guardians_song | So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...

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So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...

Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.

FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions. ~~Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.~~
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death ~~and everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right~~.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.

Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P

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AHAHAHAHA oh God. PRICELESS. I almost want fic of that now.

She might. Wil/Florina was the popular alt. het ship for a while, but if Wil is being saved for Rebecca...or she could ship Florina/Lowen! They can nurse each other's bad self esteem and he'd make her Pheraen Toast!

True. XD

~~oh God WORSE IMAGE EVER XDDDD You're horrible sometimes, you know that?~~

...oh shit. YOU'RE RIGHT. But in my mind it could go one of two ways:

1) Lilina is a carbon copy of her dad and is an entitled bitch who bashes Idoun for earning Roy's love.
2) She's better than her dad was, and wangsts about how she comes from an evil bastard and wonders how Roy could ever loooove her.

Ah, was it? I didn't know. Mm... Wil/Florina sounds more likely than Lowen/Florina. After all, if the Tactician bagged Lowen, she'd have an excuse to stalk Eliwood and Ninian permanently. And you have to appreciate a man who can make good Pheraen Toast! :P

And Kishuna could silently cry in Nils's arms about how its daddy - er, creator - never loved it, and they could share wangst about never being accepted and being abandoned by Nergal... all right, all right, I'll stop now.

Did Cori ever do 2)? I know Jessie freaked out a lot about HOW CAN YOU LOOOOVE ME, but that was because of her former Bastard Boyfriend. James was the one with the wretched parents, but he never wondered how Jessie could ever love him (and she redeemed his bloodline with the Wiccan grandparents). I guess Lilina could be let off cleanly in a similar manner to James, but seems unlikely... after all, as you point out, she was close to her father. Anyone who doesn't hate Cori-tagged Evil Bastards is also an Evil Bastard in Cori's book, aren't they? (I didn't read any of the Yu-Gi-Oh fics...)

...oh dear. That actually makes perfect sense.

~~it's okay, I didn't need my brain anyway~~

Come to think of it, I'm not sure. And she DID redeem James's parents, too. So this is Bad News for poor Lilina. ;_;

And goodness knows who Shigeru1313's favored character would be. Erik would be the first guess, but Darin is an inarguable bastard and he's explicitly said to be perpetually second to Eliwood and Hector - he'd probably be FE!Ash for her. She liked the confident, intelligent type... Hmm. I wonder if Louise would turn out to have Arwen as her middle name. >_>

Yes, poor Lilina. T_T As I said, though, she might let Lilina off by matching her with Gonzales... possibly as a form of punishment. :| (Oogh, the epilogue she'd write to FE6 would have SO MANY Unfortunate Implications about the mentally retarded, I bet...)

...oh God. Poor Pent. ;_; ~~the Erk I used to RP as occasionally is going into fits at the thought of his mentor suffering like that~~

lkdhfjkfhgl oh God. Lilina and Gonzales would be the new Delia and Ash Hull Ketchum.

Erk would have his own problems. He'd be having to heal Priscilla's poor wounded soul, remember? XP But yes, Louise would develop a strange inability to string her own bow without Pent holding her hand, and Pent would constantly be working on his sketchb...

Wait, wait, wait. I just realized. Shigeru1313 might not go after Pent, since she favored OCs more and Louise DOES have a canon personality. CANAS'S wife, on the other hand...

...and she could be argued to be a super-duper-magic-user, since she's related to Nino...

...ohhhhh dear. No wonder Niime's such a cynic in FE6 - having a Mary-Sue for a daughter-in-law will do that to you. XD ~~She'd probably get named Iris Arwen Mallorn or something...~~

lkdhfjkfhgl oh God. Lilina and Gonzales would be the new Delia and Ash Hull Ketchum.
Yep. }:| And you know she'd use that as an excuse to toss command of Ostia - and thus of the Lycian League itself - to Roy and his heirs. 'Due to the mental incapacity of the heir of House Ostia'...

~~All this is so uncharitable, but you KNOW it's what she'd do...~~

Ohhh yeah. And Raven would be the evil bastard trying to keep Erk and Priscilla apart and mistreating Priscilla until Erk SUMMONED HIS MIGHTY MAGIC POWERS and roasted Raven like pheasant.

...oh God. YES. And she'd also let Canas and his wife LIVE so they could be ~good parents~ to their son and then he wouldn't become a mercenary because that's Dirty Work. Poor Niime. XD

Yep. And people would treat it like it was all a joke, too.

~~Totally. D:~~

Probably. ~~Wait, I just thought of what her group-beating scenes would look like, and - I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person, but I can't stop laughing at the thought of Lucius cursing Raven out.~~ I mean, that evil wretch! How DARE he violate a SACRED PROMISE? (Cori would almost completely ignore that he couldn't fulfill that promise ~~even if he were straight~~.)

Yep, and they'd totally beat the snowstorm without a sweat, because of the dictation of Tactician Cori. ('Move two squares up and three squares to the left and cast ~~Magic Missile AT THE DARKNESS~~ Fenrir on that chunk of the snowstorm!') Niime, meanwhile, would probably take up whiskey...

*grimace* They would. They would.
'Mommy, it's a Bern soldier in RED ARMOR! EEEEVIL!'
'Mommy, it's a Bern soldier in green armor! Quick, find somebody to talk to him and make him turn non-evil!'
~~"Who are you calling "him", brat?" the aged General Vaida snapped.~~
(The behavior would be funny if the kid was about five, but you know she wouldn't have the kid be five...)

Yeah, bad Raven! How dare he not be sexually attracted to his beautiful sister! ~~I just pictured Lucius cursing and hitting Raven. My brain hurts. :(~~

They would. And they'd do it with the power of LOOOOOOOVE, too. And Hugh would already know how to read books at age two.

Yeah, the kid would be like...15. And his or her parents would be doing it, too. D:

Knowing Cori, there probably would be some unintentional Unfortunate Implications spouted while Erk and Lucius were attempting to comfort Priscilla over her brother's CRUEL REJECTION. 'If you were my sister, I would be constantly tormented by my thoughts about you!' 'You're prettier than I am!'
~~I mentally see Lucius and Raven attempting to read a badfic with that in it; Raven snorts at it, and Lucius literally faints from mortification.~~

How could I have forgotten? Yes, they'd do some massive, magenta love-beam at the blizzard and pulverize it entirely...

Actually, since Niime apparently didn't think there would be anything strange about a child grabbing onto a dark tome at age two, my fanon is that it's something about the tomes themselves that either repels or attracts people from a very early age. (This makes all dark-magic-inclined toddlers Creepy Children in this respect, since, by my fanon, they're eagerly grabbing for the tomes while their peers are screaming, wailing, and squirming away...) So I'd say either Cori!Hugh would be hunky-dory with dark magic, or Iris Arwen Mallorn would make Canas and his mother see the light about how Wicca-anima is so much more awesome than their creepy old dark magic, and Hugh would be the star prodigy child of the family. *bleeeeh*

To be fair, I could see Gonzales doing something like that if he were conditioned to do so. Aside from that, though... *shudders*
(And it'd be a "he". Cori had issues with both sexes... evil girls were consistently psychotic, petty bitches, but evil boys were either brutally violent or severely retarded - sometimes both. So a pure-OC she'd be bashing hard would, in all likelihood, be male.

...Put that way, I must reiterate my hope that Cori got her issues straightened out once she left fandom...)

Cori would either ignore, not realize, or retcon Raven and Priscilla being siblings. Because Priscilla is a Pure Maiden and Raven is a jerkass.

Hahaha, yes. SPARKLY massive magenta love-beam!

Either would suit Cori's rhetoric, lol.

(Ah, right. Poor Ash. And Weevil. And Tracey, and Butch, and every other male character Cori hated. ;_;)

So do I. :/ I hope she became like me and took to laughing at her old attitude and fics.

It's kind of hard to ignore if you get into Priscilla's supports with either Raven or Lucius. But I could see her pulling not!siblings thing... stepchildren from different marriages? |P

AHAHAHAHA NO WAIT I KNOW. Your mentioning Raven was a jerkass did it. CORI was not into converting Jerkasses into Jerkass Woobies, but her FRIEND was. I don't know if Shigeru1313 ever had more than one Stu active at a time, but if she did, I think Raven would join Pent and Raven in her collection. Anyone up for a female Mercenary who mysteriously joins the party as an old friend of Tactician Cori's? ...No? What if she was named Arwen? :P

(I almost wish Cori had stayed in the fandom after Master Quest ended, just so we could see her Humiliation Conga for Ghetsis. Because you KNOW she would be weeping over N while Shigeru1313 snuck off with Cheren. Say, should we do Diamond and Pearl!Cori and Black and White!Cori in the next post? Might prove entertaining - you'd have to supply the anime!canon for that section, though.)

Rumor has it she has, so good for her... Hope the rumor's true.

Yep, definitely.

HOLY SHIT YES. Shigeru would convince Cori Raven wasn't so bad, and he'd get a girlfriend named Arwen.

(,dvjk,fbjhmjmnfj YES YES YES. She'd be the biggest N/Hilda shipper who bashed Hilda's Ferris Wheel dates...the male ones, anyway, because THERE ARE NO LESBIANS IN POKEMON KTHX so Aurora only ADMIRES Hilda!)

And they'd have 2.5 clone-children.

And she'd bring Hilbert into the picture just to bash him, since she wouldn't have a major good-side character to bash otherwise. :| She'd have to have SOMETHING to entertain her between Humiliation Conga episodes for Ghetsis.

N says 2.5 is impossible because one cannot only have "half" of a child! /shot

Totally. She'd definitely make fun of his name, and everyone would have a field day with that.

Well, after Cori gets through with a character, they only have half the complexity they used to have at best... /water-gunned

~~Hilbert, or Dennnnnnn-iiiis?~~

LOL, good one.

DEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIS.

And she wouldn't even have to redeem him considering...well, that's a spoiler. But needless to say she can fangirl N and hate Ghetsis with no worries!

ACTUALLY I JUST HAD A THOUGHT :O Lilina could still get off easily if Cori retconned Hector into an abusive dad. She has no problem destroying canonically close relationships into crappy ones to suit her own needs (like Brock and Misty going from being Ash's best friends to staying with him out of pity and obligation, or Professor Oak going being Ash's mentor and father figure to telling him to "shut the hell up"). Plus, Uther is the opposite of Hector in every way so he could be the FE equivalent to James's magical Wiccan grandparents.

Magical-Wiccan-Uther = XD

Possible... possible. Depends upon what ships she wanted for FE6. Roy/Lilina = redemption, Roy/anyone else = Cori!Gonzales. :P

Hector: Brother, what's with the purple robes and weird book?
Uther: SILENCE, TWERP! This is Wicca, and it's more enlightened than you and your evil Elimine-ism!
Hector: ...I don't practice ANY religion. :P

I keep seeing Cori as a Roy/Lilina shipper because of the emotional scenes in chapter 8, plus Lilina being a distressed damsel for a time. But Idoun fits that role just as well and Roy DOES save her, so...yeah. Could go either way!

Uther: HERETIC!
Canas: *sigh* We must be tolerant of all religions.
Hector: Well said, druid.
Canas: *continuing* Including those who draw their power from the great forces beyond the mortal realm, which lived before the beginning of the world and will outlive its end, which lurk in the deep places of the earth, which yearn to devour all, which feast upon the foolish and unwary, which rush upon and carry off the greatest of armies as a flood rushes upon and carries off a swarm of ants -
Hector: GOOD GODS, someone get an exorcist! D8

Mm - I agree, it could go either way. :) My inclinations are only towards Idoun because Cori obviously believes in tainted blood. But, as you say, Wiccan!Uther would probably redeem everything. XP ;)

LOL Canas. XD

Yeah, she does. But I can see her writing alternate timelines and the redeemed!Lilina one being the AU while the Roy/Idoun one is the "real" canon.

...Did Cori ever write alternate timelines? I thought part of what drove her off the mental cliff was that she DIDN'T write alternate timelines. (Yes, Break From Canon - but that was still in lockstep with her WYDS timeline. And it was spurred by her being UNABLE to continue writing WYDS fics that were compatible with her timeline - push came to shove, and she decided the canon had to go.)

If she did, though - I can see that. Truth be told, I can see her missing the True Ending due to its ridiculous requirements at first and writing the redeemed!Lilina timeline, then panicking when she learned you could rescue Idoun and overhauling everything, a la the altered version of The Thrill of Defeat. :P That would allow for two timelines.

...actually, she didn't. Aside from "Broken Souls" her fics all took place in the same continuum.

YES, that sounds like Cori to me. :D "I wrote the Roy/Lilina timeline before I learned you could rescue Idoun, and that Roy was the one to do it! So any stories where Roy marries Lilina are an alternate universe, or rather a weird dream Roy had sometime before the battle with Idoun! In the REAL world, Roy's soul mate is Idoun while Lilina and Gonzales still redeem themselves and become lovers!"

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So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...

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