Let’s redo this theory, shall we?

( Warning for pompous, long-winded content and desperate attempts to make a crack-theory sound plausible. Boy have I gotten stuffy in five years. )

 

 

***END FAN THEORY***

 

…This was so much less long-winded in the version from five years ago. *winces* Next time, I’ll just write a one-shot. At least then I’d have 3,800+ words worth of content.

 

 

( Side Notes )

 

...and thinking that I didn't know if it would ever achieve such heights of insanity again. Well, courtesy of fandom_wank, I have now discovered that batshittery is not gone from the Internet, it was merely waiting for the stars to align and the right megafandom to awaken it once again.

Behold. The disturbingly-soberly-written message itself (COMPLETELY NOT SAFE FOR SANITY) is right here.

Question: Should anyone attempt to set this guy up with this lady? Somehow, I think they'd get along well...