guardians_song | If Cori Falls had been in Twilight fandom...

...the stereotypical answer would be that she'd be a fervent Edward/Bella shipper. But this is selling Cori short. She did have a strong moral compass, though it was a completely bonkers one, and she had a pathological hatred for inconsiderate, arrogant, and/or self-centered people. That she ended up making Team Rocket precisely that was... probably a sign that something had gone haywire upstairs. But when she wasn't going batshit insane over her hatred for Ash, she was fairly consistent.

Where am I going with this? I'm pointing out that Cori was a militant friendshipper - oh, and while I'm at it, she had an utter infatuation with mystic spiritual powers and the idea of soulmates.

That's right. She'd be a Bella/Jacob BNF.

And she'd probably be a Big Name Anti-Fan, though she'd rapidly creep the other snarkers out. I somehow think Cori's WRH of New Moon would end with a live Edward delivered back to the Cullens in several pieces (since vampires can survive disembowelment, remember?). And she would throw the most EPIC shitfit come Breaking Dawn. It would make New Beginnings look moderate. And the sad thing is that she'd have halfway-decent justifications, since all vampires in Twilight canon either murder humans or tolerate murder as an alternative dietary choice... but then she'd hurl the werewolves right past several Moral Event Horizons and not even realize she was doing it. And then there would be some ritual to make Bella a werewolf, and ahaha I am so tempted to write a trollfic in this style as a tribute to Miss Falls. ...I am SO tempted.

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...holy shit. You know, this does actually fit her. It's okay for characters who aren't The Main One to act a certain way or be less than perfect. Edward = main male character, is a jerkass, thus? Ash treatment. Jacob, on the other hand, is The Rival and therefore automatically superior.

It's not just that factor, since she did treat Yugi decently. I actually wondered if I was guessing her potential shipping affiliation incorrectly, but then it occurred to me -

Edward's ditching of Bella for-her-own-good in New Moon is a dead ringer for Cori!Jessie's breakup with her abusive boyfriend Antonio. Or at least Cori would see it that way.
"When I said no, he grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me, and...and I just couldn't take it anymore -- I broke away and slapped him. I told him that I was sick of him hitting me and bossing me around and to leave me alone. And I swear to you, James, a fire sparked in his eyes when I did that! He threw me to the ground and called me a stupid little bitch...and that he was sick of me, too. The last thing he said to me before walking away for good was that I'd never find anybody else to love me because I'm mean, and nasty, and evil. He told me I'd be alone forever...." But before Jessie could say anything more, her voice trailed off, and she began to cry again. - The Thorns of the Rose

So Edward would DEFINITELY hit Cori's buttons. She'd probably say that she read Twilight because everyone was going crazy over it, but she didn't like it for some vague reason - and then she read New Moon out of curiosity, and instantly fell in love with Jacob/Bella and was heartbroken when Alice showed back up again. And she'd have multi-page rants over how she didn't understand how anyone could possibly EVER like Edward Cullen, and have it be so that Edward's dazzle was literally hypnotizing Bella in the old vampiric style so she couldn't see that her TRUE love was for Jacob. Okay, multi-page rants against Edward Cullen would be typical for the anti-fandom, but Cori'd go to new and fascinating extremes. And it wouldn't help that she'd be glorifying every facet about the werewolves ever.

Jacob, meanwhile, borders on BEING Cori!James by default. Okay, he's got components of Cori!Jessie, too, but Cori could legitimately write about his rope-breaking pecs and wild animal side and all of that while also switching to goofy ol' Jacob whenever it suited her. ...and, unfortunately, all the creepy Jacob parts of Eclipse would fly right under her radar because it would make perfect sense to her. And she'd have a grandstanding fit about anyone who thought Jacob's forcible kiss of Bella was anything but true love trying to pull her back from the vampiric brink.

Like I said, I am SO tempted to write a trollfic in her style, because she would fit PERFECTLY into the militantly anti-Edward Jacob/Bella niche. I thought FE!Cori would be epic, but holy crap, Twilight!Cori would be a perfect storm of fandom, fanficcer, and canon material to end all fandom wars. I am stunned by the perfection.

Ah, right. Also Yugi gets a free pass in her book because he's a nerd. JUST LIKE HER!!!!

...you should write that trollfic. Totally. XD And Edward would SO become the new Antonio.

And so is BELLA!!11!! Except Cori would have a bit of reading comprehension fail where Bella's fondness for English-lit stuff got turned into a encyclopedic knowledge of Lord of the Rings and Dungeons and Dragons lore, but her usual fannish-obsession-speech would be hilariously dead-on for Bella. Just with the target being how wonderful Tolkien's prose was rather than how sparkly Edward is.

...I am so tempted. Not least because, given Twilight fandom's tastes, my troll account could actually become a BNF if I didn't show my hand too obviously. It would have been better to pull it before the fandom started winding down, but it would be a marvelous social experiment...

Oh God, Bella the Tolkien fangirl. XD Considering "her" book was Wuthering Heights that'd be quite a leap.

Yeah, things could turn pretty epic. Not MsScribe epic, but epic nonetheless.

"Oh God, Bella the Tolkien fangirl. XD Considering "her" book was Wuthering Heights that'd be quite a leap."
Well, Cori was a Snape fan. It's possible she liked Wuthering Heights as well. >_> But you know Renee would be the Awesome Pagan Mom and fund Bella's epic-fantasy habit with nothing but joy. And possibly she would break Bella free of Edward's dazzlefluence by setting up a Magic Circle Against Sparkle, and...

"Yeah, things could turn pretty epic. Not MsScribe epic, but epic nonetheless."
Yeah, Cori wasn't the sort to hide behind sockpuppets. But she'd actually be able to manage a cult following in Twilight fandom, because the exact behavior that scared people off in a saner fandom is openly embraced in Twilight fandom - 'Twilight Moms', anyone? Team Jacob/Team Edward? So we'd have the Twihards and Fallhards waging Zutara-level flamewars, with Cori probably right in the forum-crashing, thread-freezing trenches...

Damn, Twilight fandom missed all the good wank.

Cori would be a Bella/Jacob fan! I can't see her being fond of Edward at all. XD The question is, how will she treat Leah? Will she be the new Jessibelle or something?

...Hmm, that's funny. I guess I accidentally deleted the sentence where I mentioned that Leah would be Meowth...

(Of course, Cori!Leah would be either only a little 'unreasonably' bitter about the whole Sam thing, or she'd be totally justified and Emily wouldn't REALLY be Sam's imprint, he'd only be using that excuse because he was a jerk and JACOB AND BELLA'S IMPRINT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYTHING AND SHOW EVERYONE HOW FAKE SAM'S "IMPRINT" WAS. Cori would likely take it easy on Leah and claim that Meyer didn't understand her character, since Cori was fond of much-wronged tsunderes, but it would hinge on whether Cori wanted to make her a snarky Jacob/Bella sidekick or another broken-hearted tsundere with an abusive ex-boyfriend. I err on the side of 'snarky sidekick' ONLY because she had no canon love interest. But it really could go either way...)

If Cori Falls had been in Twilight fandom...

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