Mar. 4th, 2014

Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 3/[???]

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/582961.html

"Wait, yer tellin' me y' decided, outta nowhere, t' restart th' spork NOW?" the sandy-haired adolescent complains, abruptly dumped into the sporking room.

Yep.

"We did get over a month off," his magenta-haired companion points out, dusting herself off as she rises from the floor.

"Too bad! Look at th' Little Miss Mary sporkers! Now there's a spork that ain't EVER goin' t' be finished!"

Are you seriously comparing Cori Falls, even at her worst, to Little Miss Mary?

He pauses, biting his lip, and then shakes his head. "Aw no. No, no, no, no, no." He raises his hands in a defensive gesture. "You ain't gonna make me spork ANYTHIN' resemblin' THAT fic."

Good. Now that we're clear...

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!

( Short this time, due to bizarre formatting errors and Mozilla memory leaks. )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 01:16 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 11 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Jan. 14th, 2014

Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 2/[???]

( Short this time! Usual Cori-warnings, but you're used to them. As for the actual content - did you know that chasing after Pikachu is apparently part of Jessie and James's job description? You didn't? Neither did canon! )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 02:09 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 9 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Jan. 8th, 2014

Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 1/[???]

A magenta-haired adolescent buries her face in her hands. "Can't you just go Nuzlocking?"
"Oh no! Jessie an' James are havin' a fight! But they get back together again, cry like babies, eat French toast, an' have sex fer four hours. An' Meowth's a furry." A scruffy-looking blond gets up from his seat. "There y' go, I just sporked it. So long!"
Nice try.

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!

( Trigger warning for abuse, abuse apologism, and a dysfunctional relationship. Jeez, this is feeling less like a French-toast-filed romance novel and more like Pokemon: 50SOG Version. )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 03:12 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 15 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Nov. 4th, 2013

(Anita Blake Series) "Shutdown" Sporking

Disturbance of Harmony:

aggravated

This story was discussed on

lkh_lashouts here.

lliira sporked it here. I am sporking it because I can add something new - namely, a line-by-line sporking. Since it's already been beaten to tar, I also have the luxury of inserting CAPSLOCK reactions rather than dissecting it in detail if I so desire. ...And this thing merits CAPSLOCK, believe me.

Disclaimer: You could not pay me to take credit for this. Laurell K. Hamilton produced this, and by gad, she can HAVE it.
Everything Warning: It's an Anita Blake story.

( In retrospect, I really shouldn't have done this all in one run. )
Any analysis will wait until later. That was... unexpectedly bad. I mean, I knew it was bad just from reading it, but a close reading just exposed countless layers of awfulness and... awfulness, that's all I can really say about it. "Creepiness" doesn't do it justice. Well, the sheer amount of CAPSLOCK during the spork probably made that abundantly clear.

Anyway, I hope readers enjoy!

anita blake, shutdown spork, spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 10:56 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 22 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Sep. 28th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 4/4

( ...I'm sorry. Why am I sporking this? Why am I - when it's sporking ITSELF?! )

FINAL COUNT:
SHITLOAD OF CURSING: 34

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 09:47 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 7 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 3/4

Disturbance of Harmony:

exhausted

With our sporkers recovered, we now head into the next part...
( TRIGGER WARNING: Emotional abuse, condescending subvariety. And screw it, I don't care if that's on the sainted list of Legitimate Triggers, I AM CALLING IT A TRIGGER. ...Also, see if you can guess how high the 'SHITLOAD OF CURSING' count goes in THIS section! :D )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 02:54 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 22 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Sep. 27th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 2/4

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/511948.html

A magenta-haired teenager throws up her hands. "You have to be kidding me! It's been months!"
Looking bored, her sandy-haired companion taps his fingers on the desk in front of them. "Don'tcha think yer too old fer this stuff?"

Nope.

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!
( Beautiful love that is beautifully lovely and beautiful and - aaaaaah, screw it. )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 08:15 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 15 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Aug. 28th, 2013

Liveblogging Orson Scott Card's... dubious... rendition of Hamlet.

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/505238.html

So I'm using Google Books for my reference, so I'm not getting the whole thing. It apparently starts on page 77, and my preview begins on page 94.

That said, by the time I can see it, he hasn't even GONE OFF TO STUDY ABROAD. So, for a rendition of "HAMLET"? It desperately needs an editor.

And, oh boy, does it! You see, Orson Scott Card wrote:
"I have little interest in a dithering hero; nor am I much inspired by revenge plots. Yet I keep hearing that this is the greatest of them all.

So I analyzed the story to see what it would take to make me care about it."
So, naturally, he rewrites Hamlet as an excruciatingly flat hero who is Always Moral and Righteous and Actually a Pompous Ass (Unintentionally).

Ahem. I mean.

( Trigger warning for pedophilia, misogyny, and Orson Scott Card. Um, does the last makes the other two redundant? )

Overall review of the Google Books sample forthcoming.

orson scott card, rant, spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 12:14 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 2 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Jul. 9th, 2013

LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Thirty-Two

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/492977.html

YOU again?!
Blame LiveJournal. It made me remember I had a Little Miss Mary tag. :D

Disclaimer: Nergal (both versions) and Ninis belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. The fic belongs to Athea. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Only the spork (and the other sporkers that drop in occasonally) belongs to me.

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!

( *in best Lindsay Lohan voice* I'm bored! I'm SO BORED! )

harry potter, little miss mary, spork, sporkers: nergals-and-ninis team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 06:10 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 17 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

May. 23rd, 2013

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 1/4

A magenta-haired teenager frowns and looks up. "We're doing another sporking?"
"Don't y' have work fer Das Sporking an' Silver Sporks t' do? T' say nothin' of research?" her sandy-haired companion asks, looking askance at the screen from under his Rocket cap.
Procrastination knows no obligations! ...On second thought, you guys probably want to strangle me... :D;;

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!

THE DIFFERENCE
by Cori Falls
( Welcome to Emo-Wobbuffet Land! )

[to be (eventually) continued...]

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 01:13 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 9 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

May. 4th, 2013

Oh, boy, time for another 'Let's Vilify Social Networking!' article...

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/463289.html

Can Facebook lead to psychosis? One study says so
Researchers at the University of Tel Aviv say social networking can have seriously deleterious effects on the psyche.
Well, that's dramatic. Let's see what was actually found.
( Mainly bears defecating in the woods, social networking being treated as THE ONLY ADDICTIVE THING EVER, and arrogant generalizations. And this was written for a TECH site. *facepalm* )

rant, spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 01:24 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Mar. 21st, 2013

I now have the spork of "How James Got His Mojo Back" all on one page.

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/437092.html

Also, can you guys hit me if I ever try to go without <br/>s again?

spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 12:28 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Mar. 11th, 2013

Ooh boy. (To be fair, she's partly right. ...By some of the wonkier definitions.)

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/431363.html

"I think there are many feminists who would say that I am not a feminist. But, to me ... I love women, I have a lot of girlfriends, I admire them, they make so much more sense to me than men, and I feel like the world is a better place when women are in charge. So that kind of by default makes me a feminist. I love working in a female world." --Stephenie Meyer

Let's unpack this, shall we?

( In which I argue that Meyer actually means what she says, if you view it through a Draco Trilogy-like lens of ''Good gad, this entity does not have thought processes resembling those of humanity.'' )

Analyzing this quote did make me realize one thing, though -

Alice is the Twilight-universe's equivalent of a liberated woman.

Heaven help us all.

fandom: twilight, rant, spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 08:06 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 8 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Mar. 8th, 2013

cracking up Sweet gad, I have found the SJWs' mothership.

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/430045.html

Microaggressions.com (Warning: Either Not Safe For Blood Pressure or May Induce Uncontrollable Laughter.)
Some of the complaints are legitimate. Some of them are just freakin' bizarre.

Let's look at a few of the gems, shall we?
( Leeeet's get OFFENDED(TM)! )

spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 03:00 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Mar. 2nd, 2013

LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Thirty-One

Disturbance of Harmony:

It returns!
Current Island: returning to old commitments
Song of the Guardian: Shaman King Japanese Opening
Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/426670.html

Surely you must be joking?!
AGAIN?
...We thought... you had abandoned this spork...
No such luck, guys. |D

Disclaimer: Nergal (both versions) and Ninis belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. The fic belongs to Athea. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Only the spork (and the other sporkers that drop in occasonally) belongs to me.

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!
( Did you think this spork was gone for good? :D )

little miss mary, spork, sporkers: nergals-and-ninis team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 10:01 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Feb. 13th, 2013

Now Sporking: Sexual Privilege Checklist

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/414772.html

harp recommended that I should tackle this thing. And boy, is it a bizarre doozy. Not that it doesn't have some valid points, but others... just creep me the hell out. (Hope this spork is about what was intended.)

Disclaimer: I am "sexual", which means I am not asexual. I am also not interested in shagging every person fitting my vague preferences that comes along. Oh noes!!! According to this list, I don't exist!!!

Yes, that's about the level of what we're about to encounter...

Sporked-text in regular font, my commentary in bold type.

( Trigger warnings for discussed homophobia, rape culture, slut-shaming, aaaand a whole bunch of other such stuff. And for some asexuals who genuinely think that homophobia is no longer an issue except for a 'vocal minority'. ...Yes, it's THAT sort of SJWing... )

rant, spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 09:38 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 7 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Feb. 12th, 2013

twiddles thumbs And now for some mocking of a pop-psych checklist.

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/413623.html

Is This Your Mom?

Thank goodness, no. Pink is so not that woman's color.

( ...This brought to you by the Being Able To Diagnose Anyone You Don't Like With Mental Disorders Association! For all your book-selling needs! )

rant, spork -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 06:09 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Jan. 10th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 4/4

Eyeball-Eating Clone: http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/407544.html

( In which it... isn't all a dream. Blast. )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 04:12 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 6 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 3/4

( In which the author descends from the heavens to tell us that nothing bad will happen to Jessie, James, and Meowth EVER. ...You think I'm being sarcastic, don't you? )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 03:09 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 16 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 2/4

( In which we learn why Cori Falls reacted so bizarrely to the haircuts. Hint: She 'really identified with Jessie'. )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 12:43 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 13 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Jan. 5th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 1/???

All right, guys! Time for another sporking!

…One 18,623 words long. Have fun!

A magenta-haired teenage girl buries her head in her hands. “Not again…”

A tough-looking teenager suddenly sits up, looking alarmed. “This one ain’t another furry fic, is it?”

No.

He shrugs. “Then it ain’t so bad, I guess.”
His companion looks up and shakes her head at him. “You know you’re tempting fate, don’t you?”

I guess he doesn’t!

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!

THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE

by Cori Falls

( Behold! Mental breakdowns over bad haircuts! )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 01:13 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 15 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Nov. 12th, 2012

Now Sporking: How James Got His Mojo Back, Part 2/2

( Yes, this is the part with the Articuno costume. )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 12:55 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 10 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Nov. 7th, 2012

Now Sporking: How James Got His Mojo Back, Part 1/?

Disturbance of Harmony:

exhausted
Current Island: California
Song of the Guardian: Bless the Child - Nightwish

Well, here goes. Sporking time!
A purple-haired teenage girl blinks in surprise and confusion. “But you’ve been gone for so long… Why now?”
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me.
A scruffy blond teenager shrugs and puts on his Rocket cap. “Eh, that’s a good enough excuse t’ me. Let’s get t’ this already.”
Let’s.

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!

A White Today, and a White Tomorrow: How James Got His Mojo Back

How James Got His Mojo Back

by Cori Falls
Initial word count: 19,758. Well, let it not be said that Cori Falls skimped on quantity in her oneshots. I’ll give her credit for that, at least. She would ace NaNoWriMo. Give her one episode that really angered her, and she would have completed it within the week.

( Leeeet's all pretend we don't know James, all right? Nope, nope, never heard of him at all... )

cori falls, fandom: pokemon, spork, sporkers: tom-and-jerry team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 11:15 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 8 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Sep. 28th, 2012

Now sporking: "The Love Of A Pegasus Knight"

This here is an innocent little Lyn/Florina fanfic that only made it to three chapters before conking out.

That said, it's not a well-written one, so I'm sporking it. Roy, Elbe, and Richard are being brought in again.
( Just guess how many times the fic will undergo spontaneous tense changes before this is over. Guess. )
( ... )

fandom: fire emblem, spork, sporkers: roy-elbe-richard team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 11:23 pm ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 6 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Sep. 23rd, 2012

"Love Bares No Binds" sporking

Disturbance of Harmony:

confused

Yes, it really was spelled that way.

Roy, Elbe, and Richard are being shanghaied into this sporking. So, without further ado... Onto the fic!

( This was the author's first story. It... er... shows. )

fandom: fire emblem, spork, sporkers: roy-elbe-richard team -- Prophecy Categories

Posted at 12:18 am ◓ Prophecy Location ◓ Awaken a titan ◓ 13 titans awakened ◓ Record Prophecy ◓ Share Prophecy

Climb to the Shrine, Right What Is Wrong

And the world will be healed by the Guardian's song

Mar. 4th, 2014

Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 3/[???]

Jan. 14th, 2014

Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 2/[???]

Jan. 8th, 2014

Now Sporking: Family Matters, Part 1/[???]

Nov. 4th, 2013

(Anita Blake Series) "Shutdown" Sporking

Sep. 28th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 4/4

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 3/4

Sep. 27th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 2/4

Aug. 28th, 2013

Liveblogging Orson Scott Card's... dubious... rendition of Hamlet.

Jul. 9th, 2013

LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Thirty-Two

May. 23rd, 2013

Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 1/4

May. 4th, 2013

Oh, boy, time for another 'Let's Vilify Social Networking!' article...

Mar. 21st, 2013

I now have the spork of "How James Got His Mojo Back" all on one page.

Mar. 11th, 2013

Ooh boy. (To be fair, she's partly right. ...By some of the wonkier definitions.)

Mar. 8th, 2013

*cracking up* Sweet gad, I have found the SJWs' mothership.

Mar. 2nd, 2013

LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Thirty-One

Feb. 13th, 2013

Now Sporking: Sexual Privilege Checklist

Feb. 12th, 2013

*twiddles thumbs* And now for some mocking of a pop-psych checklist.

Is This Your Mom?

Jan. 10th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 4/4

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 3/4

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 2/4

Jan. 5th, 2013

Now Sporking: The Power That's Inside, Part 1/???

Nov. 12th, 2012

Now Sporking: How James Got His Mojo Back, Part 2/2

Nov. 7th, 2012

Now Sporking: How James Got His Mojo Back, Part 1/?

Sep. 28th, 2012

Now sporking: "The Love Of A Pegasus Knight"

Sep. 23rd, 2012

"Love Bares No Binds" sporking

December 2014

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cracking up Sweet gad, I have found the SJWs' mothership.

twiddles thumbs And now for some mocking of a pop-psych checklist.