So, since my Dreamwidth f-list is pretty small right now...

[guardians_song]

Let's contemplate what would happened if infamous badficcer Cori Falls had been a Fire Emblem fan rather than a Pokemon fan.

FE6:
-Roy is a big evil meanie-pants who picks on Zephiel, who just wasn't loved enough as a child.
-Zephiel/Brunya, I suppose?
-A Jahn fangirl would have joined up with Cori and written her self-insert OC into a pairing with Jahn, who has mysteriously grown emotions. Well, he obviously has emotions, but "non-self-righteous ***hole" emotions, I mean.
-Desmond would be resurrected at least once to be put through an incredibly humiliating and undignified second death and everyone would remember this as The One Thing Cori Did Right.
-The Bern army would be a loving and benevolent place not at all focused on world conquest.
-At least one War Dragon of abnormal intelligence would be converted into a wise-cracking loudmouth obsessed with Zephiel and Brunya's sex life.
-The entire issue with Idoun would be completely whitewashed. That, or we'd find out she enjoyed being brainwashed. Or something.

Any other suggestions, Sarajayechan?I'll post FE7 and FE8 speculations later. :P

Comments

[guardians_song]

(You really think she'd do that with Sonia? @_@ Talk about overkill.)
She Humiliation Conga'd Ash for thirteen years for 'abusing' Her Heroes for about... one. Sonia UNDENIABLY neglected and emotionally abused the optimistic woobie Nino for thirteen years, murdered her entire family to start off, and brought down an organization of Noble Thieves to boot. Cori would be shaking with rage all through the intro to Night of Farewells to the point where she'd nearly drop her GBA. We might discover that Ash got off easy.

"...shut up!"
*SNERK*

[sarajayechan]

...you're right. All Ash ever did was be a hot-blooded idiot hero and dislike Team Rocket, but otherwise he was a good kid. Sonia WAS the worst person ever.

Unfortunately, the way Cori handles it might make me pity the witch. D: In the sense of "for fuck's sake, she deserves to suffer but there's cathartic (killing her with Nino or Jaffar and then watching Limstella drop the tomato in the mirror bomb on her) and then there's getting off on it!)".

She would probably do Sain/Florina for that reason, too. And as for Rebecca pairings she'd definitely do Wil, because there's plenty of angst and drama she can wring from their misunderstanding.

[guardians_song]

Unfortunately, the way Cori handles it might make me pity the witch. D: In the sense of "for fuck's sake, she deserves to suffer but there's cathartic (killing her with Nino or Jaffar and then watching Limstella drop the tomato in the mirror bomb on her) and then there's getting off on it!)".
Yup. In a hypothetical 'Cori Emblem', Eliwood and Ninian would be asking themselves '...Should we put her out of her misery?' as Sonia is thrown off the manor grounds yet again, raving that she is a PERFECT BEING!!11! and she WILL NOT BE MANHANDLED SO BY HUMAN REFUSE!!11! (While Ray and Lugh cry in the background 'Mommy, she's scaring us!')

She would probably do Sain/Florina for that reason, too. And as for Rebecca pairings she'd definitely do Wil, because there's plenty of angst and drama she can wring from their misunderstanding.
*wince* Oh, lordy. She would make the most sappy wangstfic look like it was written by Denning in comparison. "This is a message from Lady Cori: Wangst awaits you on the Pairing Aisle. This is a message from Lady Cori: Wangst awaits you on the Pairing Aisle. This is a message from Lady Cori..."

[sarajayechan]

And then Sonia gets her period all over the place and...oh, wait. I was gonna finish with "everyone shrieks in revulsion because it's not like any other woman in the army's ever had a menstrual mishap" but morphs probably don't menstruate and I doubt Nergal gave any of his female morphs functioning reproductive organs.

Totally. D: Picture "Mistakes" times TEN. Rebecca noticing Wil and tearing up because she loved him and he never came home, Wil wangsting over how he wished he had the guts to approach her, the standoff where she kicks him and then breaks down wailing and comparing herself to Lyn all "she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts" then bawwing about how Wil would never love her because she's sooooo violent, Wil singing Stabbing Westward to the night sky and whining that she would never love him because he's soooo dumb and poor, followed by some horrible traumatic thing to make them confess their love (Rebecca being attacked or captured by potential rapists, Wil being severely hurt protecting her).

...I am so glad I no longer ship that pairing.

[guardians_song]

Eh, Cori Falls wasn't much into menstrual things. The blood all over the place would be... arterial blood, if you know what I mean.

...*dying of laughter* I'm a Rebecca/Lowen shipper, though, and so I'm inclined to believe Cori would like that pairing more. I mean. FOOD! Miraculous cooking abilities are Cori's one true love! Just watch, he'd be preparing seventeen-course banquets from nothing more than a few emaciated rabbits and dessicated apples in the area, I tell you...

[sarajayechan]

True. D:

...oh God you're right, I forgot about the food porn! XD So maybe Rebecca/Lowen and Florina/Wil and Sain/Tactician or OC? Or even Lowen/Tactician, since you suggested she'd marry him in order to have stalker access to Eliwood and Ninian way up in a previous thread. Tactician!Cori could be another Rebecca or Jessie.

But yeah, food porn!Becky/Lowen does sound Cori-ish. "Oh, Lowen, this roast jerky with ground-up shriveled peach sauce over rice makes the most succulent stir-fry! <333" "Oh, sweetheart, you praise me too much! It was your idea to bake a pie from those dried-out berries that saved this meal!"