In the afterword to his book Maps in a Mirror, Scott Card writes, “Writers should not waste their time or talent trying to tell stories in someone else’s universe.” He then goes on to explain why it’s OK that he immediately went on to participate in an Isaac Asimov fanfic anthology because, “like all laws, this one can be circumvented if you work hard enough” and because he “had a compelling story of my own to tell.”
(source)

In other words, 'MY FANFIC IS BETTER THAN YOOOOOURS!!11!'

Surprisingly, a lot of Orson Scott Card's antics make sense if you think of him as a really pretentious BNF who often goes into fits of being a really pretentious drama-queen. A paranoid pretentious drama-queen with a peculiar obsession with THE GAYS WHO WILL DESTROY SOCIETY, mind. But I plan to spend more time mocking him than being angry at him, because sapping his credibility is more effective, long-term, than propping him up as the Great Homophobe Devil. (Besides, the latter only feeds his persecution complex. A charge of idiocy is far more offensive to - and effective against - certain personalities than a charge of moral wrongdoing.)

More in a bit... in the meantime, have Scott Lynch's parody of his version of Hamlet. Sadly... I tracked down a copy through Google Books, and yes, OSC!Hamlet is really THAT BAD. (I hate to say it, but overwhelmingly condemning it for homophobia is giving it too much credit. It implies that the rest of the story might have some merit, if not for that disgusting aspect. ...It is fanfiction.net-level awfulness, I swear to gad.)
"We like chicks," yelled every man in Henry's army. "And only from the front, the way god intended!"

So I'm using Google Books for my reference, so I'm not getting the whole thing. It apparently starts on page 77, and my preview begins on page 94.

That said, by the time I can see it, he hasn't even GONE OFF TO STUDY ABROAD. So, for a rendition of "HAMLET"? It desperately needs an editor.

And, oh boy, does it! You see, Orson Scott Card wrote:
"I have little interest in a dithering hero; nor am I much inspired by revenge plots. Yet I keep hearing that this is the greatest of them all.

So I analyzed the story to see what it would take to make me care about it."
So, naturally, he rewrites Hamlet as an excruciatingly flat hero who is Always Moral and Righteous and Actually a Pompous Ass (Unintentionally).

Ahem. I mean.

( Trigger warning for pedophilia, misogyny, and Orson Scott Card. Um, does the last makes the other two redundant? )

Overall review of the Google Books sample forthcoming.

In a word: UGH.
In an action: *dry sobbing*
In a question: WHY?!

So I analyzed the story to see what it would take to make me care about it. "Hamlet's Father" is what I came up with.

*throws up hands* 

( So I analyzed the story to see what it would take to make me care about it... )

Now, having expressed at length how much I despise the story, I must defend it on one point before turning around and attacking it on the exact same point.
( TW: discussion of child molestation. )

( THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! )

0/10.
Recommended for: people who have algolangia. Possibly the only way to get enjoyment out of this book.

Video games do not make vulnerable teens more violent, study says
Do men and women really look for different things in a romantic partner? (...Ehem. Out of curiosity, is this study on males and females in general or HETEROSEXUAL males and females? Inquiring minds...)

By the way, Autostraddle lists Carmilla as a trashy lesbian romance. ...Accurate. :P

Very Good Advice From Bill Watterson, in Comic Strip Form

Someone else liveblogging Hamlet's Father, Part One / Part Two / [no Part Three]