guardians_song: Ken Sugimori's concept art of the Pokemon starters, with the main characters and rival beside them. (kicking it oldschool)
guardians_song ([personal profile] guardians_song) wrote2012-09-17 08:57 pm

So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...

Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.

FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions. Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death and everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.

Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
sarajayechan: Eliwood carrying Ninian out of the Dragon's Gate, bridal-style ([FE7] Eliwood/Ninian)

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-09-18 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
Ahahaha oh God. XD I once came up with a list of how Cori would totally fuck up my favorite FE games. I forgot most of it, but...

FE4: She'd turn Sylvia and Tiltyu from happy cheery girls with some hidden angst into fragile wilting flowers who cried at the drop of a hat. She'd warp Azel from a timid, overly polite moe boy into a knight in shining armor who didn't hesitate to get violent with anyone who so much as looked at Tiltyu wrong. Brigid or Ayra would have an Abusive Ex in their past, because no woman can be tough without having been abused in the past. Whoever she favored in the Finn/Lachesis/Beowulf triangle would be glorified, and the loser would be turned into a perverted dick.

FE6: I approve of the Desmond idea, lol. She'd probably be a major Fir/Noah shipper, too.

FE7: She'd probably be okay with the heroes, or at least Eliwood because he's probably mature enough for her tastes. She'd probably latch onto Heath as her precious woobie because he was a "good person forced to make bad choices" and her OTP would be Heath/Priscilla...or worse, Heath/Vaida, in which she warped Vaida into a simpering maiden who was abused in the past. Not sure who she'd hate...probably Guy because he wants To Be A Master.

FE8: Franz/Amelia, definitely. Franz is the kind of adorable moe boy she could twist into a boring knight in shining armor. She'd probably bash Ephraim for half her story arc, then redeem him when she got to the later part of the game. Colm or Rennac would be her punching bag for the rest of the stories.
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy ([FE Heroes] Lyn/Florina)

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-09-18 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh dear, that Orson/Monica image... XD

For FE8, she miiight latch onto Lyon and have him be a Manly Knight In Shining Armor possessed against his will by the Demon King, and have him saved in the end by the power of Eirika's True Love. Remember, she tended to latch onto main characters, bringing in minor characters for minions.

OH GOD HOW DID I MISS THAT. I always picture Cori as a Seth/Eirika shipper, but I never considered Lyon as an easy target for her BS.

Ohhhh yeah, Nergal would be a Nice Boss after chapter 19xx. Instead of using Ninian to kill Elbert he'd go WHAT HAVE I DONE, embrace his children and join the gang. And YES, Hector would be the designated Bad Guy, considering he canonically rejects Jaffar's efforts at redemption. Cue Jaffar giving many self-righteous OOC speeches about how he's HUMAAAAAN and Hector is A BRAIN-DEAD JERK. And she would ruin Nino/Jaffar worse than one fic I read ages ago.

I can see her temporarily demonizing Fiora, then giving her an angst-filled redemption and tossing her to Kent, who was busy angsting over his unrequited love for Lyn. And ugh, she would totally piss and moan about Lyn/Florina and shame fans for shipping it. "How can anyone be SO MEAN as to say Lyn is gay!!"

Poor Nils. ;_; The thought of Ninian getting it on with ANYONE would squick the hell out of him normally.
Edited 2012-09-18 17:14 (UTC)
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Fiora)

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-09-18 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
That's definitely more Cori-ish than standard-issue Seth/Eirika fluff pieces. XD And poor Ephraim...Innes, though, she'd definitely bash the shit out of him for his "I will win Eirika" comment.

Oh God, Cori's hypothetical rendition of the Nergal backstory. Poor Roland and Athos. :( Roland would be the jackass in the bar ordering ten glasses of ale and then hitting on every chick he could find. "HEEEEEEEEY BABY, WANNA SEE MY BIG GIANT SWOOOOOORD? what, you don't?! COME BACK HERE YOU BIIIITCH!"

I guess it's possible Cori would, instead of the benevolent-ghost thing, redo the final battle so that Nils somehow remembers everything all of a sudden and pulls a "I Know You're In There Somewhere" Fight on Nergal, whereupon Nergal breaks free of the darkness through the power of love... I'm trying so hard not to break down laughing over here... and then does the entire My God What Have I Done thing. If Cori was as fond of Star Wars as she was of LOTR, I'd say it would be a sure thing. ...I GUESS it would still be a possibility, since she could draw a One Ring analogy. Oh dear.

I can see that, too. XD God, that would be the funniest thing ever! And Hector would scream NOOOOO HE'S EEEEEEEEEVIL until Eliwood OOCly bitchslapped him and cussed a blue streak. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SAY THAT, HE'S A NICE MAN! YOU FUCKING FUCKASS, I'LL CUT YOUR SHITTY FUCKING BALLS OFF WITH YOUR OWN GODDAMN FUCKING AXE!"

You're... er... talking about Two Angels by TheOneAndOnlyT, I take it? *shifty eyes* I admit to cutting TheOneAndOnlyT's fics loads of slack because the very first time I visited fanfiction.net was when I clicked a link to his (?) Eliwood/Ninian story, but... uh, yes. I'll admit that one wasn't terribly IC...

Yeah. >.> It's okay, I couldn't stand his earlier stuff because of all the melodrama, but last I saw he'd improved a lot with his writing. Two Angels, though...just rubbed me the wrong way.

Poor Kent and Fiora. :/ Their supports have them falling for each other on their own merits, not as each other's sloppy seconds.

Random Member of the Army: Where WERE Eliwood and Ninian all battle? I kept looking for them, but...
Nils: *stiffly* They were increasing their support level.
Random Member of the Army: But the battle went on for FOUR HOURS!
Nils: *even more stiffly* Yes. They were increasing it for four hours straight.


HAHAHAHAHAHA oh dear. And Cori would be the most obsessive matchmaker!tactician ever.

Also, anytime certain characters killed a boss or went up against an old friend or something like that Cori would milk the post-victory collapse and possible post-victory guilt for all it was worth. Nino killing Sonia or the remaining Reed brother, Florina killing Migal in chapter 3, Ninian fighting off those Fire Dragons, Lyn vs. Lundgren, etc.

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redwoodalchan: Silly Drifloon from "Red Sun" fic (Default)

[personal profile] redwoodalchan 2012-09-28 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
That's funny, though I don't play Fire Emblem :P

Incidentally, for awhile now I've been wondering what Cori's fics would have looked like had she continued writing Pokemon fanfic up till the present arc. In particular, I'm wondering what she would think of their new, badass roles. Would she be happy they're finally getting respect? Or just angry and upset that they aren't cool in the way SHE wants?
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Isadora)

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-10-05 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
Necroposting, but I can't believe we forgot to discuss a particular pairing: Harken/Isadora. This one is RIGHT up Cori's alley, particularly the strong proud woman becoming an emotional wreck over the man she loves.
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Florina)

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-10-05 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Yep, she sure was. :/ Poor Isadora.

Oh God that would be the most awesome thing ever! Maybe we could co-write it, I'd want in on some of that action. :D Meanwhile, Fiora and Kent would be like "this is why we initially desired that policy of keeping the men and women away from each other, because of the tactician", and Vaida would have to be restrained by half the army to keep her from feeding Cori to Umbriel or running her through with her lance.

LOL, ditto. When I aim to pair people in any FE game with pairing mechanics, I'm so finicky about my formations. "Okay, Finn, I know you're on a horse and moving you further away would be logical but Lachesis still isn't promoted so if you could hang back with her? Thanks." "Okay, the chests haven't been opened yet but Matthew and Serra still need their B support so I'm not going for them, since his range is longer than hers." And of course waiting forever to beat a boss or seize a throne.

And you just know she'd rewrite any paired endings she didn't feel to be 'heartfelt' enough to be pure tooth-destroying glurge... oh gad, imagine the ones that didn't exist, so she'd be left to write them on her own. Good gad. Imagine The Prodigal Parents... Twelve times over. At least.

"So Erk and Priscilla were married and had 2.5 perfect children and the pain in Priscilla's soul was finally healed by True Love." And making an ending for Serra and Lucius, especially with his "I thank St. Elimine for bringing you to my side".

Me too. XD; On one hand, Heath/Vaida would finally get some recognition. On the other hand, it might as well not BE them.

D: Ewww. Where?
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Serra)

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-10-06 07:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Totally. Hector would be like ELIWOOD YOU SAID THIS TACTICIAN KNEW HER STUFF BUT ALL SHE DOES IS TRY TO KILL ME AND OBSESS OVER MATCHMAKING >:o And he'd make a point of pissing Cori off at every turn.

Yeah, arenas are prime spots for building supports. XD

Serra and LUCIUS, though... Oh gad, just think of it. They BOTH get to angst over their CANONICAL orphaned, miserable childhoods. It would be double-strength Cori!Jessie Backstory Angst.

Oh God, yes. Lucius's beloved awesome dad was killed by the EEEEEVIL Renault, so his saintly mother died of heartbreak and he was put in a mean orphanage where he was bullied. And Serra would have had a gang of Libbies picking on her at the orphanage too...or worse, village girls from rich families who stopped by the place for the sole purpose of bullying her.

...Well, canon!Serra would have ONE thing to rejoice over as Cori shoved her into that formula, at least. You know Cori would have her parents be an Eturian count and his wife, just as she always dreamed. (Cori was relatively smart at exploiting canon loopholes, so she'd probably claim that Serra's parents were of the same house as Nino's to give both an excuse as to WHY Serra ended up orphaned and an excuse to make Serra TEH BEST LIGHT MAGIC USER EVAR.) So SERRA would have all her dreams made reality... poor Lucius's only consolation would be that people no long mistook him for the opposite sex. :( Poor Lucius.

LOL, true about canon!Serra. "Hey, at least she knows the truth about my parents!" But Cori's storytelling might even be a bit much for HER at some point.

Yes. Sadly. D: Hector/Farina is my Hector OTP, but it'd be written as a throwaway ship because Cori thinks they're both douchebags.

D: Good call.

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sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Fir/Noah)

should one of us make a new entry or should this be the catch-all Cori Emblem post?

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-10-28 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Came up with more FE6 stuff!

*A big, long, drawn-out weepy scene where Zephiel is reformed through the power of Guinevere's sisterly love.

*Gale survives, obviously, and he and Miledy live happily ever after.

*I see Cori hating on Ward, because he's hot-blooded and kind of a jerk in his supports. So she'd demonize him while making Lott, Thany and Dieck into Brocks and Misty, embarrassed to be associated with the guy.

*Sue says in her and Shin's A support that she's afraid to lose him, and prophecies are somewhat canon, at least in the case of Dayan making Rath leave because of "a great evil". Cori could wrangle some major melodramatic hurt/comfort out of that, with Sue having dreams of Shin's death and weeping on his shoulder about it.

*Ashtor/Igrene. First of all, Igrene's daughter didn't die, she's just in a deep coma and part of Roy's quest is that the magic of the Divine Weapons will awaken her! Second, Ashtor leaves the life of a spy behind (he didn't really owe Hector his life, Hector blackmailed him. Actually, maybe he knew about Igrene and the kid and threatened their lives if Ashtor didn't work for him). But with Hector gone, the redeemed!Lilina gives Ashtor her blessing to go live in peace with his family again.
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Dorothy)

I was hoping you'd say that

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-10-29 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yep. And Cori would SO ship Zephiel/Brunya, with Brunya weeping over her undying love for her king and how she could never tell him her true feelings and being whiny and jealous over his attention to Idoun.

Totally. XD Ray/Sophia would be a genderswapped Jessie/James, with the guy being the sad knight under a tsundere mask. Sophia would still be a fragile flower, though, because Cori. Lugh...fandom commonly ships him with Ellen because of their supports, but she's a bit old for him. I'd suggest Fa if her human self weren't obviously younger than ten. Thany? Unless Cori would actually ship Dieck/Thany...

Either that, or Nino and Jaffar return in epic style.

At the exact moment Ray and Lugh finished reading their story, to boot.

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sarajayechan: Jessie and James doing Rose of Versailles cosplay ([Pokemon Anime] Jessie/James)

Another general note I completely forgot

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-11-03 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
OH, and we also need the couple where at least one of them had a crappy home life with dead or abusive parents, and when their time comes to have kids they go into a big sappy ramble about how they'll break the cycle, never make the mistakes their parents did, be the most perfect mommy and daddy ever. Bonus points if the girl's the one who lost her folks, especially her mother, so we can have the "popping out babies will be a healing experience for her" glurge Cori used in her fic "Maternal Instincts"...I think that was the one, anyay. But Meowth definitely said having a kid will heal Jessie's soul from the loss of Miyamoto. (Yeah, I know breaking the cycle and learning from parenting mistakes is a realistic thing, but Cori acts as if the only way for that to happen is to be a Supermom and Superdad.)
sarajayechan: Nino excitedly running to embrace Jaffar ([FE7] Nino/Jaffar)

Re: Another general note I completely forgot

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2012-11-03 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Oh God, they're both perfect. Zephiel's childhood is an infamous mess, and Cori would definitely give Brunya a crapton of angst. Dead father, abusive mother, no siblings. She latched onto Zephiel as her True Love because OMG THEY SUFFERED THE SAME WAY.

And Jaffar never knew his parents so he'd be weeping at Nino all "omg did we make the same mistakes by leaving our kids in Araphen?!!?!", but Nino would reassure him that it was only temporary and they'd be back. Or Cori might retcon them into never having gone away at all! Rei and Lugh were just at the orphanage visiting the poor little kiddies!
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy (Inigo/Lucina)

BRINGS THIS POST BACK FROM THE DEAD

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2013-05-19 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
So let's say Cori picked up FE Awakening. She'd latch onto the following pairs:

*Stahl/Sully. Classic pair of tough as nails ladette with some minor concerns about her femininity and her dorky big eater of a partner.

*Kjelle/Owain. Kjelle is Sully's daughter, a lot like her mother, Owain is a large ham and they argue a lot. Or Severa/Owain, since Severa actually cries after confessing her love to Owain. Cori would totally latch onto Severa in general because she's a canon variant of Cori!Jessie: A hurt little girl underneath a big ball of rage.

*Lucina/Inigo. Lucina is serious all the time, Inigo is always happy-go-lucky and at one point she snaps at him only to apologize later. Cori would SO twist it into Lucina weeping her apology and Inigo being Mr. Knight in Shining Armor as he forgives her...and sadly, he does have that tendency.
Edited 2013-06-28 20:53 (UTC)
sarajayechan: Sumia with a serene look on her face and her hands on her chest ([FE Awakening] Sumia)

Re: BRINGS THIS POST BACK FROM THE DEAD

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2013-06-29 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Poor Vaike. D: Nevermind that he's a good guy underneath all that FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

*shudder* Yes, I can. And her preferred Cordelia pairing would definitely be Frederick, since he's basically all MY POOR MAIDEN, LET ME SWEEP AWAY YOUR TROUBLES WITH MY UNDYING LOVE.

Oh God, I didn't think of that. Lucina/M!Robin is already packed with drama as it is, and Lucina's second to Severa as Cori's favorite female character type. D: And she would so make M!Robin into another James.
sarajayechan: Eirika looking determined, preparing to strike an enemy ([FE Fates] Corrin)

reviving this for the future

[personal profile] sarajayechan 2017-04-24 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
So, have you played FE Fates yet?