guardians_song (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guardians_song) wrote2012-09-17 08:57 pm
guardians_song) wrote2012-09-17 08:57 pm
Entry tags:
So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...
Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.
FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions.Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second deathand everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.
Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.
Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
Re: Part II
Wait, wait, wait. I just realized. Shigeru1313 might not go after Pent, since she favored OCs more and Louise DOES have a canon personality. CANAS'S wife, on the other hand...
...and she could be argued to be a super-duper-magic-user, since she's related to Nino...
...ohhhhh dear. No wonder Niime's such a cynic in FE6 - having a Mary-Sue for a daughter-in-law will do that to you. XD
She'd probably get named Iris Arwen Mallorn or something...lkdhfjkfhgl oh God. Lilina and Gonzales would be the new Delia and Ash Hull Ketchum.
Yep. }:| And you know she'd use that as an excuse to toss command of Ostia - and thus of the Lycian League itself - to Roy and his heirs. 'Due to the mental incapacity of the heir of House Ostia'...
All this is so uncharitable, but you KNOW it's what she'd do...Re: Part II
...oh God. YES. And she'd also let Canas and his wife LIVE so they could be ~good parents~ to their son and then he wouldn't become a mercenary because that's Dirty Work. Poor Niime. XD
Yep. And people would treat it like it was all a joke, too.
Totally. D:Re: Part II
Wait, I just thought of what her group-beating scenes would look like, and - I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person, but I can't stop laughing at the thought of Lucius cursing Raven out.I mean, that evil wretch! How DARE he violate a SACRED PROMISE? (Cori would almost completely ignore that he couldn't fulfill that promiseeven if he were straight.)Yep, and they'd totally beat the snowstorm without a sweat, because of the dictation of Tactician Cori. ('Move two squares up and three squares to the left and cast
Magic Missile AT THE DARKNESSFenrir on that chunk of the snowstorm!') Niime, meanwhile, would probably take up whiskey...*grimace* They would. They would.
'Mommy, it's a Bern soldier in RED ARMOR! EEEEVIL!'
'Mommy, it's a Bern soldier in green armor! Quick, find somebody to talk to him and make him turn non-evil!'
"Who are you calling "him", brat?" the aged General Vaida snapped.(The behavior would be funny if the kid was about five, but you know she wouldn't have the kid be five...)
Re: Part II
I just pictured Lucius cursing and hitting Raven. My brain hurts. :(They would. And they'd do it with the power of LOOOOOOOVE, too. And Hugh would already know how to read books at age two.
Yeah, the kid would be like...15. And his or her parents would be doing it, too. D:
Re: Part II
I mentally see Lucius and Raven attempting to read a badfic with that in it; Raven snorts at it, and Lucius literally faints from mortification.How could I have forgotten? Yes, they'd do some massive, magenta love-beam at the blizzard and pulverize it entirely...
Actually, since Niime apparently didn't think there would be anything strange about a child grabbing onto a dark tome at age two, my fanon is that it's something about the tomes themselves that either repels or attracts people from a very early age. (This makes all dark-magic-inclined toddlers Creepy Children in this respect, since, by my fanon, they're eagerly grabbing for the tomes while their peers are screaming, wailing, and squirming away...) So I'd say either Cori!Hugh would be hunky-dory with dark magic, or Iris Arwen Mallorn would make Canas and his mother see the light about how Wicca-anima is so much more awesome than their creepy old dark magic, and Hugh would be the star prodigy child of the family. *bleeeeh*
To be fair, I could see Gonzales doing something like that if he were conditioned to do so. Aside from that, though... *shudders*
(And it'd be a "he". Cori had issues with both sexes... evil girls were consistently psychotic, petty bitches, but evil boys were either brutally violent or severely retarded - sometimes both. So a pure-OC she'd be bashing hard would, in all likelihood, be male.
...Put that way, I must reiterate my hope that Cori got her issues straightened out once she left fandom...)
Re: Part II
Hahaha, yes. SPARKLY massive magenta love-beam!
Either would suit Cori's rhetoric, lol.
(Ah, right. Poor Ash. And Weevil. And Tracey, and Butch, and every other male character Cori hated. ;_;)
So do I. :/ I hope she became like me and took to laughing at her old attitude and fics.
Re: Part II
AHAHAHAHA NO WAIT I KNOW. Your mentioning Raven was a jerkass did it. CORI was not into converting Jerkasses into Jerkass Woobies, but her FRIEND was. I don't know if Shigeru1313 ever had more than one Stu active at a time, but if she did, I think Raven would join Pent and Raven in her collection. Anyone up for a female Mercenary who mysteriously joins the party as an old friend of Tactician Cori's? ...No? What if she was named Arwen? :P
(I almost wish Cori had stayed in the fandom after Master Quest ended, just so we could see her Humiliation Conga for Ghetsis. Because you KNOW she would be weeping over N while Shigeru1313 snuck off with Cheren. Say, should we do Diamond and Pearl!Cori and Black and White!Cori in the next post? Might prove entertaining - you'd have to supply the anime!canon for that section, though.)
Rumor has it she has, so good for her... Hope the rumor's true.
Re: Part II
HOLY SHIT YES. Shigeru would convince Cori Raven wasn't so bad, and he'd get a girlfriend named Arwen.
(,dvjk,fbjhmjmnfj YES YES YES. She'd be the biggest N/Hilda shipper who bashed Hilda's Ferris Wheel dates...the male ones, anyway, because THERE ARE NO LESBIANS IN POKEMON KTHX so Aurora only ADMIRES Hilda!)
Re: Part II
And she'd bring Hilbert into the picture just to bash him, since she wouldn't have a major good-side character to bash otherwise. :| She'd have to have SOMETHING to entertain her between Humiliation Conga episodes for Ghetsis.
Re: Part II
Totally. She'd definitely make fun of his name, and everyone would have a field day with that.
Re: Part II
Hilbert, or Dennnnnnn-iiiis?Re: Part II
DEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIS.
And she wouldn't even have to redeem him considering...well, that's a spoiler. But needless to say she can fangirl N and hate Ghetsis with no worries!