Jun. 11th, 2014

guardians_song: Icon depiction of the sporker Richard. (Default)

Hm. Buggerfuck.

I don't have the time for {LJ/DW AND fanfiction} AND {Nuzlocke Forums} AND {Tumblr}. Hell, I barely have enough time for ONE of the above and Real Life.

I don't get it. I had more time at the very beginning of the summer... :\ I don't understand it, though I suppose I should be glad I have more going on in Real Life. Still - it unnerves me to notice that I have to either go days without updating Tumblr or without updating Nuzlockes. And of course I've unfortunately made a joke of LJ/DW.

Heck, I haven't even had much Tumblr interaction except at night...

Oh well. I've people on Tumblr with whom I need to stay in contact, but aside from that I need to cut back. *sigh* I also updated a Nuzlocke, which gives me leeway. (Silver Randomlocke is two updates away from completion! :D) And...


Cut rambling. )

Apr. 13th, 2014

guardians_song: (celebration)

Current progress on New Year's Resolutions (since I noticed my tag by accident):

-Finish my Nuzlockes, dear gad. *sigh* Give myself a GBA emulator as a present if I do.
Finished Inverse Red. Red Mono-Poison, Silver Randomlocke, and Green Thieflocke still unfinished.
-Improve my art
Debatable, but I think I'm improving. Slowly.
-Do something valuable with math. Need to graduate already.
...Working on it. Improving, though.

-Improve my work ethic
Discovered that, as I became less depressed, I became more able to grasp what I was reading, work on non-brain-numbing things, and generally think and make plans for the future. :D So, even though my work ethic technically hasn't improved, I'm able to do more than I was!
-Chill out and start finishing up unfinished fics (I am going to become a Grown Up fanficcer)
Hasn't happened. At all.
...Matter of fact, I'm just not into fic right now. I... feel like my brain's developing too much for fic. I mean, that's a GREAT thing, but my worldview keeps changing too rapidly for me to really fix my brain on any fic idea. Literally, it's about half darkness, gloom, and cynicism, and half loving everything, trying to be optimistic, and setting out for a better world. Which is good, don't get me wrong, but... how am I going to come up with any model for a fic-world when I can't even decide upon my current psychological model for the real world? XD;;

-Devise a original fic plot that will actually sell
Urrrrrgh. I... KIND of have a few, but they either run into my emotional issues or have annoyingly unsympathetic characters as the protags. I'll work on this.
-Make more friends both IRL and online
I've made... maybe one or two more than I had at the start of the year. I'm just not that good at befriending people, I guess.
-Improve muscle tone
I... think this is getting better? I sprained my ankle for a week, so I wasn't able to do some of the exercise I wanted. At least my arms have some muscle tone now, I guess. :\
-Lose weight
I have no idea. I hope I've lost a little.
-Generally act like a sensible and intelligent human being I'LL FOOL THEM ALL
Meh. :P I'm actually improving on this front! I have my own motivations, mweh heh heh. I'm more shocked than any of you guys are. XD;; Seriously, I would never have guessed that it would actually WORK.

So that's the report.

Overall, I haven't improved as much as I would have liked by now, but... I really wasn't expecting the improvement in worldview to the extent that it has taken place, and that's slanted my plans a ton off of what I'd expected they'd be. My brain's developing. I'm feeling better. I'm looking forward to my future, even if it's going to be more chaotic than I'd like for a while to come.

The fine details... are being worked on. *sweatdrop* I'm trying to deal with my attentional issues through discipline, but it's an upwards battle. My emotional stability is... highly variable, but I'm at least in good enough shape to fix it up. (Provided I can prevent events that legitimately throw me off-course from happening or ameliorate their effects when they do.) I have trouble getting myself to do everything I should be doing, but I've ALWAYS had trouble with that, and at least the distractions are increasingly Other Things Getting Done rather than just mindless avoidance of work. I suppose I should make lists - with my brain more active, To-Do Lists might finally be more than commands to myself that I write down and forget to follow...

So, in summary, things have gotten better. It's just that... in getting better... I've realized how far I have to go. :\ Eesh. ...Well, I had to realize it sometime, I guess.

...It's good. I'm dissatisfied with how I am now, but... at the same time, I feel like I'm really living. And, when I say "dissatisfied", I mean that I'm going to CHANGE to become more satisfactory to myself (and am taking steps towards accomplishing that goal), rather than being convinced that I'm going to be a permanent failure and there's no hope for anything in the long-term, no matter what I do. And that change is... very pleasant. Believe me.

Well. Wish me luck? :);;
(And good luck to anyone else in their endeavors! Wishing you the very best of luck in all your achievements and actions!)

, -- Prophecy Categories
guardians_song: Icon depiction of the sporker Richard. (Default)
Guardian's Song

December 2014




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