So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...

[guardians_song]

Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.

FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions. Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death and everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.

Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P

Comments

[sarajayechan]

Ahahaha oh God. XD I once came up with a list of how Cori would totally fuck up my favorite FE games. I forgot most of it, but...

FE4: She'd turn Sylvia and Tiltyu from happy cheery girls with some hidden angst into fragile wilting flowers who cried at the drop of a hat. She'd warp Azel from a timid, overly polite moe boy into a knight in shining armor who didn't hesitate to get violent with anyone who so much as looked at Tiltyu wrong. Brigid or Ayra would have an Abusive Ex in their past, because no woman can be tough without having been abused in the past. Whoever she favored in the Finn/Lachesis/Beowulf triangle would be glorified, and the loser would be turned into a perverted dick.

FE6: I approve of the Desmond idea, lol. She'd probably be a major Fir/Noah shipper, too.

FE7: She'd probably be okay with the heroes, or at least Eliwood because he's probably mature enough for her tastes. She'd probably latch onto Heath as her precious woobie because he was a "good person forced to make bad choices" and her OTP would be Heath/Priscilla...or worse, Heath/Vaida, in which she warped Vaida into a simpering maiden who was abused in the past. Not sure who she'd hate...probably Guy because he wants To Be A Master.

FE8: Franz/Amelia, definitely. Franz is the kind of adorable moe boy she could twist into a boring knight in shining armor. She'd probably bash Ephraim for half her story arc, then redeem him when she got to the later part of the game. Colm or Rennac would be her punching bag for the rest of the stories.

[redwoodalchan]

That's funny, though I don't play Fire Emblem :P

Incidentally, for awhile now I've been wondering what Cori's fics would have looked like had she continued writing Pokemon fanfic up till the present arc. In particular, I'm wondering what she would think of their new, badass roles. Would she be happy they're finally getting respect? Or just angry and upset that they aren't cool in the way SHE wants?

[sarajayechan]

Necroposting, but I can't believe we forgot to discuss a particular pairing: Harken/Isadora. This one is RIGHT up Cori's alley, particularly the strong proud woman becoming an emotional wreck over the man she loves.

should one of us make a new entry or should this be the catch-all Cori Emblem post?

[sarajayechan]

Came up with more FE6 stuff!

*A big, long, drawn-out weepy scene where Zephiel is reformed through the power of Guinevere's sisterly love.

*Gale survives, obviously, and he and Miledy live happily ever after.

*I see Cori hating on Ward, because he's hot-blooded and kind of a jerk in his supports. So she'd demonize him while making Lott, Thany and Dieck into Brocks and Misty, embarrassed to be associated with the guy.

*Sue says in her and Shin's A support that she's afraid to lose him, and prophecies are somewhat canon, at least in the case of Dayan making Rath leave because of "a great evil". Cori could wrangle some major melodramatic hurt/comfort out of that, with Sue having dreams of Shin's death and weeping on his shoulder about it.

*Ashtor/Igrene. First of all, Igrene's daughter didn't die, she's just in a deep coma and part of Roy's quest is that the magic of the Divine Weapons will awaken her! Second, Ashtor leaves the life of a spy behind (he didn't really owe Hector his life, Hector blackmailed him. Actually, maybe he knew about Igrene and the kid and threatened their lives if Ashtor didn't work for him). But with Hector gone, the redeemed!Lilina gives Ashtor her blessing to go live in peace with his family again.

Another general note I completely forgot

[sarajayechan]

OH, and we also need the couple where at least one of them had a crappy home life with dead or abusive parents, and when their time comes to have kids they go into a big sappy ramble about how they'll break the cycle, never make the mistakes their parents did, be the most perfect mommy and daddy ever. Bonus points if the girl's the one who lost her folks, especially her mother, so we can have the "popping out babies will be a healing experience for her" glurge Cori used in her fic "Maternal Instincts"...I think that was the one, anyay. But Meowth definitely said having a kid will heal Jessie's soul from the loss of Miyamoto. (Yeah, I know breaking the cycle and learning from parenting mistakes is a realistic thing, but Cori acts as if the only way for that to happen is to be a Supermom and Superdad.)

BRINGS THIS POST BACK FROM THE DEAD

[sarajayechan]

So let's say Cori picked up FE Awakening. She'd latch onto the following pairs:

*Stahl/Sully. Classic pair of tough as nails ladette with some minor concerns about her femininity and her dorky big eater of a partner.

*Kjelle/Owain. Kjelle is Sully's daughter, a lot like her mother, Owain is a large ham and they argue a lot. Or Severa/Owain, since Severa actually cries after confessing her love to Owain. Cori would totally latch onto Severa in general because she's a canon variant of Cori!Jessie: A hurt little girl underneath a big ball of rage.

*Lucina/Inigo. Lucina is serious all the time, Inigo is always happy-go-lucky and at one point she snaps at him only to apologize later. Cori would SO twist it into Lucina weeping her apology and Inigo being Mr. Knight in Shining Armor as he forgives her...and sadly, he does have that tendency.

reviving this for the future

[sarajayechan]

So, have you played FE Fates yet?