This story was discussed on lkh_lashouts here. lliira sporked it here. I am sporking it because I can add something new - namely, a line-by-line sporking. Since it's already been beaten to tar, I also have the luxury of inserting CAPSLOCK reactions rather than dissecting it in detail if I so desire. ...And this thing merits CAPSLOCK, believe me.

Disclaimer: You could not pay me to take credit for this. Laurell K. Hamilton produced this, and by gad, she can HAVE it.
Everything Warning: It's an Anita Blake story.

( In retrospect, I really shouldn't have done this all in one run. )
Any analysis will wait until later. That was... unexpectedly bad. I mean, I knew it was bad just from reading it, but a close reading just exposed countless layers of awfulness and... awfulness, that's all I can really say about it. "Creepiness" doesn't do it justice. Well, the sheer amount of CAPSLOCK during the spork probably made that abundantly clear.

Anyway, I hope readers enjoy!

So I'm using Google Books for my reference, so I'm not getting the whole thing. It apparently starts on page 77, and my preview begins on page 94.

That said, by the time I can see it, he hasn't even GONE OFF TO STUDY ABROAD. So, for a rendition of "HAMLET"? It desperately needs an editor.

And, oh boy, does it! You see, Orson Scott Card wrote:
"I have little interest in a dithering hero; nor am I much inspired by revenge plots. Yet I keep hearing that this is the greatest of them all.

So I analyzed the story to see what it would take to make me care about it."
So, naturally, he rewrites Hamlet as an excruciatingly flat hero who is Always Moral and Righteous and Actually a Pompous Ass (Unintentionally).

Ahem. I mean.

( Trigger warning for pedophilia, misogyny, and Orson Scott Card. Um, does the last makes the other two redundant? )

Overall review of the Google Books sample forthcoming.

A magenta-haired teenager frowns and looks up. "We're doing another sporking?"
"Don't y' have work fer Das Sporking an' Silver Sporks t' do? T' say nothin' of research?" her sandy-haired companion asks, looking askance at the screen from under his Rocket cap.
Procrastination knows no obligations! ...On second thought, you guys probably want to strangle me... :D;;

ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!


THE DIFFERENCE
by Cori Falls
( Welcome to Emo-Wobbuffet Land! )

[to be (eventually) continued...]

Also, can you guys hit me if I ever try to go without <br/>s again?

Microaggressions.com (Warning: Either Not Safe For Blood Pressure or May Induce Uncontrollable Laughter.)
Some of the complaints are legitimate. Some of them are just freakin' bizarre.

Let's look at a few of the gems, shall we?
( Leeeet's get OFFENDED(TM)! )

harp recommended that I should tackle this thing. And boy, is it a bizarre doozy. Not that it doesn't have some valid points, but others... just creep me the hell out. (Hope this spork is about what was intended.)

Disclaimer: I am "sexual", which means I am not asexual. I am also not interested in shagging every person fitting my vague preferences that comes along. Oh noes!!! According to this list, I don't exist!!!

Yes, that's about the level of what we're about to encounter...

Sporked-text in regular font, my commentary in bold type.

---

( Trigger warnings for discussed homophobia, rape culture, slut-shaming, aaaand a whole bunch of other such stuff. And for some asexuals who genuinely think that homophobia is no longer an issue except for a 'vocal minority'. ...Yes, it's THAT sort of SJWing... )