guardians_song (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guardians_song) wrote2012-09-17 08:57 pm
guardians_song) wrote2012-09-17 08:57 pm
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So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...
Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.
FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions.Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second deathand everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.
Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.
Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P
Re: I was hoping you'd say that
And she'd still know and be smirking at him the whole time.
'Heh... So you have a heart, too, kid...'
'Wh-What? I don't know what you're talking about... Crazy old woman...'
'Heh heh... You really think you can fool me, don't you...'
Creepy. D: Ray becomes Roy 2.0, who is basically Eliwood 2.0.
Clone, clone, clone! The essence of Cori Falls characterizations!
I'm also at the point in the game where Jahn tells Roy about the truth behind the legend, specifically the "the SoS reacted to Hartmut's sympathy for Idoun and spared her" bit. And I remember our discussions of how Cori would characterize the Eight Heroes and "Eliwood trades in Durandal for SoS". XD
*snork* I tell you, Cori SHOULD have been in FE fandom. She would have been much more compatible with its themes and characters.
Maybe she wouldn't have gone off the ledge...Re: I was hoping you'd say that
Cori Falls: The cloning machine of the fanfic world.
Yep. XD In FE there are mystical maidens and gentle knights and moral gray areas.
Maybe. There's a small chance that if she actually had complexity to work with in the first place she'd have tried harder to be loyal to canon instead of going on a rampage and ripping it apart to suit HER needs. ...then again, we have FE fans who already do that via elitism and obsessive deconstruction.Re: I was hoping you'd say that
Pfft. Yeah, he'd probably be going tsundere up to his wedding day.
'I-It's not like I like her or anything...'
'Eh? Told your bride-to-be-that, boy?'
'...Okay, maybe I do like her... or something...'
Cori Falls: The cloning machine of the fanfic world.
'Jessie/James 2.0 was too tame. Behold, Jessie/James 356.0!'
There's a small chance that if she actually had complexity to work with in the first place she'd have tried harder to be loyal to canon instead of going on a rampage and ripping it apart to suit HER needs. ...then again, we have FE fans who already do that via elitism and obsessive deconstruction.
Mm, yeah... Cori was very much anti-deconstruction once she had locked onto the right characters, though. And elitism wasn't her game so much as crusading for her pet characters.
...Oh gad, she'd probably go to war with the elitist deconstructionists. Meanwhile, the actual canon-purists would object to her characterization of Hector and the like, and - FREE FOR ALL!
Re: I was hoping you'd say that
...dammit, I was always pretty "it's cool" with this pairing but now I'm all OMG OTP over it. XD
'Jessie/James 2.0 was too tame. Behold, Jessie/James 356.0!'
"Now with more flowery poetry, more references to LOTR, more weeping and longer sex scenes!"
*nod* She was more Mad Shipper than elitist. A rabid fanbrat who actually knew how to spell correctly. Most of the time.
...Oh gad, she'd probably go to war with the elitist deconstructionists. Meanwhile, the actual canon-purists would object to her characterization of Hector and the like, and - FREE FOR ALL!
HAHAHAHA yes. "No! NO! None of the women in Fire Emblem were raped ever! This is an E-rated game, there is no rape!" "How dare you suggest Caelin would resent Lyn! She is perfect in every way and anyone who suggests otherwise would be a traitor!" "Right, so if you're so against deconstructions how do you explain Hector in your fics?" "Well...that's different because he IS a bad person!"
Re: I was hoping you'd say that
HAHAHAHA yes. "No! NO! None of the women in Fire Emblem were raped ever! This is an E-rated game, there is no rape!" "How dare you suggest Caelin would resent Lyn! She is perfect in every way and anyone who suggests otherwise would be a traitor!" "Right, so if you're so against deconstructions how do you explain Hector in your fics?" "Well...that's different because he IS a bad person!"
OH GAD YES. And in FE8, she'd be a rabid Lyonfen and try to rip apart ANYONE who questioned his innate goodness of heart.
[My opinion on the entire Demon King Lyon issue is that Lyon was still in there, but the Demon King had absolute control and told Eirika and Ephraim what he calculated would hurt them most. Hence why Eirika heard 'There's nothing left' and Ephraim heard 'I am in control'. Anyway...]
'And I don't see why you need to make FE so mean and nasty, anyway! >_<;; It's so sad as it is! Poor Nergal and Zephiel and Lyon! ;_; Why do you put so much torture and death and cruelty in it? If you were a GOOD tactician, nobody died!'
'...Why did you gruesomely kill Desmond, then? And why did you keep Sonia alive just to Humiliation Conga her all the way through FE6?'
'Do you MIND?'
'...Well, no, not really, but...'
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OH GAD YES. And in FE8, she'd be a rabid Lyonfen and try to rip apart ANYONE who questioned his innate goodness of heart.
"His motives were totally pure and wonderful and his love for Eirika was twice as much!" "But...he let the Demon King take him over." "He did not! He was FORCED to obey that shitheel!"
[My opinion on the entire Demon King Lyon issue is that Lyon was still in there, but the Demon King had absolute control and told Eirika and Ephraim what he calculated would hurt them most. Hence why Eirika heard 'There's nothing left' and Ephraim heard 'I am in control'. Anyway...]
YES, that's been my feeling for a while, too. I think that's a pretty popular interpretation, honestly, or at least it was heavily discussed for a while.
'And I don't see why you need to make FE so mean and nasty, anyway! >_<;; It's so sad as it is! Poor Nergal and Zephiel and Lyon! ;_; Why do you put so much torture and death and cruelty in it? If you were a GOOD tactician, nobody died!'
'...Why did you gruesomely kill Desmond, then? And why did you keep Sonia alive just to Humiliation Conga her all the way through FE6?'
'Do you MIND?'
'...Well, no, not really, but...'
(You really think she'd do that with Sonia? @_@ Talk about overkill.)
"And if one more person tries to claim Raven and Lucius are gay I'm going to be angry! That's disgusting, what's wrong with being just friends?! Why do you sickies have to pervert everything into twisted trash ships?!"
"This coming from someone who shoves Florina together with Sain just because 'she needs a man' and you hate Hector?"
"...shut up!"
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She Humiliation Conga'd Ash for thirteen years for 'abusing' Her Heroes for about... one. Sonia UNDENIABLY neglected and emotionally abused the optimistic woobie Nino for thirteen years, murdered her entire family to start off, and brought down an organization of Noble Thieves to boot. Cori would be shaking with rage all through the intro to Night of Farewells to the point where she'd nearly drop her GBA. We might discover that Ash got off easy.
"...shut up!"
*SNERK*
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Unfortunately, the way Cori handles it might make me pity the witch. D: In the sense of "for fuck's sake, she deserves to suffer but there's cathartic (killing her with Nino or Jaffar and then watching Limstella drop the tomato in the mirror bomb on her) and then there's getting off on it!)".
She would probably do Sain/Florina for that reason, too. And as for Rebecca pairings she'd definitely do Wil, because there's plenty of angst and drama she can wring from their misunderstanding.
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Yup. In a hypothetical 'Cori Emblem', Eliwood and Ninian would be asking themselves '...Should we put her out of her misery?' as Sonia is thrown off the manor grounds yet again, raving that she is a PERFECT BEING!!11! and she WILL NOT BE MANHANDLED SO BY HUMAN REFUSE!!11! (While Ray and Lugh cry in the background 'Mommy, she's scaring us!')
She would probably do Sain/Florina for that reason, too. And as for Rebecca pairings she'd definitely do Wil, because there's plenty of angst and drama she can wring from their misunderstanding.
*wince* Oh, lordy. She would make the most sappy wangstfic look like it was written by Denning in comparison.
"This is a message from Lady Cori: Wangst awaits you on the Pairing Aisle. This is a message from Lady Cori: Wangst awaits you on the Pairing Aisle. This is a message from Lady Cori..."no subject
Totally. D: Picture "Mistakes" times TEN. Rebecca noticing Wil and tearing up because she loved him and he never came home, Wil wangsting over how he wished he had the guts to approach her, the standoff where she kicks him and then breaks down wailing and comparing herself to Lyn all "she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts" then bawwing about how Wil would never love her because she's sooooo violent, Wil singing Stabbing Westward to the night sky and whining that she would never love him because he's soooo dumb and poor, followed by some horrible traumatic thing to make them confess their love (Rebecca being attacked or captured by potential rapists, Wil being severely hurt protecting her).
...I am so glad I no longer ship that pairing.
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...*dying of laughter* I'm a Rebecca/Lowen shipper, though, and so I'm inclined to believe Cori would like that pairing more. I mean. FOOD! Miraculous cooking abilities are Cori's one true love! Just watch, he'd be preparing seventeen-course banquets from nothing more than a few emaciated rabbits and dessicated apples in the area, I tell you...
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...oh God you're right, I forgot about the food porn! XD So maybe Rebecca/Lowen and Florina/Wil and Sain/Tactician or OC? Or even Lowen/Tactician, since you suggested she'd marry him in order to have stalker access to Eliwood and Ninian way up in a previous thread. Tactician!Cori could be another Rebecca or Jessie.
But yeah, food porn!Becky/Lowen does sound Cori-ish. "Oh, Lowen, this roast jerky with ground-up shriveled peach sauce over rice makes the most succulent stir-fry! <333" "Oh, sweetheart, you praise me too much! It was your idea to bake a pie from those dried-out berries that saved this meal!"