of problems with 2.5... partly because, as it turns out, it was more complex than 'fear of criticism'. It's clearing up now, but... eesh. I was (and still am) a mess.)
3. I'm going to exercise.
This actually HAS been going well! :D I need to do more, but I'm doing it consistently!
4. I'm going to actually keep to this year's resolutions. Stop laughing - I mean it. :P But... honestly, I do have the willpower. I just need to disconnect my willpower from what's expected of me and wanted of me and do them because I want to do them.
This is truthful. I HAVE been doing these things because I want to do them - and as a result, things are finally getting done. FINALLY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE WANTED FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN.
5. I'm going to pull myself out from under the fog I've been under for years. This may be the easiest - It's already happening on its own. But I'm going to advance the timetable.
The fog went much deeper than I thought it did... Though the fog that stemmed solely from the depression is pretty much gone, it turns out that a lot of the stuff I could charge through when I was hyper-confident, hyperactive, and hyper-aggressive can't be dismissed now that I'm more sober. I've been pulling, but, as I said above, I have issues.
6. I'm going to try to break certain compulsive bad habits. Not because I've been nagged to do so, but because I want to do so. (Do I have a mild complex about this? Yes.)
HabitRPG has been helping, but I need to be more consistent about docking myself points.
7. Most importantly of all - I'm going to grow a spine.
I've been trying. Heck knows, I've been trying.
I will say one thing, though.
"I'm recovering an interest in the world around me, I'm regaining a self-image that's more than a list of what I am not, and I'm rediscovering what it's like to have fun experimenting and learning new things."
That part has been consistent. I'm interested in the world around me - finally. My self-image actually considers that I might be a good person - stop laughing, I know that's melodramatic. :P
...I wish it happened sooner or quicker, but that's the breaks, I guess. Only thing I can do is keep a straight spine and keep on going, right? :D