Well, apparently PHP will have to wait. DISREGARD, I SUCK NOSCRIPT BLOCKERS.
ACTUALLY, I just needed to tell NoScript to allow scripts from [IP Address] 54.243.202.158. Yes, I am stupid enough to have NoScript running on a programming website. If I ever claimed to be a genius, I never claimed IQ correlated to actual common sense and competence. :P
Bleeeh humbug. :P Off to jQuery and Javascript again. At least the jQuery course is working all right now.
[Ha. This Nils icon may be the most helpful icon I ever made. Shock and awe works well for so many things. ...LJers, know that I'm talking about this icon, which was derived from a Fire Emblem Texts From Last Night post:
The context, by the way, was...

*snork* Poor Nils...]