Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 1/[???]

A magenta-haired adolescent buries her face in her hands. "Can't you just go Nuzlocking?"
"Oh no! Jessie an' James are havin' a fight! But they get back together again, cry like babies, eat French toast, an' have sex fer four hours. An' Meowth's a furry." A scruffy-looking blond gets up from his seat. "There y' go, I just sporked it. So long!"
Nice try.

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!
 

( Trigger warning for abuse, abuse apologism, and a dysfunctional relationship. Jeez, this is feeling less like a French-toast-filed romance novel and more like Pokemon: 50SOG Version. )

NOW Dreamwidth is back up.

That was... odd. And there's no Dreamwidth Maintenance update either, so I guess it was just an unannounced blackout? That's... odd.

Anyway, I think I'm going off my f-list hiatus for Dreamwidth. Just so long as I avoid Fandom Secrets, there shouldn't be anything too distracting.

That reminds me, my Silver Randomlocke is now updated to Clair, and my Mono-Poison Nuzlocke desperately needs updating. And of course, I'm out of screenshots, so that means I'll actually have to play through the ROMs.

Current status of Silver Randomlocke: Kabutops/Kadabra/Bellossom/Rapidash/Raikou, just beaten Clair
Current status of MonoPoison Nuzlocke: Ivysaur/Gloom/Nidoking/Golbat/Arbok/Beedrill, heading into Rock Tunnel

My mind's itching to try the Yellow Rocketlocke, but that will have to wait. I don't want to become one of these people with three unfinished runs and ideas for two more. :\ I'm already that way with fanfic. I need to build up my self-discipline somewhere.

...On the other hand, I might not have a GBA emulator, but I do have that semi-broken DS Lite I just got out of storage...

...and a Ruby cart I never much cared about, anyway....

...must... resist... temptation...

On second thought, I liked that Ruby cart more than I thought.

Sacred Stones it is. I'm doing a new Eirika run on Difficult, possibly with the following condition:

1) Pseudo-Nuzlocke: If anyone dies, the chapter is instantly restarted. However, they are not allowed to be deployed on the battlefield again.

But more importantly:

2) NO. GRINDING. No Arena, no monsters, nothing.

This may get very painful.

...Let's just say that I will be hiding behind Seth a lot. And screw Gaidens. I'm running this blind, and if I don't satisfy turn limits, tough. I don't like Sacred Stones characters as much anyway, so I won't mind if I miss one.

3) The OTHER condition to restart a chapter is if I fail to recruit a unit. Because I'm anal-retentive about these things.
4) If I fail a chapter, I must explain in excruciating detail how I managed to do something so stupid on one of the easiest games in the Fire Emblem franchise.
4a) Note that the starters Lords are excluded from the above Pseudo-Nuzlocke clause, because I need want all the Sacred Weapon users I can for the final battle.
5) I WILL be attempting to use trainees unless it becomes abundantly clear that it's suicidal. Because d'aww, little murderbeasts. <3
6) Note: given the endgame, IF IT IN ANY WAY RESEMBLES A BISHOP, IT IS GETTING USED.
6a) MOULDER IS NOT A BISHOP, HE IS A MUSTACHE.
7) I will be attempting to support Eirika with Ephraim, possibly while they're standing nearby Evil!Lyon (because that was so unintentionally comedic in my first run). Probably ASAP though, as I'm getting Seth/Eirika up to B while I'm in earlygame because I need SOMETHING as compensation for not doing Arenas, and I'm going to be tempted to jack them up to A...

Seth is a good unit even as a prepromote, right? I'm seriously thinking of making him my Paladin and just not leveling him up until the promotions start hitting for everyone else.

Pairings: Eirika/Ephraim, Colm/Neimi, some sort of threeway arrangement with the Trainees (game permitting), and probably Artur/Lute. Natasha/Joshua, in all likelyhood, and Gerik/Marisa if that comes up.
Promotions: Assassin!Colm, Ranger!Neimi, Druid!Ewan, Berserker!Ross, General!Amelia, BISHOP!Artur, Mage-Knight!Lute, BISHOP!Natasha, Swordmaster!Joshua, Gerik-has-the-CON-for-Axes!Gerik, and Swordmaster!Marisa. Because Assassins are nice, but I like that sweet, sweet crit bonus on the GBA Swordmasters. :B

With my luck, will probably become an Eirika/Seth duo around Chapter Five... >_>

How I managed to do something so stupid on one of the easiest games in the Fire Emblem franchise.

First I must explain that I'm exempting myself from the permadeath clause on any Fog of War chapter where I don't know where all the reinforcements are. Because I fully understand that Fog of War chapters are not the cheapest things known to humankind, but... uh... I'll get back to you on anything that IS cheaper than that.

Second, it's been a long time since I played Victims of War, and never without Arena Abuse on the immediately preceding chapter.

Third, I miscalculated a Cavalier... or three's... range.

Fourth, Eirika is really an incredibly flimsy Lord. I think it's more insulting in this game because Ephraim's a tank, and Eirika is a sheet of tissue paper.

And that is why I've had to restart the current chapter three times. Though the first two times were Joshua (who is ALSO incredibly flimsy) and Artur (who is a freaking magic-user). And I also accidentally got the adult female villager killed by a giant spider this round, but I frankly don't care at this point. No one ever mistook ME for a skilled tactician.

Aside from Bullshit Clause on Fog of War chapter, no deaths.

Colm came close, but dodged a 56% chance Baleful Gaze or whatever from one of those Mogalls to survive.

Aaaand... fuuuuuck, I missed the Orion's Bolt because the woman died. Doesn't matter. Neimi isn't promoting for a long, looong time.

I may have... heh heh... exploited a surviving Cavalier and accompanying Troubador just a bit. And let Artur whittle down the boss rather than taking risks. See if you can catch which unit did the Cavalier-grinding!

Current Team:
Eirika: Lord 9.81, Seth B
Natasha: Cleric 4.07
Artur: Monk 7.10, Lute C
Seth: Paladin 2.61, Eirika B
Gilliam: Knight 11.12
Ross: Pirate 3.82
Neimi: Archer 2.83, Colm B
Colm: Thief 4.78, Neimi B
Lute: Mage 4.51, Artur C
Joshua: Myrmidon 7.41

Now inside Renvall.

*Nils-voice* A shitload of spear-wielders, Knights, sword-users, archers, and mages await you. The weak and careless will be cut down without a moment's regret. Speaking of 'weak and careless', why did you bring SO MANY low-DEF units to a chapter in which you'll need all the stalling you can get? Also, why is it that this is the SECOND time in two chapters that Colm's dodged death because you miscalculated a ranged unit's attack area?

Oh, never mind. I suppose I ought just to be thankful you're doing this to a game without ME in it.

I refuse to admit that the juvenile half-dragon has a point.