Okay, fess up, who let the crackficcers start writing reality?

Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop comes to aid of Utah neighbor chased and attacked by stalker, authorities say
Scientists find ethnicity linked to antibodies
Team finds antibody that transforms bone marrow stem cells directly into brain cells
And, in the-Pope-is-Catholic-and-bears-excrete-in-the-wood news:
Anti-smoking ads with strong arguments, not flashy editing, trigger part of brain involving behavior change
Why, it's almost as if people are intelligent, thinking beings, rather than flash-addled lab mice, isn't it?

...Nah.

Shining Force review!

Story: 2.5/5 for content, 4/5 for... randomness
Characters: 2/5 for content, 5/5 for creativity
Gameplay: 4.5/5 - fun, simple, and smoothly-flowing with occasional challenges
Music: 4.5/5 - nice retro sound [Hey, it was the state of the art in 1992!]
Graphics: 5/5 - 2D, but brightly-colored and well-drawn
Price: 10/5 - 99 cents at the iTunes App Store!!!
Overall Rating: 4.5/5 It's fun!

Edit: After playing Shining Force for a bit again, I have to correct myself - that technically isn't a nautilus. I guess it's more of an amobea... jellyfish... thingy.

I first played Shining Force when I was about seven or eight, and enjoyed it greatly - though I didn't exactly grasp too much of the plot. A description of what I remembered would probably be along the lines of 'There's this guy who washed up on a beach and can't remember anything, and then there's an army he leads around, and you fight a three-headed evil dragon at the end. And also, there's a werewolf!'

( On the one hand, that's a fairly accurate description. On the other hand, I seriously needed Ritalin if the ONLY unusual thing I noticed was the werewolf. )

TL;DR: It's not great if you're looking for characterization, world-building, or an A.I. that didn't repeat 1st grade seventeen times, but I like it anyway.
If you want a fun, cracky, and brightly-colored strategy game with which to while away some time, play Shining Force.
If you want an actual quality game for $0.99 without in-app purchases to jack up the effective price, play Shining Force.
If you want to use a talking rhinoceros in steampunk armor and an ice-casting floating nautilus to beat up your enemies, I honestly don't think you have any choice other than Shining Force.

5 Lives Harry Didn't Have (PG-13, oneshot, explanations at end)

Title: 5 Lives Harry Didn't Have
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13 (swearing, some possibly disturbing content)
Genre: General/Angst
Word Count: 1527 (I - what?! HOW? Where'd all that come from?!)
Summary: /AU/ All divergences make Harry happier, don't they? Of course. Anything was better than the Dursleys... wasn't it?
Disclaimer: If I were J.K. Rowling, what would I be doing writing fanfic?

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( Five different worlds, five different Harrys... )