guardians_song (
guardians_song) wrote2012-09-17 08:57 pm
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So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...
Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.
FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions.Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second deathand everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.
Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.
Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
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Poor Hartmut... he would lose his personality entirely...
I can see that. She's fond of bending the rules to better suit her pets, after all.
We'd be lucky if she didn't make Ninian sovereign of Ilia or something.Actually, I feel like she'd ship a reformed Jahn with Idoun and Roy/Lilina, because he OMG RESCUES HER!!! and she cries in his arms when he tells her about her father. ...wait, Cori hates Hector. So Hector probably treated Lilina like dirt for not having a penis.
I disagree about Jahn - even Cori couldn't circumvent the part about the Fire Dragons crushing Idoun's soul. And she did have morals from time to time - considering that Jahn is an uptight *bleep* who dismisses the possibility that humans and dragons could ever live together, I think she'd despise him and make him the Real Villain to absolve Zephiel of all responsibility. And Roy OMG RESCUES!!! Idoun, too.
...Uh, I dunno. Maybe she'd throw Idoun to Nils, if she screwed around so that Nils was still around? Or ship Zephiel/Idoun, since they'd both be ~victims of Jahn~. (And Brunya would drop off the face of the planet.) Or something. Gad, predicting Corishipping gets so complicated with all these potential ships for her to choose from... XD
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I know, right? So many choices, each as horrible as the last.
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And he ~clearly~ manipulated poor woobie Zephiel, too. What are these Omnicidal Maniac tendencies you speak of? CLEARLY JUST JAHN'S EEEEVIL INFLUENCE!
I know, right? So many choices, each as horrible as the last.
But so gloriously brain-scarring! (I think this conversation may be the first time anyone's thought up Kishuna/Nils...)
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Wanna bet she also redeems Desmond in FE7 and has him killed by Jahn in order to manipulate Zephiel?
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Nah, she'd have poor woobie Zephiel snap and kill the monster who made his life hell, as canon, but then have his ensuing disillusionment and omnicidal tendencies be solely fueled by Jahn, who ~took advantage of his emotional vulnerability~. And only mean ol' Lilina wouldn't understand that it ~wasn't Zephiel's fault~.
...It's frightening how easy her formula is to generalize, isn't it?
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Yep. She's like Catherine Anderson, only at least Catherine seems like a kind woman and uses her OWN characters for her stories instead of mangling other canons.
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[And no, Desmond wouldn't get let off for having the same issue on his end. After all, he abused Poor Woobie Zephiel! He must DIE!]
I'll agree it's interesting to think of how she'd handle a situation outside her usual formulas. She'd probably find SOME way to hammer it into place, but it would at least be entertaining to watch her attempts. :P ;)
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Totally. And for once we'd agree with her and feel dirty. D:
LOL, yep.
This is more fun than it has the right to be.
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Yep. ...Call Desmond a Fire Emblem Jessiebelle, since she's the only person about whom I totally agreed with Cori.
It shouldn't be this fun, but it is... (If we run out of FE stuff, we can always talk about Chrono Trigger. Flea is male, right? Prepare for the wonders of Flea/Lucca...)
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(Oh God, Chrono Trigger. XD I'm a little rusty on that game but she would portray Ayla as a bitchy vamp out to destroy Marle and Crono's TWU WUB. And Marle's dad would be a total jerk about it until Marle cussed him out and he redeemed himself.)
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(Eh... wouldn't she be more pro-Lucca/Crono? She does massively favor nerds over Those Mean Children of Privilege. Ayla'd probably be Meowth. *shudder*
'Good, Lucca and Crono! Make strong babies! MANY strong babies!')
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...wait. I was about to say that Cori'd rub it in by commenting that 'Marle never let me get a word in edgewise - it was like she thought I was mute!', but nooo, it just occurred to me that Crono isn't her type. No.
Remember that Frog gets transfigured back to human after the ending if he defeats Magus (in the PS1 version) or just in general (in the DS version)? Remember Cyrus used to tell Glenn that he was too kind and gentle as a child? Remember that Frog is, after all, a knight?
Remember exactly how Cori characterizes James?
*BRAIN BLEACH* Oh gad, oh gad, oh gad. She'd ship Lucca/Frog, with Lucca seeing the ~true knight~ beyond his froggy exterior, and Magus would be SO MOVED by their love that transcends the physical that he would turn Frog back the MOMENT he joined the party, and... oogh, Ayla'd be the Meowth, and Robo'd represent all the other Pokemon, and only Crono and Marle would be too ~selfish and shallow~ to truly comprehend the depth of their love...
Bonus if Magus has Lucca's kiss turn Frog back, because it was the kiss of a ~truly noble-hearted girl~ as opposed to a ~mean bitch who just happened to have royal ancestry~. *facepalm*
(And
FrogCori!Glenn would comfort Cori!Lucca about how Crono never appreeeeciated her, and Cori!Lucca would comfort Cori!Glenn in turn about his feelings of guilt over Cyrus's death and ~how could you have ever loved a frog like meeeee~... Gah. Pass the earplugs.)Myself... I ship Glenn/Cyrus even if I don't really want to do so. The subtext... it was just too blatant to ignore...no subject
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And Shigeru1313 would bag Magus and woobiefy him as well.This is fun... any other fandoms you can suggest that Cori would mangle? I think it's more fun to speculate about her misinterpretations than those of the typical Suethor because Cori-world worked off its own crazy internal logic across all dimensions, even if it had nothing to do with the real world. And she had Shigeru1313 adding an additional dimension to the mix, since their bizarro-worlds were compatible but worked off slightly different systems.
Ah, I know! Were you into Digimon at all? I call that she'd seize Joe and Sora, and Shigeru1313 would carry off Matt with the greatest of haste. Your opinions (or suggestion of a different fandom)?
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I can see her doing My Little Pony Tales. Fanon already paints Teddy as a jerkass woobie, so she'd just have to add on a lot of sappy wangst and either make Sweetheart his ~healing angel~. And Melody and Patch, two kinda jerkass girls she could easily turn into whiny damsels. And of course she'd turn the characters into humans, which in and of itself isn't bad but Cori write ponysex? No way!
I was for a short time. Cori would bash the seven shades of shit out of Tai, no doubt, and Shigeru would either be a Matt/Mimi fan or Matt/Mary Sue fan. And poor Davis would get bashed as badly as Tai for daring to have feelings for Kari.
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So... I'm presuming the ships would be manly!Joe/woobie!Sora, artsy!Matt/Mary Sue [whether Mary-Sue is named Mimi or not], T.K./Kari, Ken/Mary-Sue!Yolei, Tai/nobody, and Davis/nobody? :( Oooh man.
And Wizardmon/Gatomon, of course. Except she'd wreck the ship like she wrecked Rocketshipping. *sigh*
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Yep. Which makes me sad because I think I shipped Joe/Sora a little at one point. :( Poor Tai and Davis.
Oh, and Cyborg 009. Joe Shimamura would probably be another exception to her "I hate shounen protagonists" rule, since Joe is angsty and a woobie with a Troubled Past. Jet Link would be her punching bag for that fandom...possibly Great Britan, too, unless she took pity on him due to his own tragic angst. Oh, and Albert Heinrich. She'd have his dead fiancee survive. D:
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(Yes, poor Davis... the fandom picks on him enough as it is. :( )
Can't speak to Cyborg 009, but you're probably right.
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One time I also wrote up this huge post on how she'd muck up ATLA.